Fearing Goodbye
by Kalow
Summary: Momo Hinamori was born with a terminal heart condition. Knowing that she will die young, she avoids making friends or other attachments that she will have to say goodbye to. But when she falls in love with Toushiro Hitsugaya, this begins to change.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Momo Hinamori was born with a terminal heart condition and knows that she will die young. Because of this, she is afraid to form any friendships or attachments to the world, as she knows she will have to say goodbye to them soon. When she meets Toushiro Hitsugaya though, all of that begins to change.

* * *

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter One_

Toushiro Hitsugaya sat restlessly in the main office of Brady High School. His family had just moved to this town, and this was his first day at his new school. He stared at the walls blankly, counting the bricks, painted a bright white that managed to somehow be even brighter than his own snow-white hair, especially under the bright lights. It was a rather dull and uninteresting place. Here and there were a few decorations put up by secretaries, but nothing significant enough to take away from the very business-oriented office.

He wondered when he would actually meet someone. He had been told that somebody would come to introduce him to the school and guide him to his new classes. Toushiro wasn't looking forward to that, but it still beat waiting around in this office. He felt irritated that he had to go through introducing himself to school all over again. He was an introverted person, and it had taken him a long time to get used to his last school, only to now be made to attend another school! His parents were fairly wealthy, and moved from time to time as their business grew and new partnerships were formed. Toushiro didn't even bother keeping track of it; all that really mattered to him was the effect of this on his life.

He now had to get used to this school, make new friends, and adjust to the new town all over again. Given his icy, introverted personality, this would be no small task. He was certain he could do it, but that didn't make it easy, nor did it make him eager to begin. It was practically as much as a hassle as doing schoolwork. More of a hassle really, given his academic brilliance.

Finally, a man stepped out from one of the rooms of the smaller rooms of the main office and walked over to the set of chairs where Toushiro sat. He looked to be in his fifties, and had greying hair. He was a tall man with a stout body, making Toushiro feel even smaller than usual by comparison. His icy blue eyes, lacking the aqua-green tint that Toushiro's possessed, scrutinized Toushiro as he sat in his chair.

"Toushiro Hitsugaya?" the man asked.

"That's right," Toushiro nodded.

"I am Principal Kuhlman, I will be introducing you to our fine school. First, let me say welcome to Brady High School. We are honored to have you here." Though his words were polite, his tone was formal and business-like. They weren't unkind, but neither did they make Toushiro feel particularly welcome. Of course he himself had been told that his words had that effect on people, so he couldn't really judge Principal Kuhlman on this.

"Thank you sir," Toushiro said, shaking his hand.

"Well, if you come to my office I'll go over the rules and procedures for the school, along with our policies and standards," Kuhlman said.

"Wouldn't it be possible for me to just read the school handbook for those things?" Toushiro asked hopefully.

"I'm afraid not," Kuhlman said curtly, "I have to tell you in person. It's one of our rules." Toushiro sighed.

"Very well then…" he said, following the principle to his office.

---

Momo Hinamori sat at the sides of the gymnasium, silently reading a book. The room was filled with the sound of shoes on the gym floor, as the others in the gym class ran laps. Momo did not even wear gym clothes, as she never participated in any activities. This class was required to graduate though, and thus Momo was left with no choice but to attend, even if she did nothing during the entire period.

As the others ran past, they would sometimes give her dirty looks. They didn't want to be running around in circles, and were bitter towards Momo because she got to sit out during all the exercises they had to do. In truth, Momo would love to be out there exercising with them, but her body wouldn't allow it. Not that this would make a difference to them, even if they knew about it.

Things had always been like this for Momo. She was never able to live life like a normal person. Momo was born with a severe heart defect. She couldn't run, couldn't exercise, and couldn't do anything that would cause unnecessary stress. Her heart was smaller and weaker than a normal person's. It had difficulty pumping blood throughout her body, and a deformed heart valve and several narrow arteries made this worse. Several times, her heart had begun to pump too slowly to properly move life-giving blood throughout her body, and she had to be rushed to a hospital. On two of these occasions, she had even suffered outright heart attacks.

She had been told that it was only a matter of time before her heart was unable to sufficiently supply blood to her body, at which point she would die. She didn't know when this would occur, only that it would happen far sooner than she wanted. The doctors who treated her said that it was extremely unlikely that she would live past the age of twenty.

Momo was already fifteen, almost sixteen. Going by the word of her doctor, she had at most a little over four years to live. It was too soon. She wasn't ready to die yet. She sometimes cried at night, unable to think of anything but her approaching death. She was horribly scared, but over time had begun to slowly accept the reality. Even though she was still frightened, she did not try to deny the fact that she would die. She didn't cling to false hopes or seek the comfort of others; she had to face death on her own.

Because of this, she didn't socialize with others. If she made friends, she would end up having to say goodbye to them in just a few years. It was much easier just to live without attachments to this world. It would make dying a lot easier, as she would not be leaving anybody behind. Not that she really believed there were people who would actually want to be her friend. Most either ignored her or disliked her for her unusual behavior. A few made friendly gestures, but Momo always turned them away. It was kinder to them as well. Why make them her friends if she would be leaving them so soon?

Momo looked over at the clock. There were ten minutes left to class. Soon the others would be called back to the locker rooms to get dressed in their normal school clothes. Momo wanted to leave before then, so she quietly crept into the girl's locker room where her backpack was stored. She slung it over her shoulders when a voice yelled at her.

"Hey! Where are you going so early?" Momo turned to see two female students had followed after her. Momo gulped nervously.

"I was about to leave for lunch," she said quietly.

"Oh were you? That's funny, class doesn't end for another ten minutes."

"I always leave a little early," Momo said.

"I know that you dumb bitch!" the girl yelled, "What I want to know is why! Why are you always sitting out in gym while we work our asses off? Why do you get special privileges to leave early for lunch? Do you feel entitled to all this special treatment?"

"N-no, I just…" Momo turned and began to walk away, but one of the girls grabbed onto her backpack.

"Going so soon? What's the rush?" she snickered.

"She's probably being repelled by your awful smell," a third voice said. They turned to see Rangiku Matsumoto walking up behind them.

"You again? You really want to defend this idiot?"

"I'd defend anyone trying to get away from someone as smelly and ugly as you," Rangiku said with a smile.

"You…" the girl growled, letting go of Momo's bag and walking towards Rangiku. Momo took this opportunity to get away, running as fast as her weak body allowed. She went out the door on the other side of the locker rooms and ran off to lunch.

---

"Well I think that about does it," Principal Kuhlman said to a weary Toushiro. He had just finished reading Toushiro all of the school's rules and policies, most of which he already knew. It was now nearly lunch time.

"So can I see my class schedule? I'm not sure where and when my classes are," Toushiro said.

"I'll have the Vice-Principal handle that. He already has the information, just go over and knock on his door. His is the fourth room down." Kuhlman dismissed Toushiro back to the main office. Sighing (as he had done many times that day) he walked over to the door of the Vice Principal and knocked.

"Come in," a voice on the other side said. Toushiro walked in to see a man behind a desk. He was younger than Kuhlman, and had a more welcoming appearance. He had dark hair cropped close to his scalp and a short goatee. He had keen brown eyes behind a set of glasses. He stood up to greet his visitor, revealing himself to be not much taller than Toushiro.

"Hello, what can I do for you?" he asked, extending a hand to him.

"I'm, um, Toushiro Hitsugaya. I was told to come here for my class schedule," Toushiro said, shaking his hand.

"Ah yes, I was told you might come by. I am Vice-Principal O'Neil. It's a pleasure to meet you," he said, "Just give me a moment to pull up your schedule."

He sat back down and turned to the computer sitting on his desk. For a minute, he silently moved the mouse and typed on the keyboard, and then turned back to Toushiro.

"Okay, it seems that your first period is biology, your second period history, your third period algebra, your fourth period English, and your fifth period computer science. Here, I'll print off a copy so you can see which teachers you have and where your classes are located," he clicked the mouse a few times and a printer on the other side of the room came to life, printing out a list of his classes and teachers.

"Thank you sir," Toushiro said, gratefully taking the paper. He already knew that he much preferred Vice-Principal O'Neil to Principal Kuhlman.

"No problem. By the way, it's nearly lunch time, so after you've looked over your class list it might be a good idea to go grab lunch. The cafeteria is right across the hall from the office."

"Yes, thank you sir," Toushiro said, going to study his class schedule and then go to lunch.

---

"Oh no! We're late for lunch again!" Rangiku said dramatically.

"What do you mean?" Rukia Kuchiki asked, "We're only, like, tenth in line or something."

"Yeah, but we'll soon be thirtieth in line!" Rangiku said.

"What makes you say that?"

"Don't you ever stand in line? If you're anything more than third in line, someone in front of you will end up letting all of their friends cut in line, and then they'll all let their friends cut in line and it goes on and on and on!"

"Aren't you overreacting?" Rukia asked.

"No, of course not! See, a bunch of those mean girls I told you about earlier just went straight to the front! The nerve of them!"

"It's only a slightly longer wait; it's no big deal really," Rukia said.

"That's not the point! It's the principle of the thing! We have to hurry up to get in line, but they just arrive at their leisure and go straight to the front! It's an outrage!" Rangiku said.

"Well there's nothing we can do about it, so why bother complaining?"

"Look, they've already got their lunch!" Rangiku said, ignoring her, "Ooooh, they make me so mad! We were here first, so why do they think they can get their lunch before us? Oh, and now they're going off to pick on that poor Momo girl!" Sure enough, they were now heading straight for the table Momo sat at, and were certainly going to harass her.

"I can't stand people like that! I'm going to go give them a piece of my mind," Rangiku said. She was about to walk off towards them, but Rukia grabbed her arm.

"Don't, it won't stop them. They'll only pick on her more to spite you," Rukia said.

"But we can't just let them do that to her! We have to confront them! She has to put up with bullying all day long; she should at least be able to eat lunch in peace."

"I know, but what can we do? She doesn't even seem to want our help. Every time we try she doesn't even acknowledge us. We can't help someone unwilling to accept help."

"But…"

"Anything we do will just make things worse, just stay out of it," Rukia said. Rangiku looked over at Momo, who was now surrounded by bullies. She wanted to help her, but knew that Rukia was right. There wasn't much that she could do to help Momo unless Momo herself was willing to accept her help.

Over at the table she sat at, Momo put up with the abuse thrown at her. She slowly ate her lunch as those around her taunted her.

"Eating lunch early? I guess our little princess is too good to deal with a line! Maybe that's why she's excused from gym class too! You must have really sucked up to the teachers!"

"Nah, I hear she got put in the special-ed program, that's why there's all these concessions! Her poor little stupid mind can't take the difficulty of gym or lunch, so they have to help her with it!"

"So is it true that you spend your fifth period just playing computer games? It must be fun to have it so easy!"

"And even with all this special treatment, you constantly skip school!"

"I've never seen her outside of school, so she must just stay home constantly. I bet she doesn't even have any friends."

"You're the most pathetic person on earth, you know that?"

Momo silently ate her lunch as she endured the cruel taunts. She was used to this type of treatment. It was practically part of her daily routine to be bullied like this. All she could do was try to ignore their insults.

Suddenly, Momo felt a tingling sensation throughout her body, accompanied by a shortness of breath. Knowing what this meant, she immediately grabbed her bag and hurriedly ran away from the table, making the bullies laugh, thinking that she had run away because of them. Momo paid them no attention though, hurriedly exiting the cafeteria and running to the bathroom across the hall. She hurriedly reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle, from which she took two blue pills. She quickly swallowed them, taking deep breaths to calm herself down.

She had panicked back there, but now that she had taken her medication, she was able to calm down. She still felt tingly, short of breath, and light headed, but it didn't seem like as much of an emergency as it had minutes before. The stress from the situation probably made it seem worse than it really was. Nevertheless, she thought it best for her to go home now and rest for the remainder of the day. It was best not to overexert herself when she was like this. Trying not to think of what would be said about her leaving early, she hurriedly left the bathroom, heading for the office to check herself out.

As she walked over however, a short, white haired boy exited the office, walking straight into Momo and causing them both to fall to the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter Two_

Momo fell on top of the boy, causing him to drop the folders he was carrying. She began to get up, but stopped when she got a good look at him. He was very short, but also quite attractive. He had bright white hair and brilliant teal eyes. Momo stared at him for a moment before coming back to her senses.

"S-sorry! I'm so sorry!" Momo said quickly. She stood up, trying to compose herself. "I'm really, really sorry! It won't happen again!"

"It's fine, don't worry about it," he said, picking up his things before getting to his feet, "Are you okay?"

"Y-yes! Yes, I'm fine!" she said nervously. She was used to people yelling at her for this sort of thing, and half expected this person to do so. He did not though. His expression did not display any anger, just disinterest.

"Well, bye then," he said, turning to leave. Momo suddenly felt the urge to go after him. There was something about him that made her curious. She supposed it might have been his bright white hair or his somewhat chilly demeanor that made him so oddly fascinating.

"Wait!" she suddenly said, "What…what's your name?" He turned and looked at her with his teal eyes, his intense gaze making her feel like he was looking into her soul to judge her. She thought for a moment that he wouldn't answer her, but then he spoke.

"Toushiro. Toushiro Hitsugaya," he said, "I'm new here."

"It-it's nice to meet you Toushiro," Momo said, trying to be polite, "I'm Momo. I…I guess I'll see you then!"

Momo dashed into the office, leaving Toushiro behind.

---

Momo rested on the couch, a pillow beneath her head as she rested. She didn't close her eyes to sleep, she just stared at the ceiling, taking deep, calming breaths. Sleeping at her feet was Ginger, her pet poodle. Ginger was a miniature poodle; smaller than a regular poodle but bigger than a toy poodle. She had rich, orangish-brown fur, officially known as 'apricot' amongst dog breeders. Ginger was the only living thing that Momo truly had bonds with. She avoided all other relationships as they would just end in sadness when she died. Ginger was bought for her when she was only six, before she understood the severity of her condition. Now nearly ten, the poodle would probably die around the same time Momo would, which made it easier for Momo to bond with the dog.

Momo took deep, slow breaths. Her doctors had suggested this as a method of calming down so as not to strain her weak heart, but it never made her feel any better. It helped with the temporary shortness of breath, numbness, and chest pains, but it didn't do anything for her overall sense of weakness and sadness. She placed a hand over her heart, feeling it thumping in her chest. She wondered when it would stop. It was so weak and deformed, it couldn't keep working forever. The doctors said she might live to be twenty, but she knew that it was quite possible for her to die on any given day. Some day her heart would just stop working, and she'd collapse and die.

She shivered at the thought. This had already nearly happened twice. Once while in the grocery store, she had suddenly felt a sharp pain in her chest and collapsed. Her heart had stopped almost entirely, and only the timely intervention of several other customers and a nearby employee had saved her life. Another time, just a few months ago, she had been at home when she felt sharp chest pains and her body went numb. She had only barely managed to dial 911before she was completely overtaken by the effects. She wasn't even able to speak, only gasp into the phone. Luckily, they had sent an ambulance to her house, where they broke down the door to find her slumped over in a chair. They were able to resuscitate her, but later said that if she had been left for just one more minute, she would have likely died. Both of these were terrifying experiences. The fear and confusion was dreadful, as was the pain. The memory of gasping for breath while her mind became murky and her body numb was perhaps the most frightening memories she would ever have. And what made it worse was the fact that it would almost certainly happen again.

She rubbed Ginger with her toes as she thought of these things. She wished she had somebody to talk to, but there was no one there for her. That was the way it had always been for her. Almost as soon as she had been born, she had been diagnosed with a congenital heart defect. After learning of the severity of her condition and the great amount of care she would need, her mother abandoned her. Momo's father tried to raise Momo alone, but it was far too difficult. Due to her condition, she required far more care than an ordinary baby. She had to constantly be watched, and frequently had to go to the hospital and receive medication. Her father genuinely tried to take care of her, but he couldn't do it, especially after losing his job. He ended up killing himself out of shame for not being able to take care of his daughter. Momo was three at the time. Ever since then, she had been passed around to various family members. Some were better than others, but none were able to give her the care she needed. Her hospital bills were immense, and she needed several surgeries throughout her life. Nobody could take care of her. Now she lived alone, financially supported by her family, but with none who was willing to take her in. It was lonely, just waiting to die like this.

She sighed. Despite her loneliness, she knew it was probably best that she was alone. It meant she wouldn't be leaving anything behind. She lived alone. Her parents were gone. She had no friends or anyone who she really felt friendship or love towards, nor did anyone else feel that way about her. She was all alone and would die alone. Nobody would miss her, and she would leave no impact on the world; her meaningless existence would merely be over.

Tears leaked from her eyes. Why did it have to be her? Why did she have to suffer like this? What was the point to living if it only consisted of waiting for death? She wanted to live, to be able to make friends and grow up and maybe get a job and retire some day, but all of that was impossible for her. There was no point to any of it. She sometimes wished that death would just take her quickly so she wouldn't have to suffer like this.

She suddenly began slapping herself in the face, and wiped away the tears. She had to stop feeling pity for herself. There was no point to crying and angsting over her eventual death. She had already accepted it as inevitable, yet she still cried often over it. She knew that it was pointless, but she couldn't stop. Her entire life was filled with pain but no happiness. The only feature of her life was the wait for death. She had nothing to look forward to and nothing to live for. It was all just a painful, meaningless existence.

---

Toushiro sat down in a seat near the far end of his English class. Class hadn't started yet, meaning that there were a lot of people talking. Judging by the frequent glances in his direction, a large portion of the conversation was probably about him. He always attracted this sort of attention. He supposed it was his bright white hair and cold personality that made people fascinated by him.

"Psst," a girl behind him whispered. Toushiro ignored her. He wasn't in the mood to talk.

"Psst!" she said again, this time jabbing him in the back with a pencil, "Psst!"

"What?" Toushiro finally said in annoyance, turning around. A girl with strawberry-blonde hair and very 'developed' assets was looking at him intently.

"Are you new here?" she asked.

"Obviously," Toushiro said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm Rangiku!" she said.

"That's nice," Toushiro replied coldly.

"What's your name?" Rangiku said, apparently not at all put off by his cold attitude.

"Toushiro," he said with a scowl, "Now be quiet."

"You're really short Toushiro, are you a midget?" Rangiku said, causing Toushiro to scowl.

"No, I advanced a grade because of high academic performance," he said irritably.

"Really? What a coincidence! I was held back a grade for low academic performance!" Rangiku said brightly.

"Imagine that," Toushiro said sarcastically.

"It's true! I'd always goof off in class so they held me back! I don't mind though because it means I get to be the oldest kid in class now!"

"Do you plan on shutting up any time soon?" Toushiro said bluntly.

"Can't see why I would," Rangiku said, "By the way, I have a really cool story to tell! There was this one time that…"

Toushiro tried to ignore Rangiku's chatter, but found it impossible. He was noticeably grumbling when another girl came and sat in the desk next to Rangiku's.

"I think you've bothered the new kid enough," she said.

"Are you sure?" Rangiku said, "He looks like he's enjoying it to me."

"I'm sure," the girl said. "By the way, I'm Miyone," she said to Toushiro.

"I'm Toushiro," he replied. Miyone was of average height, thin, and had straight black hair.

"It's odd that the teacher isn't here yet. Class was supposed to start a few minutes ago," yet another girl said. Toushiro looked around to see that it was the girl behind Rangiku, who had been silent up until now. She waved to him.

"I'm Rukia, sorry to have ignored you but I figured you wouldn't be very interested in talking right now," she said.

"So when do you think that the teacher will come?" he asked. Everyone present shrugged.

"She tends to come in whenever she feels like it. She's not very consistent, and classes aren't particularly intense. I guess it's just her teaching style," Rangiku said.

"What class do you have next period?" Miyone asked.

"Computer Science," Toushiro replied.

"Ooh, you're going to have a boring time with that," Rangiku said, "That class is really dull. It's not nearly as cool as it sounds. Looks like you're in for a boring first day."

"Oh, don't worry. You're already making this an eventful day for me," Toushiro said.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Nothing…" he said, "Just…never mind."

"Hey, the teacher is here!" Rukia said, pointing to the door. The teacher walked in, and everybody quickly stopped talking. Toushiro sighed. he ha a strange feeling that this new school held more than a few surprises for him…

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to Hinata-cutie, cloud683, Kinaia, AznVKai, DW64, liquid prince, kRyStAlt3aRz, zoelol, halliegirl, Momo21, Merciless Ruby, and Ryuu117 for reviewing! Now I have a few things to say. First, let me say that I was EXTREMELY happy to see all the reviews I received for my first chapter. Seriously, words cannot describe how good it felt to see so many reviews. Second, let me apologize if you found this chapter a bit lacking in comparison. It was originally to be two or three times this length, but I ended up deciding to split off the second half since it was a lot more in-depth and was substantially different from this chapter. It was a difficult decision, and I can only hope I made the right choice. The good news is that I've already written a substantial portion of the next chapter, and it should be out sooner than usual. Thanks again to all who have read, reviewed, or favorited this story! Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter Three_

The rest of the day was relatively uneventful for Toushiro. There was no homework or rigorous studies assigned to him, and after getting home, he didn't think much about school. He went about the rest of his day as he would normally. Someone observing would not even have noticed that this was his first day at a new school.

The next day, Toushiro arrived at school early. He wanted to be able to find his class and get himself organized and prepared. When he walked into school, he pulled out his class schedule and took a close look. His first class was biology, which according to the school map he had been given was in the fourth room of the 200's hall – room 204. To Toushiro's satisfaction, this happened to be one of the nearest classrooms to the entrance. According to the map, the school was divided into five halls, not including the two main halls that connected them. The 100s hall held math classes, the 200s held science classes, the 300s and 400s were on the second floor and contained rooms for english, writing, history, social studies, and foreign languages, and the rest of the classes were either in the 500s hall or scattered elsewhere throughout the building.

Toushiro took his time during the short walk from the entrance to his first class. He was nearly twenty minutes early, and there were very few other students present. Occasionally he would hear a door open or a few students talking in the distance, but the main sound was that of his footsteps echoing throughout the empty halls. In no time at all, he had arrived at the doors of the class. He reached forward and opened the door.

The room was a fairly large one. There were counters with sinks and drawers against most of the walls, probably for class projects and experiments. At the front was a whiteboard and a large desk for the teacher. Arranged in rows were black tables with chairs next to them. At the table in the front row on the far right side was the only other student in class, a girl with dark brown hair tied up in a bun.

It took a moment to recognize her, but when Toushiro did, he immediately went over to her, for reasons that he himself did not fully understand. She sat hunched over something, and didn't even notice him when he was right next to her.

"Hey," he said. She jumped a little and looked up at him. Toushiro felt a strange feeling as he looked at her. Her face was gentle and kind, but also sad. When she did not respond to him, he spoke again. "You're that girl from yesterday, right? Momo?" Momo nodded slowly.

"Y-yes, that was me," she said quietly.

"What are you doing?" he asked, noticing that she seemed to be trying to cover up something. Momo reluctantly shifted her body to reveal that there was a small gerbil in her cupped hands.

"He's the class pet," she explained, "I come in to spend time with him every morning."

"What's his name?" Toushiro asked. Momo pointed to an empty cage nearby that had a little notecard with the word 'Meatloaf' written on it.

"Meatloaf? That's his name?" Toushiro said. Momo nodded. Toushiro sat down next to her, feeling oddly comfortable around her. He usually wasn't particularly social, and wasn't one to approach others, but for some reason wanted to sit next to this girl. Maybe it was just curiosity of her strange demeanor, but there was definitely something about this girl that made him want to reach out to her.

"So what classes do you have?" Toushiro asked. Momo seemed to hesitate for a moment before speaking.

"I have Biology, art, gym, English, and an online geography course," she said, gently stroking Meatloaf the gerbil as she spoke.

"Is your english class fourth period? That's when mine is too. We might end up in the same class," Toushiro said.

"Maybe," Momo said quietly. Toushiro wasn't sure why, but he wanted Momo to talk more. He wasn't a talkative person, and in fact rather disliked talking and being talked to, but for some reason he wanted to hear Momo's voice. He doubted that this was her true personality, and was curious to see what she was really like.

"So you like art?" Toushiro said, trying to make conversation (admittedly not his strong point).

"Yeah, I like art," Momo said.

"What kinds of art?" Toushiro asked.

"Drawing and painting mainly," Momo said, "It…makes me feel like I'm leaving behind a record of my existence…"

"What?" Toushiro asked, unsure what she meant.

"Nothing…" Momo said.

Just then the bell rang, and Momo stood up.

"That's the first bell, it means that class will start in five minutes. Pretty soon people will come flooding in here," she said, walking over to Meatloaf's cage and putting the gerbil back inside. She went back to her seat, giving Toushiro a sideways glance.

"You might want to sit somewhere else," she said, "Associating yourself with me won't make you very popular at this school."

"I'm comfortable where I am," Toushiro said dismissively. Momo looked at him with a combination of amazement, confusion, and happiness before quickly turning away to get out her binder for class.

Class quickly filled up. Students walked in and took their seats. A few people glanced at Toushiro and whispered to their friends while pointing, but most simply ignored him. He was used to this sort of treatment. He had been told that he was as cold as ice. He thought that this was an unfair assessment. He was quiet and not particularly social, sure, but he didn't think he was particularly cold. Or perhaps he was, he didn't really know. In any case, there weren't many people who approached him because of this perception.

"So we meet again, Toushiro," someone said from behind him. He turned to see Miyone sitting in the seat directly behind him.

"Oh, hello," he said. Miyone had already taken out all of the relevant papers and binders for this class

After several minutes, a spectacled woman with frizzy blond hair walked into the room, just as the bell signaling the beginning of class rang.

"Good morning class!" she said, "As some of you have noticed, we have a new student joining us! I hope everyone will give a warm greeting to Toushiro Hitsugaya!" She was rather enthusiastic in her delivery, and Toushiro felt a bit embarassed. The other students weren't nearly as excited over the new student as the teacher, Mrs. Razzashack according to his schedule,was.

"Okay, now we all have our worksheets filled out from last time, right? Toushiro, you'll just share with your partner. Anyways, now to begin our experiment. Last night, I left some eggs, both hardboiled and regular, in a solution that dissolved the shells while leaving the membranes intact. We're going to use these to study cell structure." She walked over to a storage closet and opened it. A pungeant smell immediately filled the room, causing Toushiro's eyes to water. Mrs. Razzashack wheeled out a rolling table with several tubs containing a solution with numerous shell-less eggs inside. The egg yolks were kept intact by the membranes around them, but the shells were completely gone.

Momo suddenly raised her hand. Mrs. Razzashack walked over to her, and Momo hurriedly stood up and whispered something in her ear. The teacher nodded quietly.

"All right, go ahead," she said. Momo grabbed her bag and binders and nervously left the room.

"Since Momo's gone, Toushiro will need a new partner," Mrs. Razzashack said, "Miyone, would you care to fill in?"

"Sure, whatever," Miyone said, getting up and moving to the seat next to Toushiro.

"Very well then! The instructions for this project are on your worksheets! Everyone remember to take careful notes! You may begin!"

Everyone immediately stood up and went to get an egg and other equipment. The eggs were carefully handled with spoons, and everybody was careful not to rupture then. Miyone was among the first back, holding several beakers, measuring instruments, and of course the eggs.

"Okay Toushiro, here is what we're going to do. The point of this lesson is to demonstrate cell osmosis. We'll put several eggs into different liquids and measure their before and after weights. Do you understand? Here's the sheet explaining it in detail. Okay, let's start."

Toushiro and Miyone worked together on the project. They made careful measurements and were always certain to take notes. They worked well together. Miyone was quite intelligent, and had a similar persoality to Toushiro. Neither was particularly talkative, but they soon found themselves talking about their everyday lives. Toushiro learned that Miyone had several younger siblings and that her parents had separated when she was young, and didn't pay much attention to her gifts. She worked herself extra hard in hopes of eventually becoming not only more successful than her parents, but successful enough to completely overshadow them in every aspect. Toushiro in turn told her about himself, how his parents were wealthy and seldom payed much attention to him or his needs.

"That's too bad. So is that why you're so cold all the time?" she asked.

"You know, people keep saying that, but I don't really think I am cold," Toushiro said.

"Well maybe that's just how you act. I know I act kind of cold towards others at times. It's as if we all have two personalities, the one we see and the one others see. Which is the 'correct' one is anybody's guess," Miyone said.

"Yeah, I guess so. Like that Momo girl, I have a feeling that she's a lot less introverted than she acts," Toushiro said.

"I don't know about that. Momo Hinamori has always been trouble around here. If it is masking another personality, it's probably worse than the one she displays right now," Miyone replied.

"What do you mean?" Toushiro asked, "She seemed pretty gentle to me. In fact, she seems downright timid. Do you know why she's like that?" Miyone sighed.

"Well, I guess part of it is that she gets picked on a lot. Other kids are always making fun of her and bullying her. It would make you sympathetic towards her, if not for the fact that she does nothing to stop it. She never stands up for herself, and every time someone reaches out to her in sympathy, she turns them away. It's as if she specifically desires not to have any friends. It's difficult to like somebody who's that way. Plus she abuses the system constantly," she said.

"What do you mean by 'abuses the system'?" Toushiro asked.

"I don't know the details, but she was placed in the special education program and is granted all sorts of special 'accomodation'. I don't know what they officially have her in there for, but I just know that she doesn't have any mental disabilities. She's just antisocial and refuses to be friends with anyone and is using that as an excuse to get priviledged treatment."

"Maybe you're being to quick to judge," Toushiro suggested, "She might have some sort of disability we don't know about."

"I wish that were the case, but no. I have two brothers with autism. One is high-functioning with social difficulties and the other is barely able to perform all but the simplest tasks without help. I've seen the difficulties they've faced, along with the difficulties of others with similar problems, and I know that she doesn't have any disabilities. She might be stupid and anti-social, but those aren't disabilities, and the fact that she uses a system designed to help people with actual problems for her own gain sickens me. I don't join in on those tormenting her, but neither do I feel much sympathy for her. Think back: what did you think when she just left like it was no big deal? She was supposed to be your partner and she ran off without consideration. Surely that must have been off-putting. What thoughts went through your head when she did that?" Toushiro shifted uncomfortably at this question.

"Um, well in all honesty, I actually thought that it was a, well, 'personal' issue," he said awkwardly. Miyone stared at him blankly, making Toushiro groan. "You know…don't make me say it! A…_women's_ personal issue." Miyone rolled her eyes.

"No, it wasn't _that._ I've been around her too long to think that. She was just using special priviledges to get out of work," Miyone said.

"I don't think she'd do that," Toushiro said.

"Why? What do you know about her?" Miyone asked. Toushiro thought about this. It was true, he didn't really know anything about Momo. For all he knew, Miyone's accusations could be true. He didn't believe they were though. Something about Momo made Toushiro believe that she wouldn't do something like that.

"I don't know, I'm just saying that I'm going to give her a chance," he finally said, "There might be a rational explanation to all of this, and I don't want to rush to judgement."

"Whatever you say, Toushiro," Miyone said.

---

When the class was finished, Momo was still nowhere to be seen. Toushiro tried not to pay much attention to it as he left for his next class. His next two classes would have been uneventful if not for the unusual fascination others had with him. A lot seemed intimidated by his alleged cold attitude, but others (mainly girls) thought it was really cool. They flocked around him, and no matter how indifferent he acted towards them, they wouldn't go away. They fawned over what pretty hair he supposedly had and how cute he was. Toushiro adamantly declared that he was not 'cute' as he was a guy and guys were not cute, nor did they have pretty hair. Needless to say, the girls found this adorably hilarious.

One particularly creepy incident involved a girl from across the room who wrote on her eyelids "U R HAWT" which wouldn't have been so bad if she did not have a tattoo on her tongue saying "I STAWK U." Needless to say, Toushiro maintained his distance. He wished there were more girls like Miyone around. The other girls he encountered were either scared of him, enamored with him, or just plain crazy. He'd be fine if they were more like Miyone, or perhaps like Rukia. Hell, he'd even take the irritating Rangiku Matsumoto over these people. Anything was better than this! By the time class was over, several girls had already snipped away several bits of his hair, squealing in delight as he tried to chase after them. He was very greatful to leave.

Lunch was next. He had packed his own lunch, and didn't need to worry about standing in line, so he took his time to get to the cafeteria. When he was there, he looked for Miyone, as she was the closest thing to a friend he had at this new school. Despite scanning the large room however, he couldn't find her, and thus sat down at an empty table. Before he could even open his lunch bag however, something large and soft hit his head from behind and a pair of hands covered his eyes.

"Guess who!" a cheerful voice said. Toushiro growled and swatted away the hands.

"Go away," he said shortly.

"No way! I'm here to invite you to the table my friends and I sit at!" Rangiku Matsumoto said.

"Thanks, but I'll pass," Toushiro said grumpily. Rangiku paid no attention to this however, and grabbed his hands and dragged him away.

"Come on, you'll love it!" she said insistently.

"Leggo!" he grunted, struggling to get away from her with little success.

"Oh don't be shy, they're all happy to meet you! Here we are!" she stopped in front of a table, "Here, let me help you." She roughly put Toushiro into the chair, evidently under the impression that he couldn't get into the chair himself. He glared at Rangiku, who continued to smile as if there was nothing wrong at all with this.

"Okay Toushiro, here are your new friends! Meet Orihime Inoue, Mahana Natsui, Chizuru Honsho, and Michiru Ogawa! You already know Rukia and myself of course, so we all know eachother perfectly! Isnt it great to make new friends, Toushiro?"

Toushiro glared at Rangiku. The other girls at the table stared at him curiously, and he felt like he was under scrutiny. He shifted uncomfortably as everyone present continued to watch him without speaking. He wasn't particularly happy to be in this situation. He didn't know what these girls would be like, but if they were like the ones earlier, he was in trouble. He wished that there were at least a few male students present. It wasn't that he didn't like females, he would just prefer to meet some people of his own gender. Maybe later.

"So what did you pack for lunch?" Orihime finally said, breaking the silence.

"Bologna sandwiches and cubed watermelon," Toushiro said.

"Well that's no good! You have to have something better than that! How about I trade you something for one of those boring sandwiches?"

"Um, okay," Toushiro said, noticing too late that the girls behind her gesturing wildly and mouthing 'no'.

"Okie-dokie! Here is your new lunch!" Orihime snatched away one of his sandwiches and in its place put what looked like a slab of solidified puss.

"What…what on earth is this?" he asked, horrified by the mere sight of it.

"It's my specialty!" Orihime said, "I call it 'Jello Dinner' though you can eat it at any time! I make it by grinding up eggs, steak, and beets in a blender until its liquified, then I put it into a lemon Jello mix, and let nature take its course! I add a few extra ingredients to make it hold together! Go ahead and dig in!" Toushiro glanced at her expectant face and internally groaned. He picked up the disgusting thing and took a small bite.

He nearly gagged. Eggs, Steak, and even beets may be fine on their own, but when pureed and put in a Jello mix, they became nothing short of an abomination. The flavor was disgusting and harsh, but even worse was the texture. It was tougher than ordinary Jello, not to mention extremely slimy. It may have been the most disgusting thing he had ever eaten, and his eyes watered as he swallowed it. He looked up at Orihime, who was looking at him expectantly.

"It…it's good!" he said with a forced smile, "In fact, it's so good that I don't feel right eating it in front of its maker. You'd better take it back, that was a totally unfair trade for you."

"Aw, you're so sweet!" Orihime said, "You see Michiru, he's not scary at all!" Michiru blushed in embarassment.

"I didn't say he was scary," she said awkwardly.

"Yeah you did! You said he had a scary face and you didn't want to go near him!" Mahana said.

"I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it," Rukia commented with a look that clearly said 'shut up, he's right there!'

"Am I really that intimidating?" Toushiro asked, "Half of everybody I meet seems to think that I'm always cold and intimidating."

"Oh no, of course not!" Rukia said, "I mean, you do have a bit of a cold personality, but you're not mean or anything."

"Yeah, you just need to work on your social skills a bit!" Rangiku said, "I bet you could make a lot of friends if you tried!"

"I don't want a lot of friends. I want a few good friends," Toushiro said.

"Would that category include us?" Rangiku asked.

"I dunno, I only just met you," Toushiro said dismissively, "The only person right now that I could even possibly consider a friend is Miyone."

"Her?" Chizuru said in surprise, "Why do you like her?"

"She's smart and she doesn't act weird around me," Toushiro said.

"Ooh! You have a crush on her don't you?" Mahana said excitedly.

"What? No of course not!" Toushiro said indignantly, "She's just a person I met who I'm friendly with. In twenty minutes, I'll have known her for exactly one day. I don't get crushes on people that quickly. I mean at all! I don't get crushes at all!"

"Whatever you say," Mahane said dismissively.

"I don't see what you could like in her. She's not that hot, and she's kind of a snob at times," Chizuru said, "You could do better than that. Even I can tell that you're a catch. If I were a man I'd totally go out with you!"

"Um, thanks…" Toushiro said awkwardly.

Suddenly there was a loud clunk followed by a collective gasp and then laughter by many in the cafeteria. Toushiro looked over and saw that Momo Hinamori was covered in food, her lunch tray lying on the floor. The laughter was present throughout the room, and it made Toushiro sick.

"I saw that, they did that to her on purpose," Rangiku muttered. They watched as Momo hurriedly grabbed her bag and ran towards the door so that she could go to the bathroom and wash herself off. Before she could get out though, a lanky boy with a buzz-cut blocked the way.

"Whoop! You forgot to pay the toll! You've got to pay the toll to get out of here!" he said, spreading out his arms and legs and shuffling around in front of her. Momo tried to get around, but he kept blocking her.

"Come on, pay the toll!" he said mockingly. Toushiro clenched his fist.

"What an idiot. Why doesn't anyone stop him?" he asked.

"Nobody wants to be associated with her," Rangiku explained, "Even the people who don't torment her won't help. They don't want to become a target."

"Besides, it wouldn't do much good," Rukia said, "She doesn't accept help from others, and when people try, she just ends up getting hurt more. If you tell them to stop, it will just remind them to torment her a bit more. If you try to stop them, they'll just be worse to her. There's not much that can be done for her until she begins standing up for herself."

Toushiro watched as Momo continued to try to get around the boy blocking her way. Finally running off to the other door in tears and leaving the people behind laughing.

---

The next class for Toushiro was English. The memory of the torment Momo endured was still fresh in his mind, and he hoped to talk to her in class. When he arrived however, she was not there. He took the same seat he took the previous day, and was happy to see Miyone sitting next to it.

"Hello Toushiro," she said.

"Hey Miyone. Where were you at lunch? I didn't see you," he said.

"I always eat my lunch quickly and leave. I hate all of the noise and commotion in cafeterias," she said.

"Yeah, it can get pretty nasty in there," Toushiro said.

They remained in their seats until the bell rang. The teacher arrived shortly after and promptly began their lesson. It was slow paced, and rather boring for Toushiro. He couldn't help but notice that Momo had not shown up yet. She had said that she had English class this period, hadn't she? Maybe she had it with another teacher or something.

As he thought this however, the door opened and Momo Hinamori walked in, the front of her shirt damp. She walked over and handed the teacher a note before going to the back of the class to sit down. She was on the other side of the room, and Toushiro wouldn't be able to speak to her, but he noticed that her eyes were quite red.

Even as class went on, he still stared at Momo. He didn't know what it was. She wasn't extraordinary in appearance, but something about her drew his eye. Maybe it was pity. She obviously was bullied quite a bit, and if what others told him was true, didn't have any friends. He wasn't sure it was truly pity though. It was more akin to fascination. He wanted to know her better. He wanted to know what she was really like. He only had the briefest of encounters with her, and still knew almost nothing about her. For all he knew, she wasn't a very nice person at all, and had brought the torment upon herself. He didn't believe this though. When he had looked into her eyes earlier, he had seen a kind girl who was holding back her true nature for one reason or another. He wanted to stop the bullying so that he could perhaps see what she was really like. How he was not sure, but he wanted to make things better for the girl.

As he watched her, he noticed that she'd occasionally flinch and grimace. He didn't understand why at first, but then he saw what was going on. Several students around the room were ripping off tiny bits of paper, wadding them up, and throwing them at Momo. They were small, and the people doing it were subtle enough not to be notice by the teacher, but Toushiro could definitely see bits of paper being flung at Momo. He was suddenly filled with anger, and began to raise his hand to alert the teacher, but before he could, his wrist was grabbed.

"Don't," Miyone whispered, "If she's not willing to stand up for herself, others shouldn't do it for her."

"But…it's not fair that she has to put up with that!" Toushiro whispered back.

"I understand how you feel, but it won't do any good unless she's willing to stand up against them. She's not, so why should others do so with the knowledge that she will not thank them for it and that they themselves will just become additional targets?"

"She doesn't deserve this…" Toushiro murmured.

"Toushiro, Miyone is right," Rukia said from behind him, "It won't help her at all, it will just make it worse for her and yourself."

"Excuse me! Would you three care to have your discussion after class?" the teacher suddenly said, provoking quiet laughs from around the class.

"We're sorry," the three of them said at once.

Toushiro watched Momo for the rest of the class. Not once did she even look at the people who were throwing the paper wads at her. Toushiro wondered how she could ignore such harassment. He knew that he personally couldn't do it.

He had hoped that he might be able to speak with her after class, but the instant the bell rang, she was the first one to leave the room, and Toushiro could not keep up with her. Sighing, Toushiro went on to his next class, computer science. As Rangiku had told him yesterday, it was a fairly boring class. Not horrible, but not very eventful. It was pretty much just following several training programs on the computer, with the teacher barely involved at all. There weren't many people in that class, so there wasn't much of an opportunity to meet new people.

He went to the computer lab where his class took place. There were three computer labs in the building, a small one for the math and sciences courses, a main lab for use by various classes, and one in a room above the school library for various purposes. The one that his class was in was the one above the library. It was up a small set of stairs and was divided by half a wall into two sections, A and B. His class was in lab B at the far end of the room.

When he arrived at the lab, he was surprised to see that Momo was there. He suddenly recalled what she had said earlier about having an online geography course, and realized that this must be the place she normally took it. An odd sense of excitement overcoming him, he walked down the row of computers to the one nearest Momo but still in lab B. He was lucky that she had sat so close to lab B and did so on this side of the room. She had earphones in and was looking at her computer screen. She paid no attention to him, apparently engrossed in what she was doing.

"Hello Momo," he said awkwardly. He wanted to talk to her, but he wasn't sure how best to greet her, seeing as they barely knew eachother. She didn't seem to have heard him, so he spoke again.

"Um, hi Momo," he said nervously, unsure what her reaction would be. Again, she didn't even acknowledge him.

"Momo?"

"I'm listening to a recorded lecture," she said quietly, "This is a regular class for me; I can't just chit-chat."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Toushiro said in embarassment.

He did not try to talk to her again, but he frequently glanced over at her. She sometimes did nothing, probably the times she was listening to recorded lectures, and other times she was typing or leaning in to read something. He felt slightly embarassed about watching her, but found it difficult to stop. He was even beginning to neglect his own work as he watched her.

Before he knew it, class was nearly over. Two minutes before the end of the school day, Momo took out the ear-phones and put them away, subsequently logging out of and turning off her computer. Toushiro did likewise, and when the bell rang, both stand up.

"Hey," he said to Momo before she could walk away. She turned around without speaking. Toushiro took a deep breath before speaking.

"I was wondering if you'd like to walk home with me," he said. Momo was quiet for a moment before shaking her head.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said.

"Why not?" Toushiro asked.

"Well I…It's just not."

"Come on, I just wanted to talk to you. I won't bother you," Toushiro said. Momo thought about it for a moment before sighing.

"I…suppose it couldn't hurt," she said. She turned and began walking out of the lab, with him following after her.

Numerous odd looks were given as they made their way out of the school. They had never seen Momo Hinamori with another person before. There were a few nasty comments thrown at them, but Momo just ignored them and kept walking. When they were out, she didn't go directly to the roads or sidewalks, but instead cut across a small patch of trees that apparently used to be a sports field.

"So how is your online class going," he said, trying to spark discussion.

"Fine," Momo said simply. Toushiro shifted uncomfortably, the awkward silence getting to him.

"It sure is a pain to have to transfer to a new school this late in the year. I wish my parents had waited until summer to move!" he said.

Momo didn't speak, leaving Toushiro feeling very awkward.

"Better yet, they could have waited until I had graduated to move. It's already nearly the end of Junior year, so it wouldn't be that long of a wait!"

Again, Momo ignored him, and he was left feeling both frustrated and uncomfortable. Usually it was others who started conversations for him. He felt weird being the more talkative one in a conversation.

"It's always a pain to have to get used to new people," he said, trying one last time to start conversation, "Everyone always says I'm 'just like ice' and that I'm so cold that they don't want to approach me. I guess I just have to work on the way I act towards others if I come off as such a cold person…"

"I don't think you're a cold person," Momo said quietly. Toushiro nearly jumped at the suddenness of the statement.

"What?" he asked in surprise.

"I said that I don't think you're a cold person. You definitely act cold towards others, but I can see right away that that is not the only aspect of your personality, not by a longshot. You just act a bit cold in reaction to others because you don't know how to act in any other way. You have a complex personality, but you're not as cold as you seem to think you are, I am sure of that," she said in her quiet, gentle voice.

"You…you really think that?" Toushiro asked, "Pretty much everyone seems to think that coldness is my entire personality. You really believe that it's not?" Momo shook her head silently.

"No. Acting cold towards others is a tendency for you, but it's not your personality. You're not a cold person," Momo said. These words made Toushiro feel happy. Other people had never treated him this way, at least not at first. He felt as if Momo somehow understood him better than he himself did.

"How can you say that with such certainty when you've only just met me?" he asked, half expecting her to say that she was just kidding at any moment. She didn't though, she just continued to look straight ahead. She didn't answer his question, but moments later spoke again.

"This is my house, you can go on now." They were standing in front of a rather ragged-looking house. It had once been painted white, but that paint had now peeled away. A beat up fence surrounded the yard, broken in several places and the yard was covered in weeds and vines.

"You live this close to the school?" Toushiro said, ignoring the run-down look of the place, "We've only been walking a few minutes!" Momo nodded silently before walking up to a gate and opening it.

"Well…goodbye then," she said, going through the gate and then up to the house, leaving Toushiro behind and deep in thought.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to Momo21, Merciless Ruby, Hinata-cutie, DW64, AznVKai, hitsuhinaeva, Kinaia, Ryuu117, liquidprince, kRyStAlt3aRz, and halliegirl for reviewing! Thank you so much! To clarify, since people are probably wondering, they're in their Junior year of High School right now. Momo is sixteen and Toushiro fifteen (I think I messed up the ages in one of the other chapters, I'll have to go back and fix that). The story is taking place in April at this point, so Momo's nearly seventeen since her birthday is in June. Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter Four_

Momo briskly walked into her house and to her couch, where she sat down and took a deep breath. Having Toushiro walk home with her was a very unusual experience, and made her feel odd. She had never associated with anyone like she had just done, so she supposed it made sense that she'd feel weird, but still…it was unusual. She could tell that Toushiro was taking an interest in her. He was probably curious about her or felt pity for her. This had happened in the past. New students would sometimes try to be friends with her, but she of course always turned them away. She couldn't make any friends, it would only bring pain to everyone involved.

Ginger the poodle walked up and jumped on the couch next to her. Momo stroked the dog's soft fur absentmindedly, thinking of Toushiro. She could tell that he was much more kind-hearted than he acted. The fact that he would try to befriend her despite her reputation at school thoroughly proved that. He was wasting his time however. Momo could not allow herself to be friends with him. It would be too painful when she eventually died. He would stop trying eventually. He would just come to the same conclusion everyone else had come to: that she was simply antisocial and undeserving of sympathy.

Momo wished that it were possible for her to make friends and live a normal life, but she knew she couldn't. She couldn't allow herself to grow attached to this world, not when death was so certain. She would love to be friends with Toushiro and others, but it simply wasn't possible. Her life consisted entirely of waiting to die. When she did die, she would leave nothing behind. She could die tomorrow or in three years, it wouldn't make a difference. She would die alone and leave this painful world behind.

Momo almost felt bitter towards Toushiro for trying to be her friend when she knew that making friends would only result in sadness when she had to say goodbye to them. It wasn't his fault, he didn't know, but it was still frustrating. She wondered what he was thinking when he walked home with her. None of the other people who had tried to befriend her had done anything like that. There was something different about Toushiro, something that made Momo inexplicably interested in him.

---

Toushiro leaned back in a comfortable chair and let out a long sigh. It had been an interesting day to say the least; far more interesting than the previous day. He glanced around the room lazily. It was a big house, large enough for a family of ten, but he was the only one present. His parents were off on business, as usual, leaving Toushiro alone in the huge house. There wasn't really much to do. He didn't have very many hobbies and didn't know enough about the town to do anything outside the house. It was very boring, and he found himself thinking about his new school to pass the time.

It was a nice school. The teachers seemed decent enough and it was apparently well funded. Though he still felt like a bit of an outcast as he did at most new schools, at least this time he had made some acquaintances early. Matsumoto, Rukia and the others were a bit weird, but at least they were friendly towards him. He could already tell that Miyone would be a good friend. She was very similar to him, and they got along quite well. With them, he was able to ignore the people who shunned him for his unusual appearance and temperament, not to mention the girls who fawned over him.

What dominated his thoughts most however was Momo. Something about her made him constantly think about her. He wasn't sure why, but he felt himself drawn to her, and had the desire to protect her. She was an odd girl. She did nothing to interact with others and actively avoided social contact, yet Toushiro still got the feeling that she was a kind and caring person, despite what others said about her. Miyone obviously had a bad impression of her, but Toushiro could not bring himself to feel the same way. There was something intriguing about her. He wanted to know more about her.

He wondered what was coming over him. He had never been very social himself, yet here he was trying to reach out to another person. Usually it was others who did that to him. She had an odd effect on him, that was undeniable.

He tried to think about what made her so alluring. The best explanation he could think of was that her gentle and timid nature made him want to reach out and protect her. He felt bad for the abuse others directed at her, and felt the need to protect her. There was more than that though. He had a feeling that he had yet to see the real Momo. He wanted to see her smile and laugh. He wanted to see her face lit up with happiness. There was more to her than the withdrawn girl he had seen before, he just knew it.

He thought back to what she had said, about how she thought he wasn't cold at all. She was the first person to say such a thing to him. Everyone had always quickly labeled him cold, even those he was friendly with. Yet somehow Momo believed that this wasn't his true nature, that there was more to him than that. Hearing her say that made him happy. He wanted to make her happy in return. She would probably try to push him away, but he felt he had to try. He would help her, he promised himself.

---

Momo held Meatloaf in her cupped hands. The little gerbil crawled around as she stroked his fur. Momo liked playing with Meatloaf. He was a fragile creature, like herself in a way. It was easier for Momo to bond with him with this in mind.

"Good morning Momo."

Momo didn't look up, she knew immediately who it was.

"Good morning Toushiro," she replied. Toushiro took a seat next to her and took out his binder.

"So did you get all of your notes yesterday?" he asked.

"You were there, I would think you already know," Momo said bluntly. It had been like this for several days. Toushiro would seek her out and talk to her. He would walk home with her after school and attempt to socialize with her in the halls. Momo knew that Toushiro was neither a talkative nor a particularly social person, yet he was going out of his way to engage her in conversation. It made her feel awkward, frustrated, and worst of all, happy.

When Toushiro spoke to her, she would always feel a bit of joy alongside the irritation and awkwardness. Toushiro was the only person to spend this much time attempting to befriend her. Most who had tried in the past had swiftly been turned away by Momo's apparent disinterest. Toushiro didn't though. Despite Momo's seemingly unfriendly demeanor, Toushiro had not given up on trying to talk to her and befriending her. A part of her wanted to return his friendly gestures. She had been without friends for so long, she almost wanted to cling to him and never let go.

This scared Momo. She was not meant to be happy or to have friends. It was her destiny to die young, and didn't want her life to be happy when she knew with no uncertainty that she would soon lose it. She wished that Toushiro would leave her alone so that she would not have to deal with these confusing emotions.

"So how is meatloaf doing?" Toushiro asked.

"He's fine," Momo answered, "Though I have to say, you don't seem like the type of person who goes around asking about the state of gerbils."

"Hey, you're the one who said that you didn't think I was a cold person," he said with a small smile.

"I said that you're not an entirely cold person. It's still a part of your personality to be a bit cold and reserved towards others, even if your true nature is not like that. You are going out of your way to socialize and converse, which isn't like you. Why are you behaving in a way unlike your normal behavior?"

"I don't know, why are you acting like this when I can tell that at your core you are a friendly, sweet person?" Toushiro asked. Momo made a small noise of irritation.

"My business is my own," she said curtly. Just then the first bell rang, indicating that class would start in a few minutes, but Toushiro paid no attention to it.

"I want to be your friend Momo; I know that you want to be my friend as well," Toushiro said. Momo growled and stood up. She walked over to Meatloaf's cage and put the gerbil back before returning to her seat.

"Class will start soon. Stop talking to me. I'm so tired of this! It's for your own good. You're only going to attract ridicule if you associate with me. Just stop it. Go away, and forget you ever met me!" Momo said. They were quiet for a minute before Toushiro spoke.

"I'm sorry Momo, but I can't do that."

---

Momo walked into her next class, art. This was the only part of the school day that she actually enjoyed. She supposed it was because by painting and making art, she was leaving her mark on the world. Even after she died, her paintings would remain. This wasn't exactly a happy thought, but it at least made her feel satisfied.

"Good morning Momo," the art teacher, Mrs. Ragotsy said.

"Good morning," Momo said with a rare smile. Mrs. Ragotsy was one of the few people she really trusted. It was probably just because she was teacher of her favorite class, but Momo felt more comfortable around her than she did with most other teachers.

Momo went over to her regular seat and placed her backpack on the ground next to it. She went over to grab an easel, and took it back to her seat. She went around the room, gathering the tools and materials she needed: a palette, paints, paintbrushes, rags and cups of water for cleaning the brushes, and an apron to keep her clothes clean. As other students arrived, they did the same. This was a rather informal class. There were occasionally lectures, but mostly it consisted of just painting.

By the time the bell rang, Momo had retrieved the final necessary object: the canvas that she was painting on. She was painting an image of Mount Kilimanjaro from Tanzania, Africa. It featured a flat plain with giraffes grazing in the foreground, while in the background the massive mountain loomed over them. She had found a picture of the mountain in an old National Geographic, and knew right away that she wanted to paint a picture of it. She was painting with acrylics, as the fumes from oil paints made her nauseous. Her painting was already progressing nicely. The mountain and sky had been largely completed, and she was now working on the vegetation in the foreground. When she was done with that, she would add details like the ridges and glaciers to the mountain. She had a feeling that this would be one of her best paintings yet.

"Hello Momo," somebody said from behind her. Momo nearly jumped, and turned around to see Miyone sitting down in the seat next to her, setting down her own painting supplies.

"H-hello Miyone," Momo said nervously. Miyone was in this class, but she normally sat on the other side of the room, so Momo didn't interact with her much. "That…that's a nice painting," she said, trying to compliment her.

"Yes, I suppose it is. Nowhere near as majestic as yours though," she said, setting her painting of a flower garden on an easel, "I'm not interested in talking about art though. I have a few things to say to you about Toushiro."

"What…what sort of things?" Momo asked.

"Well for starters, I thought I'd tell you to start being more appreciative towards him," Miyone said icily.

"I…I don't know what you mean," Momo said.

"Yes, that is fairly obvious," Miyone said, "Let me spell it out for you. Toushiro believes that if he's nice enough to you, you'll start acting friendly and kind. He doesn't realize that you're just an anti-social bitch who uses the fact that others make fun of you to act the way you do. You never even try to defend yourself or live a normal life. I imagine you pity yourself every day, but don't expect others to do the same. I don't see why he has any sympathy for you, but the fact remains that he does, and you should be a bit more grateful to him for that. Toushiro deserves better than you, but as long as he is trying to reach out to you, it would be a wise move for you to actually respond. Do you understand me?"

Momo remained silent, unsure how to respond.

"I asked you a question! Do you understand me?" Miyone said harshly.

"Yes…I understand you," Momo said quietly.

Miyone glared at her before turning her attention back to her own painting, leaving Momo to think of what she said.

---

Toushiro sat down at the lunch table. The others were already present and eating their lunch.

"Oh good, you're here!" Rangiku said, "I have an important question for you Toushiro. What color turns boys on more: lime green or lavender?"

"How should I know?" Toushiro asked grumpily.

"Well you're a guy, I assumed that you'd know," she said.

"I thought that having a guy sitting with us would give us an insight into a male's mind, but this guy doesn't have a clue," Mahana complained.

"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll be glad we took him in sooner or later," Orihime said, "It's only a matter of time until our investment pays off.

"Oh, so you invited me to your table just so you could ask me about boys, is that it?" Toushiro said dryly.

"Oh no, that's not it at all!" Rangiku hurriedly said, "That's just a bonus! I invited you over here because you looked interesting and I thought you could use some friends! Besides, even if you can't tell us much about guys, we still know plenty of things about girls that you'd probably find useful."

"I don't want to hear them," Toushiro said promptly.

"Oh? You're not at all interested in girls?" Rangiku asked slyly.

"Not obsessively so," Toushiro said.

"So who are you taking to the dance?" Rangiku asked, ignoring his previous statement.

"What dance?" Toushiro asked. The girls looked at him, completely flabbergasted.

"What dance? The Spring Formal Dance of course! It's in just a few weeks! It's a really nice formal dance where you dress up and stuff!" Orihime said.

"It's really nice and romantic," Michiru elaborated.

"Everyone who can is going," Chizuru explained further.

"So now that you know about it, who are you going to take?" Rangiku asked, "Miyone or Momo?"

"What? Neither! What makes you think I'd take either of them to a dance?" Toushiro said in annoyance.

"Well you're always hanging out with Miyone and you seem to have unusual interest in Momo, so I assumed that you had the hots for at least one of them. Maybe both," Rangiku said.

"Hey yeah, that's a good idea!" Chizuru said, "Go out with both of them and then have them make out with eachother while you watch. Oh man, I would love to see that!"

"I think he'd look cute with either of them, but Momo would work better because she's closer to his height," Orihime said.

"I don't know, they're both taller than him, so height shouldn't really be a deciding factor," Tatsuki said.

"Well what is then?" Chizuru asked, "Their boobs are about the same size, though I suspect Miyone's are a little bigger but look smaller because she's taller than Momo."

"Momo has a cuter face though," Rangiku said.

"But Miyone has longer hair," Michiru said.

"Get a look at their legs the next time you see them so we can compare those," Rangiku suggested.

"Already done. Miyone's legs are longer and hotter but Momo's thighs are cuter and she has a better butt," Chizuru said.

"Well I guess that settles that. What about voice? Which one has a nicer voice?" Orihime asked.

"Oh, definitely Momo. Miyone's voice always makes me feel like I'm being lectured by a teacher," Rangiku said.

"Yeah, I agree," Chizuru said.

"You have that right."

"Totally."

Toushiro, who had been trying to ignore them, could not take this any longer.

"Shut up! I'm not interested in either of them! Miyone is just a good friend and an intellectually stimulating person to talk to, and I barely even know Momo, I just want to find out more about her. I'm not going to go out with either of them, let alone take them to a dance!" he said.

"Whatever you say," Rangiku said, "So guys, did you see that one show last night? The one on Channel Eight? I forgot the name, but it had this girl, and um…um…"

"Oh, I saw that!" Orihime piped up, "You mean that one where…"

Toushiro listened as they chattered away. They frequently changed subjects, and whenever they asked him something, he would only give a non-committal grunt.

As he idly listened to them chatting, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. Momo was sitting at a table across the room, surrounded by several people who were laughing. Clenching his fist, he stood up.

"Hey Toushiro, where are you going?" Rangiku asked. Toushiro did not answer and walked away, heading towards the table where Momo was sitting.

As he approached, he saw what was going on. Two boys and four girls were sitting and standing around the table where Momo ate. Some were throwing bits of food and crumpled up napkins at her while their friends snickered. They would insult her and laugh at her. She didn't react to them though. She continued to quietly eat without even flinching as they threw things at her and insulted her. This made Toushiro extremely angry. There was a lanky boy standing next to her who particularly made him mad. He would tip over Momo's water bottle, and Momo would set it back upright, only for him to tip it over again.

Toushiro walked over and jabbed the boy in the shoulder with his fingers.

"What are you doing?" he asked coldly.

"Oh, hey man," he said stupidly, "We're just goofing off. What's your name? I'm Blake. Hey, do you want to play around too?"

"No, I don't," Toushiro said, his voice deadly cold. Another boy walked around from the other side of the table.

"Are you here to defend her or something?" he asked quietly.

"And what if I am?" Toushiro asked, glaring back at him.

"This girl doesn't need or want your help. She's just a worthless waste of oxygen. She doesn't belong in this school. She deserves everything she gets," he said.

"Funny you should say that, because you're going to deserve everything you get," Toushiro said.

"Hey guys, calm down!" Blake said, putting his hands on their shoulders, "There's no reason to be so serious! Codi, don't be so weird, it's all in good fun!" The boy named Codi glared at Toushiro before backing off a bit. Toushiro didn't move though, and Blake gave him a boisterous slap on the back.

"Come on man, don't take everything so seriously! We're just goofing around! She doesn't even mind!" he reached over and knocked over Momo's water bottle. She silently set it back up without even acknowledging him. He knocked it over again and she picked it back up.

"Stop that," Toushiro ordered.

"It's no big deal man, she likes it!" Blake knocked it over again for Momo to pick up.

"I said stop it," Toushiro said dangerously.

"She likes it! See, she doesn't even-"

As he reached to knock over Momo's water bottle again, Toushiro's fist collided with his jaw. Almost as soon as he did this, Codi attacked Toushiro, tackling him to the ground. Toushiro and Codi scuffled on the ground as all eyes in the cafeteria seemed to turn to them. Momo stared in shock at the two fighting on the ground and, without thinking, grabbed her lunch tray and began hitting Codi over the head with it.

Within seconds, teachers were already rushing over to break the three of them up.

---

Momo and Toushiro sat before Vice-Principal O'Neil. They had just told their side of the story. The others involved were being questioned by Principal Kuhlman. Mr. O'Neil was looking at them tentatively.

"I see," he said.

"It was their fault sir, they were the ones who were tormenting her. I couldn't just let it go on," Toushiro said. Momo looked away, her face red with embarrassment and shame.

"Did you think that violence would solve anything?" O'Neil asked.

"I wasn't thinking at all at the time," Toushiro admitted.

"And you Momo, why didn't you tell someone from the faculty that those people were bullying you? We're here to help you, but we can't do anything unless you tell us," O'Neil said to Momo.

"I don't know," Momo mumbled, "I don't want to attract more attention."

"If you allow us to help, we can help you," O'Neil said, "I know it's hard to be picked on. When I was your age, kids picked on me for being short all the time, but if you just lie back and let them, they won't stop."

"I'm sorry sir," Toushiro said, "I let my emotions get the better of me and I lashed out when I should have talked to a teacher."

"I'm glad you realize that, but you realize that I can't just let you two go, right?" O'Neil said. Momo and Toushiro nodded.

"I'm going to give you both three days suspension. Due to circumstances, I will make it at-home suspension rather than in-house, but don't interpret that as me bending the rules for you two. I know it wasn't really your fault, but it's my job to discipline you for this."

"Yes sir, I understand," Momo said quietly.

"Understood sir," Toushiro said.

---

Toushiro sat in a comfortable chair, staring into space. After they had been given the details of their suspension, they had been sent home. It was now nearly six o'clock, but Toushiro wasn't feeling very hungry for dinner. He was too busy thinking about the day's events. Toushiro was embarrassed that he had lashed out in such a way, but at the same time did not regret it. Those people had been tormenting Momo for absolutely no reason. They deserved to be hit.

Just then the doorbell rang. Toushiro stood up and walked over. He opened the door to see Miyone standing there with her arms crossed.

"Miyone?"

"Toushiro, I have a few things to say to you."

"Um, sure, come in," Toushiro said, inviting her in, "So what did you want to say to me?"

"Well for starters: What the hell were you thinking?!" Miyone said loudly.

"I…I don't…" Toushiro stuttered.

"You could have gotten hurt, you got yourself suspended, your permanent record is now marked by this, your reputation will be marred by this, you'll be missing three days of school, and for what? A girl who doesn't even bother to stand up for herself! This is why I told you to stay away from her. Associating with Momo Hinamori will only lead to trouble."

"I couldn't just let them continue harassing her," Toushiro said.

"So you get into a fight? Toushiro, that's not like you! This isn't like you at all! I may have only known you for a short time, but I know that this isn't your normal behavior. You're behaving irrationally around her!" Miyone said.

"I suppose you're right," Toushiro mused, "But I feel like I can't stop now."

"Why not?" Miyone said in exasperation, "That girl isn't worth your time Toushiro. I know you think that you want to help her out but she's beyond help! She's a miserable, pathetic excuse for a person! She'll never accept your attempts to befriend her. You're only going to end up getting hurt if you keep this up!"

"That might be true," Toushiro said, "But like I said before, I can't stop now."

"But why not? Why can't you stop?" Miyone asked.

"Because I already decided that I would I want to see what she's really like. I want to know more about her. There's something about her that makes me…I don't know. I suppose it might just be me being stubborn, but even if that's all this is, I still want to keep trying. When I set my mind to something, I intend to accomplish it. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Miyone sighed, "I just don't want to see this sort of thing happen to you. At least you're handling it well. Codi has been crying all afternoon when he found out he'd spend five days in in-house suspension."

"How do you know that?" Toushiro said in surprise.

"Codi is my brother," Miyone explained.

"Your brother? Oh man, I…I'm uh…"

"Don't worry about it, you don't have to apologize," Miyone said, "It was his own fault. Well, mine too. Codi probably picked up on the fact that I'm not very fond of Momo and began picking on her himself. I already yelled at him plenty for it. He's smart, but he has a lot of social difficulties. He gets picked on a lot, and sometimes he ends up directing his anger towards others. It's sort of a vicious circle. I told him off, so hopefully he won't do it again. He still doesn't like Momo, but I told him that the best thing to do is to just ignore her."

"I see…" Toushiro said.

"I'm sorry if my view on things is offending you, but I really don't like that girl. I don't want to bully her myself, nor do I want to see my brother bullying her, but I honestly do not like that girl."

"That's okay, you have a right to your opinion," Toushiro said. Miyone sighed.

"Look, if you really want to befriend her, now might be a good time. She's probably going to be more receptive to whatever you have to say now than at a different time," she said.

"You're giving me advice?"

"Hey, the sooner you get this mess settled, the better. I think you'll eventually reach the same conclusion about her that I did, and it might as well happen sooner than later."

"I don't think I will, but thanks for the advice," Toushiro said with a small smile.

---

Momo stood in the kitchen in front of the stove, where a pot of noodles was boiling. It was eight o'clock, but she wasn't very hungry, and was cooking food for herself mainly out of habit. As she stirred the noodles, the doorbell rang. Grumbling to herself, she walked out of the kitchen and toward the door. When she opened the door to see Toushiro, she immediately tried to slam it shut. Toushiro put his hand out to stop it from shutting though.

"Momo, listen to me," he said.

"Go away," Momo said, "I don't want to talk to you."

"I just want to talk," he said. Momo growled. She was angry at Toushiro. Because of him, she had gotten suspended, not to mention the fact that those bullies would probably be worse to her than ever now. She then remembered something though. She recalled what Miyone had said about Toushiro really wanting to reach out to her. After a moment of internal debate, she grumbled to herself and opened the door.

"Thank you," Toushiro said.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Momo asked.

"I…" Toushiro trailed off. He had been so worried about how he would get her to let him talk to her that he had neglected to consider what he would actually talk about.

"That's what I thought," Momo said, noting his silence, "Sit down on the couch. I'm making noodles. I put in too much for myself anyways."

Momo went back to the kitchen to finish the noodles. She didn't know why she had allowed Toushiro into her house. She supposed he would leave eventually, but she still regretted the decision to let him in.

When she was done cooking, she put the noodles into two bowls and took them out. When she entered the living room, she saw that Toushiro was scratching Ginger behind the ear.

"Is this your dog?" he asked.

"No, she's my neighbor's dog. I just stole her," Momo said sarcastically.

"Well your neighbor has a very cute dog then," Toushiro said with a small smirk. Momo grumbled as she handed him the noodles. She was trying to push him away, but he didn't seem to get offended no matter what she said. She hated having to be rude, but she wanted Toushiro to leave her alone.

Momo watched as Toushiro ate his noodles while she slowly nibbled on her own. Neither of them said a word, they just watched eachother quietly. When Toushiro finished, he smiled and set the bowl down.

"That was very good Momo," he said. Momo didn't even acknowledge him. She figured that was the best thing to do for now.

"Well, I'm personally feeling tired after a good meal like that," Toushiro said with a yawn.

"It's only eight-thirty!" Momo said.

"Yeah, but I like to get my rest. Do you mind if I lie down. Just for a minute of course," Toushiro said.

"Fine, whatever," Momo said. Toushiro mumbled his thanks before pulling a pillow up and lying down on the couch. She felt like Toushiro was intentionally trying to bug her. If her impression of him was correct, this wasn't the type of behavior that was normal for him. Then again, maybe it was just her imagination. She looked at Toushiro for a few minutes, thinking of asking him about it.

"Toushiro?" she finally said, her voice soft and gentle, unlike the harsher tone she had been using with him recently. Toushiro didn't move. "Toushiro?" Momo said again. Again there was no response. She walked over and realized that he was sleeping. She gave him a nudge but he didn't move. She groaned. This was just great, now she would have to deal with him even longer.

She went off to get a blanket, returning to put the blanket over him. She watched him as she peacefully slept. She let out a sigh. Why did Toushiro have to make her feel all of these confusing emotions? She reached out and stroked his bright white hair, marveling at the unusual color.

She yawned, suddenly feeling tired herself. She looked at Toushiro's peaceful face as he rested, feeling almost hypnotized. Without even realizing it, she had climbed onto the couch and snuggled up against Toushiro. He didn't wake, even though Momo was right next to him. She didn't know what she was thinking. She just wanted to rest with Toushiro. In her foggy mind, she told herself that this would only be for a minute. Soon it turned into two minutes. Then five minutes. Then ten minutes. Then the entire night.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to Hinata-cutie, kRyStAlt3aRz, AznVKai, liquidprince, hitsuhinaeva, Merciless Ruby, DW64, Momo21, halliegirl, Ryuu117, cookiedough, and Momo-Toushiro for reviewing! Please review!


	5. Chapter 5

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter Four_

Toushiro's eyes flickered open, his vision blurry. He felt a weight upon his chest, and after a moment of staring, he realized what it was. Momo was lying on his chest, sleeping peacefully. He stared at her for several moments. Her face was peaceful, with none of the sadness that normally dominated her face. His still sleepy mind vaguely noted that this was the closest he'd ever been to a girl.

She was thinner than he thought before. Her ribs stuck out a little, and she seemed…odd as she slept on him. She looked almost helpless as she slept there, her unhealthily thin body clinging to him. He absent-mindedly raised a hand and stroked a lock of her dark brown hair. From a distance, it looked almost black, but this close up he could see that it was a dark chocolate brown. His fingers trailed down and touched the smooth skin of her cheek.

Just then, Momo's eyes flickered open. Toushiro froze, suddenly realizing what he was doing. He quickly pulled his hand back, and hurriedly tried to think of something to say.

"I…I um…when I woke up you were already…I didn't…"he stuttered, trying to think of an appropriate thing to say. Momo didn't seem to pay much attention to this, simply standing up and quietly walking over to the kitchen. Toushiro stared at her in shock as she left. That certainly wasn't the reaction he had been expecting. He was certain that she would be angry at him, but she didn't even acknowledge him. After all, it wasn't exactly normal to wake up to find you've been sleeping on the couch with someone you barely knew.

Toushiro suddenly smacked himself in the head. He had slept in Momo's living room all night! He didn't even realize it for those first few minutes of being awake, but now the realization hit him with full force. He was incredibly embarrassed, and was glad that his parents were away on business, lest he have to explain to them why he had been sleeping at a girl's house. Not that they really would have cared, but it was still an embarrassing thought.

Momo walked back into the room, her facial expression unreadable.

"Would you like something to eat?" she asked quietly.

"Um, sure…" Toushiro said. He wasn't sure what exactly to say, and evidently, neither did Momo. Momo gestured for him to follow her into the kitchen/dining room. He followed her and sat down in a chair at the table. He watched as Momo pulled out several boxes of cereal and a milk jug, setting them out in front of her. She then retrieved two bowls and two spoons, bringing them to the table before sitting down herself. She poured a small amount of cereal into her own bowl and began eating.

Toushiro looked over the cereals that she had picked out. All three were rather bland varieties that he didn't particularly care for. He eventually settled on a bowl of Raisin Bran, filling his bowl with it and pouring milk over it. He ate quickly, as was his personal habit, and he finished at about the same time that Momo finished her small serving.

"Thank you," Toushiro said politely, "That was very good."

Momo did not respond. After she finished her own cereal, she took both of their bowls to the sink and rinsed them out, returning to take the milk and cereal back to their proper storage locations.

"Um, Momo?" Toushiro said. Momo turned to him without saying a word, and Toushiro cleared his throat as he nervously spoke, "Would you, um, if you don't have anything else planned that is, would you like to go around town with me?"

"Go around town?" Momo repeated.

"Yes, you know, just walk around town. I know you have some nice parks and a pleasant downtown area, so I figured that since we're both suspended, we'd might as well…" Toushiro said nervously. He did not know what compelled him to ask this. It felt as if he was behaving in a way beyond his usual control. He watched anxiously as Momo thought about it.

"I…don't think I can. I have…asthma, so I can't do much physical activity. Besides, I don't like going into town," she said.

"We'll walk slowly, so you don't need to worry about asthma," Toushiro said, "And if you're worried about running into kids from school, that's not a problem since everybody else is at school today. We'll be the only kids in town. Come on, I promise that nothing bad will happen."

Momo bit her lip and shifted uncomfortably, seeming unsure what to do. Toushiro watched her anxiously as she tried to decide what to do.

"Well…I guess I will…" she said reluctantly. Toushiro felt an uplifting feeling in his chest, like some great weight had been lifted from him.

"That's great!" he said, uncharacteristically happy, "Come on, let's get going now, I'd like to see as much of town as possible."

"I think I'd rather take a shower first," Momo said.

"Oh…right. Okay, after that we'll go," Toushiro said.

---

After Momo had taken her shower and readied herself, they left. The streets were quite empty, and there weren't many people around. The town they were in, Brady, was not large. It was built around a small lake, Dawn Lake, which was originally a creek that was dammed up.

"So would you like to lead the way? You're more familiar with town than me," Toushiro said.

"No, not really. I almost never leave my house. I only know the way to the grocery store and library," Momo said.

"Well in that case, this will be a bit of an adventure for both of us," Toushiro reasoned, "Let's go over to main street. I'm sure there are some nice shops over there."

They walked slowly without talking much. Occasionally Toushiro would point out an interesting house or tree, and Momo would nod silently. It was rather awkward. Toushiro wasn't a very social person, yet that was how he acted around Momo. He supposed it was his subconscious desire to see her truly acting like her normal self, whatever that may be, that caused him to act in such a way. She stared at the ground as she walked, apparently trying to avoid Toushiro's gaze.

They eventually reached the town's main street, which had shops on both sides of the road. Toushiro led Momo into the first one that caught his eye. It was a small shop that had an assortment of decorative items, mainly little figurines. Momo half heartedly followed Toushiro as he walked around the store, looking at the various decorations.

"Look at this Momo," Toushiro said, picking up a snow globe with a blue dragon inside, "Pretty cool, huh?"

Momo was not paying attention however. She was by the counter, stroking an orange cat that apparently belonged to the shop owner. Toushiro sighed and put the snow globe back. He walked over to Momo, who continued to absentmindedly stroke the cat's thick orange fur.

"So did you want to go over to the next shop?" he asked.

"Sure, okay," Momo said quietly. She followed Toushiro out of the shop and into the next one.

"You like painting, right?" Toushiro asked. Momo nodded silently. "Well this store seems to have a lot of art stuff." It was true, this store did have a lot of arts and crafts. Momo seemed disinterested however, and it was only through Toushiro's urging that she went on at all.

"These look like nice brushes," Toushiro said, pointing to a row of paint brushes.

"These are cheap, mass-produced brushes. They're no good. Even if they were good, I already have plenty of brushes," Momo said.

"Okay…how about paints or canvasses?" Toushiro asked. Momo shook her head.

"I already have plenty of painting supplies. There is nothing here that is of any interest to me," Momo said.

Toushiro sighed, leading her out of the store and to the next one. They continued the process, going into a store, only for Momo to show no interest in anything and ending with Toushiro leading them out. This repeated until lunch, when they went to a small sandwich shop.

Both Momo and Toushiro ate their sandwiches quietly, not really looking at eachother. It was rather awkward, and neither of them knew what to say or do. Finally, Toushiro spoke.

"Is there _anything_ you'd like to do?" he asked wearily.

"No, nothing I can think of," she replied.

"Why are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like…this! You're always acting so sad and introverted! Why? I've been trying all day to make you happy. I don't like shopping or acting cheerful, but I've been doing it anyways in the hope that you'd start acting happy for once!" Toushiro said.

"If you don't like shopping or acting outgoing, then why did you invite me to do all that stuff?"

"Because I want to see you act normally. I know you're just suppressing yourself! I want to see you act normally. And if you didn't want to do anything, why did you accept my invitation?"

"I don't know. I guess because you probably wouldn't have left me alone until I agreed," Momo said.

"That's not it. I think you really want to act like your normal self, but you won't let yourself. I'll respect your privacy and not inquire further, but I know that you want to live a happy life," Toushiro said.

"Maybe you're wrong," Momo said, eating the last bits of her sandwich. Toushiro sighed.

"Maybe I am, but I don't think so," he said, "Come on, let's go to the park." He picked up his half-eaten submarine sandwich and walked out of the shop with Momo. They walked silently through the streets, not saying so much as a single word. The eventually made their way across town, towards a small park at the northern end of the lake. When they arrived there, there were no people, only ducks and geese.

"This place is nice, isn't it?" Toushiro said, trying to bring up conversation again.

"Yeah, I guess it is," Momo said dully. They walked around the park, observing the trees, the lakeshore, and the ducks. Toushiro noticed that one of the ducks was following him. He looked down at his still uneaten sandwich and tore off a piece, tossing it to the duck. The duck quickly gobbled it up, quacking happily.

"Hey Momo, look at that! The ducks like it!" Toushiro said. He tossed another piece of bread to the duck, and again it ate it immediately. Soon other ducks were swarming around them, quacking demandingly. Toushiro tore off pieces of bread, tossing them into the mass of ducks and watching them fight over it.

"Come on Momo, you try it," Toushiro said.

"No thanks," Momo said, though Toushiro noticed the tiniest hints of a smile on her face. He continued throwing pieces of sandwich at the ducks until he was down to a little sliver.

"Sorry guys, this bit is for me," he said with a laugh. The ducks did not seem to understand this however, as they swarmed around him, quacking demandingly. Some were nipping at his ankles.

"This part is mine! Not yours!" Toushiro yelled at them, shaking off a duck that had grabbed onto his pants and holding the sandwich above his head.

As he fought off the ducks however, he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Momo was smiling. It wasn't a fake smile, it was a real, genuine smile, and it was the most beautiful thing Toushiro had seen in his life. He could not help but smile himself.

"Hey ducks, you want this? You'll have to chase me!" he ran off from the ducks, with them following him and quacking angrily. Momo was now laughing, encouraging Toushiro to continue. The ducks kept following him around, their webbed feet furiously propelling their bodies forward as they chased after him. Toushiro turned his head while running, watching Momo smile and laugh. He felt incredibly happy right now, and he was filled with energy as he ran, the sandwich held high over his head.

Suddenly however, something large hit him. Toushiro staggered backwards as a large goose began attacking him, flying at him aggressively. He lost his balance and fell down, allowing the goose to pluck the remains of the sandwich from his hand and waddle away. Immediately after that, the ducks were upon him, and began nibbling and pecking at him, trying to find more food. After they were convinced that no more food was to be taken from the boy, they waddled off.

Toushiro grumbled to himself as he got back up, but smiled again when he saw Momo.

"Are you okay Toushiro?" she said, barely suppressing a giggle.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said.

"Would you like to take a walk? There's a path up ahead that goes through the woods," Momo said. Toushiro smiled as he looked at Momo's happy expression.

"Sure, I'd love to," he said, taking her hand and walking off towards the path.

Momo and Toushiro walked through the woods on the trail. Momo was much more friendly than before, pointing out interesting plants and birds and laughing as squirrels that scampered past. Toushiro was feeling extremely happy. This was the true Momo. He knew that if he dug deep enough, he would find that there was far more to Momo than first glance would indicate. She was now acting happy and outgoing, a far cry from the sad and introverted way she normally acted.

After they had walked the forest trail, they went back into town and got ice cream cones. Momo giggled as she ate her ice cream.

"You know, I haven't had ice cream since I was a little girl," she said, "I forgot how good it is."

"There are a lot of good things in life that you've probably been missing out on," Toushiro said.

"Yeah…you're right," Momo said. She giggled to herself a little bit, but to Toushiro's surprise and alarm, the laughter soon turned into crying. Momo covered her face and sobbed into her arm.

"Momo, what's-" Toushiro was cut off by a slap to the face. He stared in shock at Momo, whose face was streaked with tears.

"I'm…I'm sorry Toushiro, I…I'm just…I'm so happy right now…I'm happy; I'm enjoying life…I…I…"

"Momo…"

"I…I have to go," Momo said quickly said, turning and running away, throwing her ice cream to the ground and leaving a very confused Toushiro behind.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to AznVKai, Momo-Toshiro, Jerbearz, Merciless Ruby, Momo21, Hinata-cutie, rolf-hitsugaya, Takeshi7117, hitsuhinaeva, liquidprince, and cocoamint for reviewing! Please review!


	6. Chapter 6

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter Six_

Momo ran straight home. She slammed the door behind her and ran to her room. She climbed into bed and cried into her pillow. Why had this happened? She had tried so hard to avoid this. She had decided long ago that she could not allow herself to enjoy this life or make friends. Yet this was exactly what happened. When she was with Toushiro, she felt genuinely happy, and this scared her.

She had spent so long bracing herself for death. Now Toushiro was testing that resolve. She didn't want to allow herself to become attached to this world that she would be leaving so soon. Making friends and being happy would only make dying more painful. She didn't want to live happily only to be forced to leave that happiness behind. She didn't want to have to say goodbye to friends.

Suddenly Momo felt a sharp pain in her chest and a shortness of breath. She immediately got off the bed and ran to the kitchen, where she hurriedly grabbed a bottle of pills off the counter and took two out. She swallowed them and poured herself a glass of water to help wash them down. She panted for several minutes after taking them. The chest pains quickly faded as she calmed down. It was probably the running and stress that caused her chest to hurt. Her heart couldn't take such stress.

Momo sat down on the kitchen floor tiredly. She knew that it would be wise to call the hospital just to be safe, but she didn't have the will to do it. She didn't think she would die today, and if she did, so what? It would only be sooner rather than later. Tears streaked her cheeks, and she buried her face in her hands. She had tried to accept her condition, but today just proved what a failure that effort had been. Despite everything she had done to prepare herself for the inevitable, she was still horribly scared. She told herself otherwise at times, but deep down she knew the truth. She was no more than a frightened little girl trying to face the monstrous specter of death. No matter how hard she tried to be brave, she could do little but cower in fear.

It was hell. Her entire life was hell. She didn't even know why she cared that she would die, this life was so horrible. She was completely alone, facing her incoming death without support. Every night when she went to sleep, she had to cope with the knowledge that she might not wake up. Every day, she would wonder if it was the day her heart would finally stop beating.

She placed a hand over her chest, feeling her weak heartbeat. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Why did this happen to her? Why did she have to live in fear of dying every day? What had she done to deserve this torment? It wasn't fair! She wanted to laugh and make friends and live a happy life, yet she was cursed to die a miserable, lonely death. She lowered her head and cried.

---

"And that's what happened. One minute she was laughing and happy, the next she was crying and running away," Toushiro said.

"Yeah, that is odd; but then again, she's always been an unusual person," Miyone said as she lied down on Toushiro's couch, "I'm honestly surprised you were able to interact with her at all."

"You're not the only one. I wasn't expecting her to begin acting happy at all. I was surprised that she even was willing to spend time with me. That's what makes it even stranger: she was genuinely happy for the first time that I've seen, yet that seemed to upset her most of all." Toushiro sat on the floor leaning against the couch as he talked to Miyone. It had been several hours since Momo ran away from him, and it still completely dominated his thoughts.

"Toushiro, I know you just want to help her, but you really should stop this," Miyone said, "You surely must see that Momo is not the type of person who can be befriended. She has no desire to make friends or be social. You can't help her if she refuses to help herself. It would really be best to just leave her alone. That's evidently what she wants. If you keep on trying to help her, you're just going to get hurt when you realize that you can't change her."

"I see what you're saying, but I'm afraid I can't give up," Toushiro said, "I don't know what, but there's something about Momo… she needs help. Earlier I think I saw her true face for the first time. She's repressing herself for some reason. I don't know if it's just her being too afraid to stand out or if she thinks acting happy will attract bullies or something, but something is keeping her from being herself. She deserves to be happy, and I want to help her."

"That's a really kind thing for you to do Toushiro, but it's wasted effort. She's been the way she is for as long as I can remember. If she really is suppressing a different personality, I can only see a professional psychologist or therapist helping her out of it, and even then only if she's willing to change. There's not much you can really do for someone as messed up as she is."

"I'm not going to stop trying," Toushiro said, "Now that I know that she is capable of happiness, I can't stop trying."

"Whatever you say," Miyone sighed, "Why are you so focused on her anyways? There are lots of people with problems, why are you so intensely focused on her?"

"I don't know, I guess she just sort of catches my eye," Toushiro said, "When I see her, I just feel…drawn to her. I feel like I need to be there for her to protect her and keep her safe and happy."

"Now you're starting to come off as some sort of stalker," Miyone laughed, "How about we talk about something else for a while?"

"Sure, I guess…" Toushiro said, "What did you want to talk about."

"I don't know. How about when are your parents coming home?" Miyone asked.

"Probably not until the weekend," Toushiro sighed, "That's usually the only time they're ever home. They're always on business trips or staying with friends during the week. This is the seventh home they've bought, and they barely spend any time here. They just decided to keep me here because it would be cheaper. They plan to hire a maid to take care of the place at some point so they don't even have to stop by on weekends."

"Wow, a maid? Your family is pretty rich."

"I would prefer being poor if it meant that they would actually spend time with me," Toushiro said bitterly, "My parents are total jerks."

"I can relate to you there," Miyone said, "My parents divorced when I was twelve. My dad lives half-way across the country now, and my Mom is constantly away from home, spending time with boyfriends and leaving me to take care of my brothers and sisters. One of them is older than me, and he helps a little, but even with him I end up cooking and cleaning for at times. I also have to take care of Codi, which as you can probably guess is a handful. Then I have two sisters, seven and twelve, and a five year old little brother. I have to take care of them, do all of my schoolwork, and work two part time jobs to earn enough to both care for them and to save for college."

"Yeah, you said something about that before," Toushiro said, "I guess we both just have rotten luck when it comes to parents."

"You're right. Just this weekend, my Mom is planning to bring over one of her boyfriends. He's alright I guess. He's obnoxious, but at least he tries to take care of us, which is more than our mother does. Still, I'd rather not have to be around him."

"You want to stay with me over the weekend? I could use someone to keep my mind off of my idiot parents," Toushiro said.

"I'll have to think about it, but that would be nice. Thanks Toushiro," Miyone said with a smile, "Oh, that reminds me, I brought you the homework from today's classes." Miyone sat up and went to the other end of the couch where her backpack was. She dug around in the folders for a minute before pulling out several sheets of paper and handing them to Toushiro.

"Here you are. Just one more day to go before you get to return to school!" Miyone said.

"Yeah, I'll be glad to be back," Toushiro said with a grin.

"I hope that you don't get in another fight."

"I won't. Besides, I don't think that those bullies will be bothering Momo anymore," Toushiro said.

"What makes you say that?"

"Oh, just a hunch…"

---

Momo sat in her seat in biology class. Her suspension was now over, though she was not happy with that fact as it meant that she was now back in school. The people who bullied her would surely double the number of taunts and pranks thanks to what had happened with her and Toushiro. It was going to be a difficult day…

"Hello Momo."

Momo looked up to see Toushiro standing there. She glared at him. She couldn't help but feel anger towards him. Because of him, her resolve to not become attached to this life was being harshly tested, not to mention the fact that she would probably face more bullying because of his actions. As happy as he had made her, it didn't make up for the painful and conflicting emotions he had accidentally brought about in her.

"So how are you today?" Toushiro said. Momo glared at him a moment more before turning away. She didn't want to talk to him, not when it caused her such a confusing mixture of happiness, anger, joy, grief, and sadness. She would just have to train herself to ignore him.

"Suit yourself," Toushiro said in response to Momo's lack of answer. Momo bit her lip. He was only trying to help, but that was what was hurting her! Were her life different, she would eagerly befriend Toushiro, but she could not do that.

She continued ignoring Toushiro for the rest of biology class. Her next class, art, went as it normally did, though there were a few rude comments directed at her. Gym… Momo tried not to think about. The taunts and harassment were twice as brutal as usual, and one girl even pushed her into a recently used shower stall, getting her clothes wet. Momo ignored this harassment as she always did, though it still was very hurtful. The harassment continued when she went to lunch. She sat at her table quietly eating her food as others taunted her, just as always. Then, however, something unexpected happened.

Momo was just finishing when someone put their hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Toushiro standing behind her.

"Toushiro? What are you…?"

"I want you to come eat lunch with me, Momo," Toushiro said. The people teasing her snickered at this, and Momo felt embarrassed.

"I'm fine where I am," she said, not wanting Toushiro to become a target of the bullying as well.

"I insist," Toushiro said, "You need to sit with people who are willing to speak to you with respect. I realize that I alone may not be able to cause you to open up and stop hiding your feelings, but if you're surrounded by people who are friendly to you, you'll soon find that you can be happy to."

"I…I'm afraid I can't do that…" Momo said. Her resistance was slipping. She actually _wanted_ to go and sit at the lunch table with Toushiro and his friends. Her natural desire to be happy was overriding her resolve not to enjoy life or make friends.

"Please Momo, I know you probably think I'm being intrusive, but I want to help you. I want you to smile like you did the other day. Please, just let me help you," Toushiro said, looking her in the eyes. Momo bit her lip and hesitated for a moment before silently nodding her head.

"Okay Toushiro, I'll eat lunch with you," she said quietly, her feelings more conflicted than ever.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to AznVKai, MoonLightView, kRyStAlt3aRz, lil' katie, Momo-Toushiro, liquidprince, Neverwinternightsgirl777, Hinata-cutie, FrozenIceCream, Momo21, Takeshi7117, DW64, hellokittylover-94, PhoenixSong4232, JoaNymAr12, hitsu4hinaeva, naruhinax, simplyxcomplicated, Loverboywithbadluck, and Sunset Rainbow for reviewing!


	7. Chapter 7

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter Seven_

Momo sat at the lunch table, awkwardly eating her lunch. The others at the table could do nothing but stare at the reclusive girl. They had never really spoken to her, and didn't know what to say to her. They had only known her for her unusual behavior and unwillingness to socialize with others. They had no idea what to say or how to act in front of her.

Toushiro glanced nervously at Momo. He had hoped that she might begin to open up as she had before, but none of the others at the table were speaking to her. Momo was such an oddity to them, they could do little but stare at her in curiosity. Toushiro tried to think of something that might start a conversation.

"Do you like your lunch, Momo?" he asked.

"It's okay," Momo answered quietly.

Again, there was silence. The normally chatty girls at the table did nothing but stare at Momo. Even Rangiku seemed unsure what to say. It was very awkward for all individuals present. Rukia seemed to be trying to start up a conversation, but as with the others, wasn't sure what to say.

"I was hoping to go shopping downtown after school, would any of you guys like to come with me?" she said hesitantly. A few of the girls present murmured interest in the prospect, but they didn't really discuss it.

"Did you guys see those flowers they planted in front of the school yesterday? They were really nice!" Rangiku said. Again, the most she received for responses were quiet murmurs as the others stared at Momo.

"Hey Chizuru, why don't you tell us about that new erotic novel you were reading," Toushiro said, at this point desperate for any type of conversation.

"It was…okay," Chizuru said, Momo's presence apparently more interesting to her than her usual topics of discussion, quite a rarity for the rather perverted girl.

It was becoming extremely awkward. Nobody had a clue what to say. Rangiku cleared her throat and spoke again.

"Hey Rukia, didn't you say that your brother was going to buy a new house? He's a pretty successful businessman, I bet it will be nice," she said.

"Yeah, it is. He already owns two other houses, so I suspect that he intends this one to be for me one day when I have a family. He seems to be concerned with raising the property value, so maybe he's hoping to sell it one day to pay for retirement or something like that," Rukia said, "I don't really know the finer points of investing and the housing market, so I can't really say."

"He should plant a blue spruce," Momo abruptly said. The others stared at her. This was the first time she had spoken without being directly addressed.

"Excuse me?" Rukia said, unsure what she meant.

"Blue spruces are very nice trees. When full grown, they range from 60 to 120 feet in height with a spread of 20 to 30 feet. It takes about fifty years for them to reach maturity, but they're very nice trees, and can add ten thousand dollars to property values!" Momo said.

"That's really interesting," Rukia said, "I'll certainly bring that up with him. Thanks."

The corners of Toushiro's lips began to lift, making a small smile. This was it, Momo was beginning to open up. He watched eagerly as the other girls began to show more interest in talking to Momo.

"So…what things are you into?" Tatsuki asked.

"Nothing special," Momo said.

"Don't you have any hobbies or anything?"

"Well…I do like painting," Momo said.

"That's a nice hobby!" Rangiku said, "What types of things do you paint?"

"A lot of things, animals and landscapes mostly. For example, right now I'm working on two paintings, one of Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania and one of a lighthouse on Lake Superior. I just finished a painting of my dog a few weeks ago."

"You have a dog?" Mahana said, "I love dogs! What kind is it?"

"She's an apricot poodle. Her name is Ginger," Momo said, a bit more confidence in her voice than before.

"Do you have any paintings of cats?"

"Where do you get your source material?"

"Can I see your dog some time?"

Toushiro smiled as he watched the others take more interest in talking to Momo rather than staring at her like an oddity at a circus. He noticed that Rangiku was looking at him, and he quickly dropped the smile, but the damage had been done. She leaned over and whispered into his ear.

"You're really helping her. Who would have thought that a cold guy like you could be so sensitive?" she said.

"Oh, be quiet," he said, trying to maintain an indifferent expression.

"You're a good guy, Toushiro," she said, "Momo's lucky to have someone like you."

"Don't say it like that! You make it sound like we're boyfriend and girlfriend or something!" he hissed at her.

"Well who knows?" Rangiku chuckled softly, turning her attention back to Momo, who was now talking about her dog in greater detail.

---

The rest of the day seemed to pass far more quickly than usual for Momo. The people Toushiro had introduced her to were far kinder to her than she was used to. They talked to her throughout lunch and several walked alongside her to class afterwards. Toushiro was always present as well. Momo felt conflicted. She was trying to maintain her resolve not to form attachments, but it was hard when there were so many people being friendly to her at once. When it was just Toushiro, she could resist it, but with so many who were willing to talk to her and be kind, it was difficult for her to turn them away.

Momo could not deny that it felt nice to talk to other girls, and she enjoyed the fact that people were paying attention to her in a friendly manner, but that didn't change the cold hard facts of Momo's life. She was destined to die young. As kind as they were, forming close friendships with these people would only lead to pain. Was it really okay for her to forge friendships with people with the knowledge that doing so would put them through emotional suffering? She didn't know…

"Hey Momo!"

Momo looked up to see Toushiro standing up beside her.

"What?" she asked.

"What do you mean 'what'? The bell rang, we can go home now!" he said. Momo looked at the clock and blushed. It was indeed the end of school. She had been so focused on her thoughts that she had completely missed it!

She lifted her bag over her shoulder and began walking out, Toushiro alongside her. Momo glanced at Toushiro a few times, but didn't say anything. She wasn't sure how to feel about him. He did make her happy, but at the same time, he was making her become attached to the world, which caused her great pain now and would cause even more as she got closer to death.

"So did you like sitting with my friends and I at lunch?" Toushiro asked as they walked through the halls.

"They were…very nice. I'm surprised that they were willing to be so friendly to me," Momo admitted.

"It wasn't really them, it was you. After you began talking to them, they warmed up to you quickly. If you gave more people a chance, I'm sure that a lot of them would want to be your friend," Toushiro said.

"Maybe…" Momo said slowly.

"Look, there they are right now," he said as they walked out of the school. Rangiku, Rukia, Orihime, Mahana, and Chizuru were standing outside, apparently waiting for them.

"Hi Toushiro! Hi Momo!" Rangiku said, prancing over to them, "We're going into town, would you two like to come with us?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't right now. I have to go home and take care of some things," Toushiro explained, "I'm sure Momo would love to go though, wouldn't you?"

"Well…" Momo said hesitantly.

"Great! It's settled then!" Rangiku said, grabbing Momo's wrist, "We'll go shopping and maybe stop for a snack! By the way, I have a surprise for you later! Just wait and see, I'm sure you'll love it! Bye-bye!" Rangiku dragged Momo by the wrist, walking towards town with the others.

---

"So she's actually socializing?" Miyone said in surprise. Her and Toushiro were sitting on the couch, backs facing eachother as they leaned against one another.

"Sort of. Momo still isn't completely comfortable with people being friendly to her, but she's talking to others without immediately running off, and she seems to be less averse to contact. I think that eventually she'll be able to get over whatever has been causing her to be so depressed and reclusive," Toushiro explained.

"One can hope, though I'm still not sure I like the idea of this," Miyone said, "I can't help but wonder if she'll revert back to her old self as soon as you stop encouraging and pushing her to behave socially."

"I don't know, I hope not," Toushiro said, "She's making real progress, I'm sure of that."

"Just be careful not to get too emotionally invested in this," Miyone warned, "She may be showing encouraging signs, but the fact remains that for years she did nothing to help her situation. If she ends up reverting back to her old self after you've tried so hard to help her, it's going to be painful for you."

"I guess that means that I'll just have to make sure I help her properly then," Toushiro said with determination. Miyone gave a slight smile.

"You're a lot nicer than you appear at first Toushiro. Even if I don't agree with you about Momo, it's really nice that you're doing this for her. It was nice of you to let me stay here for the weekend too. You act cold, but you're really sweet when you want to be," Miyone said.

"Don't say it like that," Toushiro said with a blush, "I'm not the 'sweet' type of guy, so you can get that thought out of your head right now." Miyone laughed.

"You're stubborn as hell Toushiro, but you are really nice and kind. I doubt there would be many other people who would let me stay at their house for a weekend. I'm really grateful that you're doing this for me."

"Of course I'm doing it for you. I know how hard it is to deal with parents like ours. Mine will be coming here in just a little bit, though hopefully with you here they won't be as irritating as usual. Beyond that though, you're probably my best friend, so it's only natural that I let you stay here," Toushiro said.

"Really? You really think of me as your best friend?" Miyone said with surprise.

"Of course. You're the person most similar to myself and the one who I spend the most time with."

"Wow, I'm honored," Miyone chuckled, tilting her head back so it rested on Toushiro's shoulder, "You're a great guy, Toushiro."

Just then the door opened, and two people walked in.

"Oh-ho! I see you have a lady-friend over!"

Toushiro growled and turned around, both him and Miyone moving further apart.

"Hello Father, Mother," Toushiro said curtly.

"Good afternoon m'boy! It is nice to see you again," his father said boisterously. Toushiro's father had white hair like his son, complimented by a thick moustache, but unlike his son was quite large and heavyset. His mother was nearby. She was thinner and shorter, with silvery blonde hair.

"Good day Toushiro," his mother said with a nod in his direction.

"And who might this young lady be?" Toushiro's father said, taking Miyone's hand. He ignored the glare Toushiro was giving him.

"Um, Miyone…" she said uncomfortably.

"Well it's very nice to meet you Miyone," he said, leaning down to kiss her hand, earning him a harsher glare than ever from Toushiro. "I presume that you will be the one to produce heirs to the family business and fortune?"

"Father, that is highly inappropriate," Toushiro said through gritted teeth.

"My apologies m'boy, I am only joking," he chortled, "I won't interfere in any affairs you're involved in."

"There are no 'affairs'," Toushiro said icily, his voice quiet but dangerous.

"Yes, yes, whatever you say lad!" his father said, showing no sign of noticing Toushiro's anger.

"It was certainly nice seeing you Toushiro, but we must get to work," his mother abruptly said, "We still have some papers to fill out and some financial transactions to look over. We'll be in the study if you need us. Oh, and before I forget, we brought you your new maid!"

"Where is she?" Toushiro asked coldly.

"We had her wait in the car. It's not proper for a servant or maid to enter a house before their masters. I'll go and get her," his mother rushed out of the room.

"I suppose that I should go start working," his father said, "I suppose I'll see you 'round the house, Toushiro." With that his father walked away. His mother came back only moments later.

"Meet your new maid Toushiro!"

"Toushiro!" The next thing Toushiro knew, he was being hugged tightly, his face pressed into a very large pair of breasts. He managed to look up, and nearly fainted when he saw who it was.

"M-Matsumoto?!?!" he said in shock.

"That's right Toushiro, I'm your new maid! I saw the advertisements your parents put out for the job and thought that it would be a great job! Plus, this means that we get to hang out all the time! Isn't that great?"

Toushiro looked like he was about to explode. Rangiku and his mother laughed, and even Miyone couldn't help but giggle a bit. He groaned loudly, banging his head repeatedly against the couch.

---

"That was a great outing! I think those new clothes really look good on you Momo!"

"Yeah, she looks really cute in them!"

"Did you see that pigeon eating an entire loaf of bread on the street? Wasn't that weird?"

"I wish I could have bought that cool clock. I guess I'll have to wait until it goes on sale."

"Where do you suppose Rangiku ran off to all of a sudden?"

"I don't know, but look at this! Those shoes I bought sparkle in the sunlight! I didn't even notice that when I bought them!"

Momo and the others walked to their homes, talking about their experience. They had had a very nice time shopping at the various stores around town, and afterwards had eaten a meal at a small diner. It was a very enjoyable afternoon.

"This is my place. I'll see you guys later!" Chizuru said, running off from the rest of the group towards her house as the others waved goodbye to her.

"My house is just a block or two ahead," Momo said.

"Okay, we'll stop there next," Rukia said.

"Do you think we can see your dog?" Orihime asked.

"Yeah, I guess so," Momo said with a small smile, "Watch out though, she likes to jump on people."

They walked with her to her house, and when they opened the door, Ginger the poodle came running up to greet them. Momo caught the small dog before she had the chance to jump, and held her in her arms for the others to see.

"Awww! She's so cute!" Orihime said.

"I used to have a poodle like her, except mine was black," Mahana said.

"I love poodles, they're really nice dogs," Rukia said.

"I, uh, guess I'll see you guys on Monday then," Momo said, "Bye!" She closed the door and set Ginger down on the ground. She went to the couch and took a deep breath.

It had been a wonderful day. She really truly enjoyed herself. Despite her personal resolve not to get attached to the world, she could not deny how happy she had been today. She had never just hung out with other girls before, nor had she had friendly conversation in such a manner. It was a new experience, and Momo liked it. She knew she owed Toushiro a great deal for his kindness and for introducing him to others that she could call friends.

Momo was still torn. She had suppressed the thoughts of her eventual thoughts earlier, but she couldn't do it forever. She would still die, and living happily alongside friends like she had today would only make it harder. Despite this, she wanted to continue being happy. It made her feel warm and nice on the inside when she was talking and interacting with her new friends. She still didn't want to get too attached to this world, but maybe being happy sometimes wasn't so bad…

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to JoaNymAr12, AznVKai, MoonLightView, Momo21, FrozenIceCream, LonelyAsura, Merciless Ruby, Hinata-cutie, Sorrowxdarkness, DW64, Neverwinternightsgirl777, kRyStAlt3aRz, simplyxcomplicated, lil katie, foxyaoi123, Momo-Toshiro, Toph43, liquidprince, and naruhinax for reviewing! Please review!


	8. Chapter 8

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter Eight_

Toushiro, Rangiku, Rukia, Orihime, Tatsuki, Mahana, Michiru, and Chizuru silently watched Momo. They were in Momo's living room, and Momo was painting on an easel. She had told them about her paintings, and they all insisted on watching her. Thus, Momo now worked on her painting, sitting in a chair with an apron on in front of her easel. She was a bit nervous with so many people watching her, but also happy that they were paying attention to her work.

"So what will you name it?" Mahana asked. Momo stared at her painting of a lighthouse for a moment and shrugged.

"I don't know. I'll probably just call it 'Whitefish Point Lighthouse'. That's the name of the lighthouse I'm using as a source," she said.

"That's a cool name," Orihime said.

"Guys, be quiet! She's working! Let her concentrate!" Rukia whispered at them.

"Oh, sorry!" They quickly stopped talking, and now watched Momo in silence. Her painting had four sections, the sky, the lake, the land, and the lighthouse. She had already painted the basic shapes and the undercoats, and she now had to work on the details. She had painted the sky already, and was now working on the lake. After she was done with that, she planned to paint the rocky foreground and then the lighthouse itself. That would have to come later though, as she would have to let the water section dry before moving on. After painting for a while, she looked carefully over her painting and nodded.

"I think I'm done for now," she said, "I'll wait for it to dry before going further."

Now that Momo was done for now, the others came closer.

"It's really pretty," Orihime said.

"Yeah, you used great colors," Tatsuki noted, "Which specific colors did you use?"

"I worked mainly with a combination of Prussian blue, ultramarine, and cerulean, but I used a bit of cobalt teal for the shallows and steel blue for some sections of the water. You have to mix the different shades together just right, but the results are worth it."

"I'll say, you even managed to create the illusion of waves in the picture! I can practically see them moving thanks to your brushstrokes and the differentiation in color."

"Do you have more paintings we can see?" Michiru asked.

"Sure, but I'll have to get cleaned up first," Momo said, "Toushiro, could you help me out?"

"Sure, whatever," Toushiro said, getting up to help. Momo smiled at his somewhat reluctant attitude. Ever since he had gotten Momo to interact with him and the others, he had reverted back to his 'normal' personality, and was acting more reserved than when he had been actively trying to interact with Momo. She didn't mind though. He was still nice to her, and his somewhat cold personality did have a bit of a charm.

Toushiro helped Momo put away her things and clean off her brushes. After they had cleaned up and put things into their proper storage spaces, Momo led her friends into another room of the house. Nearly everyone's eyes widened when they saw what was inside. The room was filled with the most amazing paintings they had ever seen. There were paintings of beautiful landscapes, realistic animals, and bright and vibrant flowers.

"It's amazing," Orihime said in awe.

"I've never seen so many great paintings in a single room like this!" Rangiku said.

"You could be a professional artist with painting skills like this!" Tatsuki said.

"They're nothing special, just stuff I do with my free time," Momo said modestly.

"Just stuff you do on your free time? Momo, these are amazing!" Toushiro said, "If you were to sell paintings like these, you could make a fortune!"

"Thanks, but I don't think I'll be selling them. Nobody would be interested, and besides, I wouldn't have any use for the money," Momo said.

"Don't sell yourself short," Rukia said, "These really are terrific paintings."

"Hey, do you have any portraits?" Michiru asked.

"No, I don't paint pictures of people," Momo responded.

"Well you should! I bet you'd be great at it!" Orihime said enthusiastically.

"If you need a model, I'd be happy to pose nude for you!" Chizuru said excitedly.

"I don't think that will be necessary," Momo giggled nervously.

"Well then, what would you guys like to do next?" Rukia asked.

"Ooh, let's go down to that new taco place! They have this special on Sundays where you can get as many tacos as you can eat for five dollars!" Rangiku said.

"Sounds good to me," Orihime said.

"Me too."

"Yeah, that works."

"Okay then, let's go!" Rangiku said, leading the others out.

"Um, you guys can go without me. I'm not really hungry," Momo said.

"Are you sure? We'd love to have you with us!"

"I'm sure. Thanks for the offer though, and thanks for the compliments on my paintings," Momo said.

"Well if you really don't want to… We'll see you tomorrow, I guess," Rangiku said. They all said goodbye to her before leaving. Only Toushiro stayed behind.

"Momo, are you sure that you don't want to come? I'd hate to leave you out," he said.

"I'm sure," Momo said with a smile, "Go along and have fun."

"Is something bothering you?" Toushiro asked. Momo gulped.

"I…I uh…no, nothing's wrong," she said, "Now you go on and enjoy yourself."

"Okay, if you say so…" Toushiro said. He turned to leave, but as he was walking out Momo suddenly shouted out to him.

"Wait, Toushiro!" she called, "There's something I need to tell you!" Toushiro turned, his brilliant blue-green eyes focused upon her.

"What?" he asked.

"I…I…um…well…I just wanted…to say… Tell the others thanks again for the compliments! I really appreciate it!" Momo finally said. Toushiro looked at her doubtfully, but nodded and left.

Momo sighed deeply. She had nearly told him of her condition. She hadn't meant to do that, she just suddenly felt the urge to tell him. She was glad that she was able to get herself back under control though. There was no reason for her to tell Toushiro that information. It would have been pointless, and only would have created new stress and problems. Even if she was now allowing herself to be happy and make friends at times, she still didn't want to become too attached, and telling Toushiro about her heart condition would surely make things more difficult.

It was a tough balance that she was trying to strike. She really enjoyed the time spent with Toushiro and her other new friends, but she still didn't want her bonds with them to become too strong. Being with her new friends made her truly happy, and she didn't want that to stop, but she still had to keep in mind that she couldn't let herself get too close to them. She did her best to push away the sadness she felt whenever she thought about the lives her new friends would live but that she would not. It would be difficult, but she would just have to keep a balance of being able to be happy with her friends while still maintaining some emotional distance from them.

As difficult as it was however, Momo still felt that it was worth it. Happiness was a nice feeling, and Momo had managed to convince herself that it may be worth it.

---

The next few weeks went exceptionally well for Momo. Her new friends would talk to her in the halls and talk to her. Momo began conversing with them more and more. A clear and definite change was taking place with her. She was no longer gloomy and always looking forward to death, but happy and determined to enjoy as much of life as she could. She felt like she had more energy and was more willing to participate in activities with her friends. She was aware of the change, but did nothing to stop it. She had pushed all thoughts of death from her mind, and now was focusing on life.

Indeed, life was feeling much more cheerful than it had in the past. Other kids were picking on her less (though Momo suspected that this was due partly to Toushiro's influence), school felt more enjoyable, and she felt less depressed in general. It was truly a good time in her life, and by the time June came, she was acting like any normal teenage girl.

One day she was walking out of a store with Rangiku, having just bought a very nice blue shirt, when she spotted Toushiro.

"Hey, Toushiro!" she called out to him, walking briskly across the street towards him. He turned to regard her.

"Yeah, what is it?" he asked.

"I just wanted to say hi," Momo said, "So what are you doing?"

"I was just going to go fishing. I left my things down by the lake and came into town to grab a bite to eat," Toushiro said.

"You shouldn't do that! Somebody might steal your things!" Rangiku said, interrupting them.

"The only person who steals my stuff is you," Toushiro said.

"What? Me?! I would never steal from you!" Rangiku said indignantly.

"Yes you do, you steal food from my refrigerator all the time."

"It wasn't stealing! It was you providing for your guest!" Rangiku protested.

"You weren't my guest, you're my maid! You barely clean anything and usually just spend the time bugging me, but you're still my maid, and you can't just steal food from me," Toushiro said.

"Don't be mean!"

"You're the one who volunteered to be the maid," Toushiro said irritably, "You're not really in the position to complain."

"Um, guys?" Momo said quietly, "Maybe we should talk about this some other time."

"Yeah, I guess so. I have to get back to the lake," Toushiro said with a shrug.

"Can I come with you? I've never been fishing before!" Momo said.

"I only have one fishing pole, but you can watch," he said.

"That works!" Momo said brightly.

"What about me? Can I come?" Rangiku said.

"Only if you're absolutely quiet and don't spend any time bugging me," Toushiro replied.

"Those are unfair rules!" Rangiku complained, "Fine, if you're going to be like that, then I'm just going home!" Rangiku stomped off grumpily. Momo giggled, and Toushiro scowled.

"Impossible woman…" he grumbled.

Toushiro and Momo walked back to the side of the lake where Toushiro had left his fishing gear. They sat down on the grass, and Toushiro cast the fishing pole. Momo watched the bobber on top of the water for a little bit before speaking.

"So do you go fishing often?" she asked.

"Sometimes," he replied.

"I only went fishing once," Momo said, "I can't even remember how old I was, all I remember is that I caught this tiny little fish that was no bigger than the palm of my hand. It was a rare happy moment for me…"

"You should be more willing to have fun. Life isn't worth living if you don't enjoy it."

Momo winced a little at this comment, as it reminded her of her situation. Nevertheless, she nodded quietly.

"Thank you," she suddenly said.

"For what?"

"For everything. No other person has helped me as much as you have. I never would have stopped being sad and alone if it hadn't been for you. I…I just can't explain how much I owe you. Thank you Toushiro, thank you so much," Momo said.

"It was nothing. I couldn't let you continue to live your life in sadness like that. You're a kind, beautiful girl, Momo, and you deserve to be happy," Toushiro said. Momo blushed a little at the compliment.

"I never thought that I could be anything but sad, depressed, and alone. I…I don't know how to repay you. If it weren't for you, I'd still be all alone. Loneliness is possibly the most painful thing in this world, and I never even realized just how lonely I was until you came along. No matter how many times I say thank you, it just isn't enough."

"I'm glad to have you as a friend Momo," Toushiro said. Without warning, Momo embraced Toushiro, hugging him tightly and whispering 'thank you' to him. Toushiro felt a little awkward, but still managed to smile a little. Just then though, he noticed something else.

"Oh Momo! Let go, I've got a bite!" he hurriedly said. Momo let go, and watched intently as Toushiro reeled in his line.

"It's a big one!" Toushiro said, standing up as he reeled it in, "I…I think it's a…"

"Hey, it's a turtle!" Momo said. Indeed it was a turtle. Toushiro groaned, and pulled it up on the grass.

"Now what am I supposed to do?" he muttered to himself.

"Well obviously you have to take the hook out of the poor guy's mouth!" she said. Toushiro sighed and reached for the hook. Before he could however, the turtle opened its mouth and lunged at Toushiro. Toushiro quickly withdrew his hand.

"It's a snapping turtle," he said. The turtle had its mouth opened threateningly, the hook stuck to the side.

"It's not in deep, you could probably knock it out of his mouth with just a firm push," Momo said.

"Are you crazy? I'm not putting my fingers anywhere near that thing!" Toushiro said.

"Oh come on, it's not nice to just leave the poor guy like that. You have to take the hook out of his mouth," Momo said.

"Well I do have some needle-nosed pliers, but I'd have to put my hand right next to his head in order to get the hook out…"

"Then do it!" Momo said, "You put a hook in his mouth, you have to get it out!" Toushiro groaned and took out the pliers. He went around the turtle and tried to quickly knock the hook out with the pliers. Every time he put his hand forward however, the turtle would lunge forward, forcing him back. Eventually, he was able to distract the turtle with a stick long enough to grab onto the hook with the pliers and pull it out of the turtle's mouth. Toushiro sighed in relief, while the turtle gave him a look that could only be described as a glare.

"Good! Now just put him back in the water," Momo said. Toushiro looked at the turtle, which had its mouth open again, fully prepared to bite him the moment he got close. Grumbling, Toushiro picked up the stick again and turned the turtle over, rolling it over and over until it was in the water. Momo couldn't help but laugh at this, and the turtle gave Toushiro a nasty look before swimming off.

"That wasn't very nice of you Toushiro," Momo giggled.

"The little bastard deserved it," Toushiro grumbled.

"Come on, let's fish in a different spot," Momo said, taking Toushiro's hand.

---

"I have to say Momo, that new shirt looks great on you!" Rangiku said.

"Thanks Rangiku," Momo replied, glancing down at the powder blue shirt she wore. They walked from their gym class to lunch. Momo hummed merrily to herself, and Rangiku smiled down at her. Walking in the halls between classes used to be something Momo dreaded, as it left her exposed to bullies, but now she enjoyed them as times that she could say hi to her friends between classes. She didn't even take advantage of the special privilege to leave early anymore.

There were only a few days of school left before break, and several classes had already given their final exams. Toushiro had promised Momo that on the last day of school, he would buy her ice-cream. Even though Momo could get ice-cream whenever she wanted, it was still a sweet gesture, and she looked forward to it.

When Momo and Rangiku walked into the lunchroom, it was already relatively full. When they arrived at their lunch table, Orihime, Tatsuki, and Toushiro were already there. They hadn't touched their lunches yet, and seemed to be staring at Momo.

"Is something wrong?" Momo asked.

"Nothing's wrong," Rangiku said, "We're just…well, you'll see soon enough." Momo looked at Rangiku in confusion, unsure what she was talking about. Soon, one after the other, her other friends arrived, each smiling at her.

"Okay, what's going on?" Momo said, knowing that something was definitely up.

"Close your eyes first," Rangiku instructed. Momo sighed and closed her eyes. She heard some scuffling and rummaging around in bags, making her even more curious.

"Okay, you can open your eyes!"

Momo opened her eyes to see that each of her friends was holding a cupcake, each decorated differently. Toushiro's was covered in blue frosting with star sprinkles on it, Rangiku's had pink frosting, Chizuru's was covered in candy hearts, and Orihime's had nuts and raisins on top of the frosting.

"What…what's this?" Momo said in surprise.

"It's your birthday present!" Rangiku said happily.

"B-Birthday…?"

"Yep, your birthday! It was Toushiro's idea. We made a batch of cupcakes, and then, last night, we each took one to decorate! That was smart thinking Toushiro!"

"It was no big deal," Toushiro shrugged.

"If you're wondering why we're celebrating early, it's because we weren't sure if we'd have time on your actual birthday," Orihime said.

"Do you want us to sing the happy birthday song to you?" Rukia asked. Momo didn't reply however. She stood completely still and wide eyed, silently mouthing the word _birthday_ over and over.

Birthday... One year older, one year closer to death. Momo hated birthdays. Every year she dreaded the day. Her birthdays always reminded her of her limited time on earth. Now, she stood still, watching as her new friends smiled brightly at her and held up cupcakes as presents. The noises of the cafeteria seemed to go away, and time felt slowed. Everything felt like it was in slow motion, and all she could hear was the beating of her heart. She looked from one friend to the other, panic overtaking her. The fears and anxieties of death that she had repressed the past several weeks were beginning to surface. She had forced herself not to think of it when she was having fun with friends, but now she was hit by the fear and terror that she had ignored before. As her heart beat faster and a cold sweat came over her, she realized that her greatest fear had come to pass: she had become attached to life in this world.

"Hey Momo, what's wrong?" Toushiro asked, nudging Momo on the shoulder.

Momo pushed Toushiro's hand away and let out a horrible scream. She swatted away the cupcakes her friends had made for her and ran away crying, ignoring the eyes upon her and only interested in getting out.

"Wait! Momo!" Toushiro called after her, but Momo paid no attention.

Momo ran out of school and ran straight to her home. She didn't care if she got in trouble for leaving school, all that she cared about was getting home as fast as she could. When she arrived home, she threw the door open and ran straight to the couch. She punched and kicked at the couch cushions, taking out her frustration and anxiety on them.

She couldn't believe she had let this happen. She hadn't even noticed it. In her blurry mind, she couldn't think clearly, all she could think of was the fact that she was now attached to this world, her friends, and life. The fear and sadness that she had been pushing away the past few weeks was hitting her with full force. She had a reason to live now, and for someone who was certain to die soon, that was a very painful thing. She screamed and lashed out at the couch violently.

She was physically and emotionally exhausted and breathing heavily when she began feeling strange. Her body felt odd, and her vision blurry. There was a painful tightness in her chest, and her fingertips went numb. She panted for breath. Maybe she shouldn't have gotten so worked up. Her vision was becoming blurred and she had to put a hand on the arm of the couch to steady herself.

A thought struck her. Had she taken her heart medication this morning? Surely she must have, it was a habit for her. She couldn't remember it though. She tried to shrug off this worry and take deep breaths. It was just her imagination. The stress must have gotten to her. This whole thing was just in her mind. As breathing became more difficult however, she began staggering towards the phone. Maybe she would call the hospital, just to be safe.

Her vision increasingly blurry, it took her a moment to pick up the phone. When she did so, she stared blankly at it for a moment, forgetting what she was doing in her hazy mind. She knew that she was calling for help, but her mind was so blurred that she couldn't seem to carry out the action. She just stared at the phone, swaying in place.

She felt another sharp pain in her chest, causing her to reflexively let go of the couch. No longer able to support herself, she collapsed to the ground, blacking out soon afterwards.

---

"She did what?!" Miyone said angrily. She was sitting in English class next to Toushiro, Rangiku, and Rukia. The class hadn't started yet, and Rukia had just told her about what had happened.

"I don't even understand it myself," Toushiro sighed, "I really thought she had managed to change…" He put his head on his desk, dully thinking over what had happened.

"I told you this would happen. Look at yourself! Because you got yourself emotionally involved with that girl, you ended up getting hurt!" Miyone said.

"I'm beginning to think you may have been right about her," Rukia said, "She just doesn't know how to interact as a normal person."

"I can't believe the nerve of her, to turn away someone who put so much effort into helping them. I'm going to go over to her house and tell her off for this right now!" Miyone said.

"You can't, we have class," Rangiku said.

"I don't care! I warned her not to betray the trust you were investing in her. She's not going to get away with this!" Miyone angrily stood and briskly left class. The teacher walked in just as she was walking out.

"Oh, Miyone! Were you about to-"

"Not now!" she growled at him, staring straight ahead as she left the room. She walked briskly out of the school and towards Momo's house. She could get in trouble for leaving school like this, but she didn't care. She was angry. Momo had really hurt Toushiro by turning on him like this. She had thought that maybe Momo really was changing, but it seemed her initial perceptions of the girl were right. Momo was someone too caught up in their angst to bother to help themselves. Miyone hated that type of person. Miyone had a tough life, and she worked hard to compensate for it. She worked hard academically, took care of her siblings, and worked at a part-time job to pay for college, all without parental support. When she saw people like Momo, who put forth no apparent effort to better their situation, she was filled with anger.

Soon she arrived at the house belonging to Momo. Almost as soon as she arrived, a small, orange-furred dog ran out and began jumping on her. Miyone immediately picked up the dog, not wanting it to run into the street. Looking at the collar, she saw that the dog belonged to Momo. She looked up and saw that Momo's front door was wide open. This caused Miyone to growl a little. On top of everything else, Momo was apparently also a negligent pet owner. She carried the dog up the porch and stood in the doorway.

"Momo! Come out here! I have some things to say to you!" she yelled inside. There was no answer. The dog she held in her arms began struggling and scratching, eventually wiggling out of Miyone's arms. It immediately ran inside. Curious, Miyone followed it.

After taking a few steps inside, she gasped. Momo was lying face-down on the floor, completely unmoving.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to AznVKai, kRyStAlt3aRz, MoonLightView, FrozenIceCream, waterheart96, Merciless Ruby, JoaNymAr12, Neverwinternightsgirl777, DW64, Momo21, rolf-hitsugaya, lil katie, and PhoenixSong4232 for reviewing! Please review!


	9. Chapter 9

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter Nine_

Rangiku and Rukia tried to hold Toushiro back as he ran into the hospital lobby. He ran up to the front desk, only barely slowed down by the two girls holding onto him.

"Where's Momo Hinamori? What happened to her?" he said in distress.

"Young man, please keep your voice down," the receptionist said.

"Don't give me that! I'm asking you a question: What's wrong with Momo Hinamori? Where is she? What-" Rangiku clapped her hand over his mouth to prevent him from yelling more. They couldn't afford to get kicked out right now.

"We're sorry about him," Rukia said hastily, "We're looking for our friend, Momo Hinamori. She was taken in earlier today and we'd like to see her."

"Momo Hinamori? I'll have to check." The receptionist turned to her computer, typing and clicking the mouse for several minutes while they anxiously waited.

"Come on…" Toushiro whispered urgently.

"Calm down, I've almost got it… Alright, here: Momo Hinamori," the receptionist announced, "She was taken to the emergency room via ambulance at 12:59 p.m.; she is in intensive care, but her condition was downgraded from 'critical' to 'serious' about fifteen minutes ago."

"But what's wrong with her?" Toushiro asked.

"I'm sorry, but due to patient privacy laws I cannot tell you. Only a parent, guardian, or spouse can be given information without her explicit approval, and since she is in no state to give such approval, I'm afraid I can't tell you anything."

"Could we at least see her then?" Toushiro asked.

"I'm afraid not. She is in no condition to be seeing visitors. However, if you wait in the lobby I can send a nurse to advise you on when you can make an appointment for visitation, though I should tell you that it may take some time before they are able to speak to you."

"Fine," Toushiro said, suppressing the anger in his voice. He marched over and took a seat, with Rangiku and Rukia sitting next to him. He gripped his forehead and groaned, causing his companions to exchange a nervous glance.

It was shortly after school was out that Rangiku received a cell phone call from Miyone informing her that Momo had been taken to the hospital. Rangiku immediately told Toushiro, who ran straight to the hospital with Rangiku and Rukia following. His friends had never seen him like this. He almost always maintained his composure, but he was now showing true panic.

"I'm sure she'll be okay," Rangiku said reassuringly, patting Toushiro on the shoulder. He didn't react to the gesture.

"It's lucky that Miyone was able to call for help," Rukia said, trying to look on the bright side.

"I just can't figure it out," Toushiro sighed to himself, "What's wrong with her? She's always acted so odd, then she began acting friendly and sociable, then she suddenly goes crazy when we try to celebrate her birthday, and now this. I just don't understand. What's wrong with her? On second thought, what's wrong with _me_? Why do I care so much for her?"

"Because she's your friend," Rukia said, but Toushiro ignored her, proceeding to talk to himself more than them.

"She acted withdrawn and thoroughly anti-social. Everyone else had dismissed her as a lost cause, so why did I feel like I had to help her. Even after trying to reach out to her, she still turned away. When I finally managed to get her to open up and start acting friendly, I thought I had helped her discover her true self, but now I'm beginning to think that maybe I just forced her into that behavior. Her behavior when we gave her the cupcakes today was not how a friend would react. Either something is very, very wrong with her, or she was never really our friend to begin with. Maybe…maybe I just forced her into this situation because I felt bad for her. But why did I? I didn't have any responsibility for her, and like Miyone has said, she never bothered to help herself, so why should I? I just…don't know what to think. Is Momo the person I thought I knew or somebody entirely different?"

"Oh…I'm sure she really did care about us," Rangiku said, "She really did seem happy when she was with us. There's something wrong with her, and once we figure it out, I'm sure that these things will be all cleared up."

"Unless the explanation makes things worse."

All three of them looked up to see Miyone standing there with her arms crossed. Toushiro was the first to stand up.

"Miyone, what happened? Rangiku said that you didn't explain it in detail. What happened to Momo?" he asked urgently.

"I don't know," Miyone admitted, "When I got to her house, the door was open and she was lying unconscious on the ground. I called emergency services and an ambulance came and picked her up. They asked me to come with them under the impression that I had seen her symptoms, but I really didn't see anything. They told me to remain at the hospital, since they wanted someone she knew to be present for questions."

"What was wrong with her?" Toushiro asked.

"I don't know," Miyone said again, "She was lying on the floor unconscious and barely breathing. That's all I know."

"I see…" Toushiro sighed, sitting back down.

"You really care about her, don't you?" Miyone said. Toushiro nodded.

"I don't know what it is. I just feel the urge to protect and help her. It's not rational, but I can't force myself to think any differently," he said.

"Well, I can't tell you what to do," Miyone said, "I'm beginning to feel unsure about her myself. I've always disliked the fact that she never stands up for herself or does anything to make her life better, but… I don't know. She's not like the others who won't help themselves. It's just…odd."

They were silent after this, reflecting on what they knew of Momo and, more importantly, what they _didn't_ know about her. For the next half hour, they sat perfectly still, not speaking a word. When a nurse finally came, they promptly stood up to speak, but she spoke first.

"Miss Hinamori will be staying here for fourteen days. As she has no immediate relatives that we could reach, visitation restrictions will be loosened for her case. You may come to visit her in ten days, after we have ensured she will be capable of taking visitors," the nurse explained.

"Ten days?" Toushiro groaned, "Why so long?"

"She is in very serious condition, and will be undergoing several procedures. We do not allow non-family members to visit patients in such a state."

"But you just said yourself that she has no family members!" Toushiro said angrily, "You can't just leave her all alone for ten days!"

"It's the rules. Do not worry about your friend; she will be under the care of our doctors. Now, if you have no other business here I feel it would be best if you leave."

Toushiro clenched his fist and glared at the nurse.

"Fine," he said, visibly angry. He had turned to leave when the nurse spoke again.

"Oh and…Miyone was it? The doctors asked me to commend you on your heroic actions," the nurse said. Toushiro, Rukia, and Rangiku stared at the nurse, and then Miyone.

"What are you talking about?" Rangiku asked.

"This young woman saved Miss Hinamori's life. After calling an ambulance, she performed CPR until help arrived. Had Miyone not been present, Momo Hinamori would have almost certainly died."

Miyone was looking away nervously, and the others were too surprised to speak, remaining silent until they left the hospital.

"You…you saved her…" Toushiro finally said.

"Yeah…I suppose," Miyone said.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Rukia asked.

"Did it really matter?"

"Of course it matters! You saved Momo's life! You're a hero!" Rangiku said.

"Would you have done differently in my situation?" Miyone asked.

"If I knew CPR, yes, but that doesn't make you any less of a hero!" Rangiku said.

"Look, I don't want to make a big deal about this. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go," Miyone said, turning to leave.

"Wait!" Toushiro said, "Miyone… Thank you. Thank you for saving Momo. I know you don't like her very much, but the fact that you saved her… I have never felt more grateful. You're an amazing person, Miyone. If there's anything I can do to thank you, just name it."

"Geez, you're making me feel embarrassed," Miyone laughed nervously, "Thanks, but I really do have to go. They assumed that Momo and I were friends and asked me to take care of her dog. I have to go take care of that. See you later, I guess."

---

The next week was very painful for Toushiro. It was the last week of school before break, so it should have been a happy time, but with Momo hospitalized and Toushiro left in the dark about her condition, it was a very grim time for him. He worried about her every day, and could not stop wondering what had happened to her.

His friends were not exactly helpful. Aside from Rangiku and Rukia, they didn't know about Momo's hospitalization, and were still rather angry at her for her response to their birthday present for her. Even Orihime seemed upset with her. He thought of telling them about Momo, but thought it best to keep that matter private. Rangiku and Rukia tried to cheer him up from time to time, but it never made him feel any better. He simply could not get Momo out of his mind.

It was really strange. What was it about Momo that made Toushiro so drawn to her? The moment he saw her, he wanted to help her and be her friend. Something about her stood out and drew her to him. He could see the kind, gentle personality within her, and wanted to draw that side of her out so that she may live a happy life rather than the sad one she was living before. Despite her initial resistance to his actions, it had seemed to be successful, yet now it had fallen apart again.

Why Momo? Why was it her that he so desired to help and not someone else? There were plenty of people with problems in the world, why was it her that he felt the need to so relentlessly help, even when she apparently didn't want it? It was all so strange. He was a bit of a cold person, but when he was around Momo, he felt happy and able to express himself more freely. Maybe it was her sweet personality rubbing off on him, he didn't know, but there was definitely something special about her. She was a precious person, and no matter what happened, Toushiro felt the instinctive desire to protect her and watch over her. More than anything else, he wanted her to be happy.

---

Momo sat upright in her hospital bed, absentmindedly staring at the ceiling and counting the tiles. She had an IV inserted into her arm and there were several machines connected to her that monitored her vital signs. She felt extremely weak. When she had first woken up, she was barely aware of where she was. Even as she remembered what had happened and realized she was at a hospital, her perception of events was still rather fuzzy. A mask to supply her with oxygen had been put over her face and a feeding tube to provide her with nutrients was inserted into her stomach, as it was not known by the doctors if she would be able to eat and breathe on her own. She had undergone several medical procedures, including one that involved injections directly into the heart. It was a painful and stressful experience, and even now, when she was feeling much better, she felt very weakened. It was explained to her that she had suffered partial heart failure, and that she would be kept at the hospital for two weeks.

Momo kept anxiously glancing up at the clock. It was almost time. The hospital staff had informed her that several friends would be coming to visit her today. When she was first told, she nearly demanded that they be turned away. She was afraid to see her friends (if they even still considered her a friend after what she did to them). Aside from fearing their reaction to what she did to the birthday cupcakes they gave her, she knew that she would now be unable to hide the true nature of her condition. She wouldn't be able to lie her way out of this; she would have to tell them the truth.

That is what scared her the most. She had never told anyone but doctors and a few school officials about her heart condition. She didn't want them to know, for if they did they would surely pity her and try to reach out to her further. She didn't want that. This incident reminded her of what she had known since the beginning: that she was destined to die, and making friends and being happy with life would just make it more painful. They surely wouldn't understand though. It was impossible for them to understand, they had never been in her situation. They didn't know what it felt like.

"Momo, your friends are here," a nurse said from the doorway. Momo gulped and nodded. This was it.

Moments later, Toushiro, Rukia, Rangiku, and to Momo's surprise, Miyone, walked into the room. Toushiro immediately went to her bedside, with Rukia and Rangiku cautiously approaching. Miyone however remained near the doorway.

"Momo…" Toushiro said, taking hold of her hand and sitting in the chair next to her bedside.

"Toushiro," Momo said calmly, avoiding eye contact with him.

"We, um, we're glad you're okay Momo," Rukia said.

"Yeah, we were all really worried when we found out," Rangiku said. Momo remained silent, though Toushiro noticed that Momo's gaze had shifted to Miyone.

"Uh, as you can see, Miyone is here. We thought that since she saved you, she should come too," Toushiro explained. Momo nodded slowly.

"You...you know, Miyone probably saved your life. You should thank her," Toushiro said.

"Yeah…I probably should…" Momo said softly. Toushiro sighed and closed his eyes.

"Momo, please tell us what's wrong," he said, "What happened?"

"I…don't know what you're talking about," Momo said, her voice unsteady.

"Please Momo, tell us," Toushiro said. Momo turned away, blinking back tears.

"Oh…I…I don't know what to say… I don't want you to know, but…but I can't just not tell you! I…should, but…I just don't know what to do…" Momo said.

"Momo," Rangiku said gently, "If you really don't want to, you don't have to tell us."

"No…you deserve the truth," Momo said, "Just…promise that you won't look at me differently afterwards."

"We promise," Toushiro said, "Agreed everyone?" Rukia, Rangiku, and even Miyone nodded in agreement.

"And…and don't tell anyone," Momo said.

"Of course," Toushiro said.

"One more thing," Momo said, "Promise that after I tell you, you'll leave me alone and never speak to me again."

"What?! Momo, I can't…! You can't be serious!" Toushiro said.

"I am serious. I never want to speak to or associate with any of you ever again," Momo said.

"Momo, we're your friends! We're not going to abandon you!" Toushiro said.

"Even if I want you to?" Momo asked quietly.

"Momo, you're not thinking clearly," Rangiku said, "You don't understand what you're saying."

"I know exactly what I'm saying," Momo said, "I don't want to see any of you ever again."

"But…why? You were so happy with us," Rukia said, "I've never seen you acting happy in the past, but you were always cheerful and friendly when you were spending time with us."

"I know…that was a mistake."

"Momo, I don't understand!" Toushiro said in exasperation.

"You will when you know the truth," Momo said, "I…I can't see any of you again after I tell you the truth. Especially you, Toushiro."

"Momo, please think about what you're saying," Toushiro said.

"I've thought about it for a long time. If you won't promise me that you'll leave me alone, at least promise that you'll consider what I say and try to understand why I'm saying this," Momo said.

"Very well," Toushiro said. Momo took a deep breath.

"Okay…I'll tell you. This isn't easy, so please pay attention," Momo said, "I…I was born with a congenital heart defect. My heart is smaller and weaker than a normal person's. I…I'm dying."

Everyone present looked at her with shock. Toushiro stared at her with wide eyes, Rangiku covered her mouth in horror, and Rukia seemed to have frozen in place. Even Miyone seemed to be extremely shocked by the revelation. Tears began to trickle from Momo's eyes, her face was etched with misery.

"Momo…you can't…no, you must be mistaken," Toushiro said, his throat feeling constricted as he spoke.

"It's true Toushiro. I'm dying. I…I've known it for a very long time, and I've come to terms with it. I know that I'm going to die, probably soon. I was lucky this time, but I doubt I'll survive something like this again. Every doctor I've spoken to says I probably won't live past age twenty. I…only have about three years to live, if that."

"Surely…surely there must be something to be done for you," Toushiro said, "Isn't there some medicine or operation or-"

"No!" Momo said, extremely upset, "There's nothing! I've already had multiple surgeries and have tried several types of medication. They might extend my life slightly, but none will change the inevitable! My heart is just too weak to keep me alive. One of these days, it's just going to stop beating. There's nothing I can do about it. There…there's no point to…to…" Momo began crying, causing Toushiro to try to comfort her.

"Momo, please don't cry. I…I don't know what I could possibly say to make you feel better, but you mustn't lose yourself to despair and fear."

"That's right Momo, if you let fear of death control you, you won't get the most out of life," Rukia said. Momo sniffled and looked up at them.

"I…I don't fear death!" she said, "I've come to terms with the fact that I'm going to die. It's a fact and there's no point in being upset about it. I'm not crying because I'm going to die, I'm crying because of you!" There was a stunned silence.

"Us? What do you mean?" Rangiku asked. Momo wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"I promised myself long ago that I wouldn't become attached to this life, that I wouldn't make friends or enjoy myself. If I do that, it will just make dying more painful, because I'll be leaving all of that behind. I…I was able to withdraw myself and sever any connections I had with life. But then…but then you came along!" Momo pointed an accusing finger at Toushiro, "You made me attached to everyone and made me make friends and become attached to life. That…that was the cruelest thing you could possibly do to me! I worked so much to harden myself and ready myself for death, but you messed it all up! I don't want to have to say goodbye when I die, but because of you, I will!"

"Momo, think about what you're saying. Do you really want to be miserable just so you won't have to say goodbye when you die? What kind of life is that? Besides, you don't even know for certain if you're going to die or not, so don't give up hope."

"Shut up!" Momo yelled, "Stop trying to destroy my resolve, and stop trying to give me false hope! I'm going to die, and I don't want to have to leave friends or a happy life behind when I do. Just…leave me alone! Leave me and never speak to me again!"

"Momo, please-"

"No! Out! Get out! Just let me die peacefully with dignity! Stop tormenting me!" Momo screamed, "Out! Out! Out!"

---

Toushiro and the others did not come back to visit Momo again. She spent the remainder of her time at the hospital alone and sad. When she was released four days later, she didn't even feel any better. On the contrary, she felt worse upon arriving at her run down old home. She was beginning to feel that maybe it would have been better had she died. She knew she wouldn't be able to go back to the detached state she had been in before meeting Toushiro, and could only hope that she could manage to build up her resolve again before she died.

Momo felt lonely. Even though she didn't want to form attachments, she disliked being alone. That was why she liked animals. She was able to interact with them and receive companionship without feeling sad about it. Unfortunately, Ginger was being cared for by Miyone and wouldn't be brought back until a later time, so Momo didn't even have the companionship of her dog.

With nothing else to do, Momo took out a blank canvas and put it on an easel. She had already finished her drawing of Whitefish Point Lighthouse, so she now would have to come up with a new idea for a painting. She took out a pencil and prepared to sketch an outline for her painting. Before she could begin however, there was a knock on the door. Sighing, Momo got up to answer it, hoping that it was just Miyone bringing her dog back. To her dismay however, it was Toushiro.

"What do you want?" she asked tiredly.

"I just want to talk to you," Toushiro said.

"I told you that I didn't want to see you again," Momo said quietly.

"Momo, I'm not going to abandon you," Toushiro said.

"But I want you to! Can't you see how much pain you've caused me? My entire life, I've been trying to prevent what you caused!" Momo said.

"I don't want to see you sad Momo, I want you to be happy," Toushiro said.

"But being happy is what makes me sad!" Momo protested, "I know you can't be expected to understand, but can't you at least respect my wishes? I just want to be left to die quietly and without having to say goodbye to a good life."

"That sounds horrible to me," Toushiro said, "What good will it do you to just disappear quietly into the night? Friends and happiness are what make life worth living. I don't want you to die Momo, but if it's inevitable, I want to make sure that you live your life to the fullest before you go. Don't you understand what I'm saying?"

"I do, but I don't agree with you. If I do what you say and 'live life to the fullest', it will mean that dying will be even more horrible, because I'll be leaving a happy life behind. Besides, you'll suffer too. Do you really want to be friends with me knowing that you'll end up grieving over me in just a few years?"

"I don't know Momo. To be honest, I still don't entirely understand why you're so intent on this," Toushiro said.

"Of course you don't understand!" Momo said, "You don't know what it's like! You don't understand what it's like to know with absolute certainty that death is coming. You'll get to live a rich, full life, but not me! I'm never going to grow old or get married or get a real job, I'm going to die before I have the chance! Every night when I go to bed, I do so with the knowledge that I might not wake up. Every new day is a day closer to death! You don't understand how it feels!"

"You're right, I don't," Toushiro said, "But if you just let me help you, maybe I can understand. I really care about you Momo. I don't want you to suffer."

"If you don't want me to suffer, then just go," Momo said. Toushiro sighed and stood up to leave.

"Just remember, I'll always be there for you if you need me," he said. Suddenly he embraced her, taking her by surprise. He whispered into her ear, "Please don't give up." With that, he turned and left, leaving Momo feeling confused, sad, and frustrated.

She slapped the couch in frustration. She really did want to be with Toushiro and her other friends, but it was just too painful, and her recent emergency just proved further why she couldn't let herself be happy and have friends. Just being with them for a short time had made her become horribly sad and depressed now that she was alone again. She should have never interacted with them in the first place.

She almost felt angry at Toushiro. It was him who brought all of this upon her. He had caused her great pain. Despite this however, she couldn't quite feel anger towards him, no matter how much stress he was putting her through. She didn't know what it was about him, but he always made her feel like she could trust him. She felt like she didn't have to be as tense around him as she was around others. He relaxed her and made her feel safe and happy. It was extremely strange, and just made things even more confusing for Momo.

Momo turned to the blank canvas and began sketching on it with a pencil. She barely even paid attention to what she was doing, the drawing was coming straight from her heart. For some time she worked on it, carefully working on the details of her drawing. After drawing for about an hour, she heard another knock on the door.

Momo sighed. She hoped that it wasn't Toushiro again. She looked around and hurriedly grabbed a sheet that she used to hurriedly cover the easel and canvas. She turned around and promptly walked over to open the door. She was relieved to see that it was not Toushiro, but Miyone holding Ginger the poodle.

"Thanks for taking care of her," Momo said awkwardly, taking Ginger from her.

"May I come in?" Miyone asked. Momo bit her lip. She was well aware of Miyone's feelings towards her.

"I…I'd prefer you not," Momo said.

"There's something I need to say to you," Miyone said. Momo breathed a sigh.

"Okay, come in," she said dully, standing aside and gesturing for Miyone to come in. Once they were inside, they stared at eachother quietly for several minutes.

"So you're dying of a heart defect. That does explain a lot about your behavior," Miyone said bluntly. Momo scowled a little at her.

"That's right," Momo said, not liking the way she was talking to her.

"You're so afraid of saying goodbye to life, you decided to abandon making friends and being happy and self-improvement. You've given up on yourself and life, in other words," Miyone said calmly.

"Yeah, I guess that's right," Momo said, her voice taking on a bitter edge.

"I've always hated people who have given up. People who do nothing to help themselves shouldn't expect the help from others; that's been my philosophy for a long time," Miyone said, "That's why I never liked you. I saw you never standing up for yourself and doing nothing to improve your situation, and it made me angry."

"Well I suppose you hate me even more now that you know that I don't even care about life," Momo said in frustration, "You probably think I'm just some stupid girl who's too stupid and angsty to help herself or make her life better. That's it, isn't it? I know you've always disliked me because I wouldn't waste my time trying to improve this fleeting, worthless existence. It's the same now as it always was!"

"You're wrong," Miyone said abruptly, "I don't hate you. I came to tell you…I understand."

"Yeah right. How could you possibly understand?" Momo said, becoming uncharacteristically rough-spoken, "You're just a jerk who uses some personal issues at home to justify being judgmental of others."

"You're right, I can be judgmental. I believe that people should fight to improve their situation and fix their problems, rather than letting others do the work for them. Sometimes that leads me to not be as empathetic towards others as I should, I'll admit that. However, now that I know the truth, I can't just let you go on like this. I understand how hard it is for you and why it's difficult for you to help yourself."

"No you don't…" Momo said.

"Don't I?" Miyone said quietly in a much softer voice. She put her hands beneath her dark hair, drawing it back before lifting it off of her head. Momo stared at her with wide eyes. Miyone held her 'hair' in her hands, revealing her head to be largely bald with only a few thin patches of wispy hair.

"Miyone…what…?"

"When I was eight, I was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia," Miyone said, "Ordinarily, it is at least fairly curable and has a semi-decent survival rate, but my parents didn't take me to get treatment until the symptoms were already severe. By that time, the disease was already in an advanced stage, and the doctors only gave me a thirty percent chance of survival. My mom didn't want to spend her money on treatments, and by the time my dad convinced her to pay for it, my chances were even lower. They gave me a combination of chemotherapy, bone marrow transplants, and radiation therapy to treat it. The chemo made me really sick and caused all of my hair to fall out. It was hell. I got so sick that I could barely eat anything. I caught a virus afterwards due to my weakened immune system, which just made things worse. I was rarely able to leave my bed, and I lost half my body weight over the course of six months. They said that my hair would grow back, but it didn't. I just felt awful, and there were times that I wanted to die. The only bright news was that the leukemia seemed to have been largely cured. Later though, I found out that it was only weakened, not eliminated, and that I'd have to go through all of those painful treatments all over again. My mom didn't want to have to pay for another round of treatment, and tried to convince me to refuse it, which I'll admit I considered. I was so weak by that time, that I was almost hoping for death. Staying alive had become an agonizing experience, and I didn't know if I would even survive more of those types of treatments. In the end, I decided to fight it and not give up. It was two long years before I beat leukemia, but because I fought and didn't give up, I'm here today. Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you believe me when I say that I understand what you're going through?"

"I…I don't know," Momo said, "You had a horrible disease, but you still at least had a chance of surviving. My problem isn't a disease that can be 'fought', it's my own heart. My heart is too weak to keep beating for a normal lifetime. It doesn't matter how hard I try to fight it, it's literally impossible for me to survive. I'm sorry, but our situations aren't really the same."

"Do you really think that means I don't know what you're going through? Look me in the eyes and listen to what I say: I know what it feels like to lie awake at night wondering how long you're going to live. I know the despair and pain you feel when death seems certain. I know how lonely it can be when you're surrounded by people who don't share your pain and don't know what it's like. I know the fear that engulfs every aspect of life. I know the depression and grief. I know how it feels to want to just give up so that the misery will be over. I know how hard it is to fight… I know Momo, I know," Miyone said, tears coming to her eyes, "I know what it's like Momo, and that's why I'm telling you this. Don't give up hope, and don't abandon your friends."

"I…I don't know what to do," Momo whispered, tears falling from her eyes, "How can I have hope when it's so certain I'm going to die? How can I stay with my friends when it's going to be so hard to say goodbye to them? I just…I don't think I can do that. I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to do what you did."

"Well, I can neither force you to fight on nor tell you what will make things better, all I can do is implore you not to give up on your friends or on life," Miyone said, putting her wig back on, "I've been rough on you in the past, I know, but I really am saying this to help you. If you won't do it for yourself, at least do it for Toushiro."

"Toushiro?" Momo said. A strange look came over Miyone that Momo couldn't identify. Was it sadness? Uncertainty? Jealousy?

"Toushiro really cares about you," Miyone said, "In the short time I've known him, he's probably become the best friend I've ever had. He is a very kind and caring person. You are a very precious person to him, and I don't think he could ever be completely happy without you in some part of his life. As his friend, I feel that it's my duty to tell you that."

"I…I…" Momo stuttered, unsure how to respond.

"I'd better get going," Miyone said abruptly, turning to leave, "Remember what I said."

With that, Miyone left, leaving Momo alone in the house. Momo let out a deep breath and returned to the canvas she had sketched on. She removed the sheet she had placed over it, and gazed longingly upon the drawing of Toushiro she had made. Tears trickled down her cheeks.

"Toushiro…what should I do?"

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to AznVKai, lovelyxpeach, Merciless Ruby, FrozenIceCream, Momo21, xIxLikeMusicx, PhoenixSong4232, rolf-Hitsugaya, MoonlightView, lil katie, Sonozaki-sama, JoaNymAr12, nexuswarrior, Momo-Toushiro, Yozoro Miyoko-BlackrockShooter, and deidarafangirl2 for reviewing! Please review!


	10. Chapter 10

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 10_

Toushiro sat hunched over, a brooding look on his face. He clenched his fists out of frustration. The revelation of Momo's condition had shaken him to the core. He didn't know what he thought was happening, but it certainly wasn't what she had told him. Even now, several days after being told, her words hadn't quite sunk in. The idea that Momo was actually dying was something that he could barely wrap his mind around. He had wanted to help her, that's why he befriended her, but this wasn't something he could help. If what Momo said was true, there was nothing he could do that could possibly help her.

Toushiro didn't know what to do. He cared so much for Momo, but there was nothing he could do to help her, and she made it quite clear that she didn't want to see him again. That was what hurt him the most. The thought of a close friend dying was painful enough, but it was made worse by her not wanting to see him anymore. He could vaguely understand her reasoning in not wanting to become attached to friends, but the idea of it still sounded horrible to him. What point was there to life if it was spent in misery?

Even if she was destined to die, he still wished that she would still give him the chance to be with her and comfort her so she could at least die happy. That didn't seem likely to happen however. Momo was adamant that her friends stay away, and he felt like nothing he could do would change that.

"Damn it…" he muttered.

"Why don't you try calling her?" Rangiku asked.

"It wouldn't do any good. She'd hang up the moment she found out it was me," he said.

"You should at least try, just to let her know you still care about her."

"Shut up," Toushiro grumbled, "A maid isn't supposed to abandon their work to chit-chat. Just go back to cleaning up."

"Your parents didn't just hire me to clean up, they hired me to take care of you, and I think that includes helping you out with your emotional difficulties," Rangiku said.

"Even if I wanted help, I wouldn't want it from you. Now leave me alone," Toushiro growled.

"Toushiro, this is no time to be acting grumpy! Our friend needs us!" Rangiku said.

"What, you didn't hear her? She pretty much said that we're not her friends and that she has no intention of being our friends," Toushiro said bitterly.

"Don't say that! Momo is still our friend, and right now she needs us more than ever!" Rangiku insisted.

"She doesn't want to be our friend," Toushiro said, growing increasingly bitter with every word, "No matter what kindnesses we extend to her, no matter how dedicated we are to helping her, she simply wants nothing to do with us. If she wants to die alone and miserable, fine; good for her."

"How can you say that? You care the most about her of any of us!" Rangiku said, shocked by his harsh words.

"I do, but I can't force her to accept our help. It's her decision, so the best thing to do would be to just forget about her."

"You don't really mean that! I don't believe that you could ever truly mean such cruel words!" Rangiku said, "Momo is emotionally confused right now. Think of how scary it must be for her! I can't even imagine what it must be like to live as she lives. She needs friends who won't give up on her, even when she's given up on herself."

"And what do you propose doing? She says she's going to die, and I have no reason to believe she's exaggerating. What can be done to help her? Even if we somehow convince her to let us comfort her, it won't change the cold fact that she will likely die very soon. She's committed herself to believing that having friends and being happy would be the worst thing ever and that she should just isolate herself and wait to die. Nothing we can say will change her mind about it, and trying will just cause pain for her and us. It…it may be kinder to her to just respect her wishes and let her fade away quietly."

"But you care so much for her. I see it in your eyes every time you look at her. In fact, I think you might even lo-"

"Don't say it!" Toushiro interrupted, "Don't say that! There's no point in even thinking about it! At this point, there is literally nothing we can do. It's a lost cause, so don't make it any worse than it already is!" He stood up and stormed off to his room, slamming the door behind him.

---

Rangiku knocked on the door.

"Momo?" she called, knocking again, "Momo, come out of there." There was no response.

Rangiku had come to talk to Momo, but she wouldn't open the door for her. She knocked again.

"Momo, come on! I know you're there Momo! Just come out and we can talk!" she called. After a brief silence, there was a click and the door opened a crack, revealing Momo's face.

"Momo…" Momo's eyes were red and her face was streaked with tears.

"Please just go, Rangiku," she said, "I'm so confused right now, I… I just don't know what to do or think! I wanted to avoid this sort of thing, but now that it's happened, please just let me be alone."

"Momo, you don't have to put yourself through all of this," Rangiku said softly, "Let your friends help you. If you give us the chance, we'll be there to support you until the very end."

"I know you would," Momo sniffled, "But I don't think I could go through that. It won't just be pain for me, all of you would grieve for me if I became close to all of you again. The best thing all of you could do is forget about me."

"But we can't forget about you, you're to special and important to forget about. And what about Toushiro? How can you expect him to forget about you?"

"What do you mean?" Momo said shakily.

"Haven't you realized it by now?" Rangiku said quietly, "Momo, Toushiro loves you." Momo's eyes widened.

"I… no, he can't! That's… I have to go," Momo said, "I'm sorry." She closed the door, locking it behind her.

Rangiku sighed. What was she going to do? Momo wouldn't listen to reason, at least not right now. If given time, she might eventually accept their support, but with her condition that time may be a substantial part of her life.

Rangiku wandered into town as she tried to think of what could be done to help Momo accept the friendship and support of those who cared about her. If she could get Toushiro to resume attempting to get through to her, it would be easier, but Toushiro seemed to have all but given up. While in town, she noticed an ice cream shop that had a special on her favorite flavor. She frowned to herself and tried to resist the temptation. She was trying to think of ways to help a friend; she couldn't get distracted by ice cream! In the end though, she was unable to resist the allure of the ice cream and walked inside to order.

"Hello, welcome to Dempsey's Ice Cream Parlor, how can I help-"

"Miyone?! What are you doing here?" Rangiku said in surprise. Miyone stood behind the counter wearing a red and white striped suit and hat that looked rather ridiculous.

"Oh, um, hi Rangiku," Miyone said, "I work here. May I take your order?"

"How long have you been working here? I've never seen you here before!" Rangiku said.

"I took the job a week ago. May I take your order?" Miyone repeated.

"Listen Miyone, I know this is an awkward request, but I need you to talk to Toushiro for me. He won't listen to me, and-"

"Rangiku! I'm working right now!" Miyone whispered, "I could lose my job if my boss sees me having a conversation with you. My shifts over in two hours. Meet me by Brady Town Park then and I'll talk to you there! Now may I take your order?"

"Oh okay… I guess I'll have a large strawberry ice cream in a waffle cone then…"

---

Rangiku sat in the park, waiting for Miyone. She knew that Miyone and Momo weren't friends, but she didn't know who else to turn to. She knew about Momo's condition, and she was a close friend of Toushiro, so logically she was the best person to talk to him on the issue. Rangiku wasn't sure what to do after that, but she was sure that they'd figure something out.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

Rangiku looked over to see Miyone standing next to the park bench she was sitting on.

"Yes, take a seat," Rangiku said, gesturing for her to sit down next to her, "I was hoping to talk about Toushiro."

"Yes, I thought you might," Miyone said.

"I need you to talk to Toushiro," Rangiku said, "He's acting weird. I think he's on the verge of giving up on Momo."

"It's natural that he would act unusual in these circumstances. Discovering that a friend is afflicted with a terminal condition is very upsetting. It makes perfect sense that he wouldn't know how to react," Miyone said.

"But if he keeps this up, I think he might really give up on Momo! She's too much of a mess right now to think clearly. She needs the support of her friends now more than ever, and Toushiro might give up on her at this critical time!"

"I understand your concern," Miyone said, "However, I have a question to ask you. Do you want to give her your support, or do you want to force her to accept your support?"

"What do you mean?" Rangiku asked.

"It is impossible for you to truly understand Momo's situation. She is feeling despair, confusion, and fear," Miyone said.

"I know, that's why it's important that her friends help her," Rangiku said insistently. Miyone sighed and shook her head.

"That is of course a wonderful thing for friends to do, but unless she accepts it on her own initiative, it will do no good," she explained, "From Momo's perspective, death is certain and it could come at any time. Because of that, she thinks that making friends and being happy will make her death more painful. To her, that reasoning is not at all flawed and makes perfect sense. 'What's the point of making friends or enjoying life if I'm going to die anyways?' 'Is the happiness of being with friends worth compounding the pain of death?' 'Isn't it unfair to befriend people when I know that I'm setting them up to grieve for me in a short time?' These are the sorts of thoughts that are going through her head. Right now, she has decided to reject all offers of help and support because of this, and there's no way to force her to accept help."

"But she's not thinking clearly! It would be irresponsible to give up on her based on things she says at a time where she is unable to be reasonable," Rangiku said.

"I'm not suggesting that you give up on her, I'm saying that if she is to accept the support you offer, it must be of her own will, free of interference. You can still offer your support, but there's no way to make her accept it. Everything is up to her. She can decide to be happy with friends or she can spend the rest of her life alone. Likewise, she can decide to fight against her condition or she can lay back and fade quietly away. Only she will be able to decide."

"You're probably right, but I'm not sure I can just watch while a friend allows herself to be miserable when she could be happy," Rangiku said.

"That's understandable, but you must respect her decision, even if you think it is the wrong one," Miyone said.

"I guess so…" Rangiku sighed, "What about Toushiro? What should I do with him and Momo? The relationship they share isn't like the one between myself and Momo. What can be done to help him not give up on her?"

"He won't give up on her," Miyone said quietly.

"Huh? What makes you think that?" Rangiku asked.

"Because it's not like him. His feelings towards Momo are strong. He wouldn't give up on them. He might work out his feelings in a way that will result in his not being involved with Momo, platonically or otherwise, but he won't simply 'give up'. He's just not like that," Miyone said, "He's a kind, intelligent person. In the end, he may indeed decide that he cannot continue pursuing a relationship with Momo, but the idea of him simply giving up is ludicrous! Such a thing is beneath a person like him. I don't know what his feelings for Momo are, nor do I know the nature of her feelings for him, but I'm confident that they will work out their feelings in a mature manner." Rangiku stared at Miyone for several long moments.

"And what are your feelings for Toushiro?" she asked quietly. Miyone seemed to jump a little at the question.

"W-what do you mean?" she asked in surprise.

"What are your feelings towards Toushiro?" Rangiku said. Miyone gulped.

"I…can't say for certain. He's a dear friend, a very dear friend. He's given me support with my family issues and has been much kinder to me than anyone else before him. I've always been considered a bit of a 'nerd' and a 'cold girl', but Toushiro's treated me very well. Our personalities are similar, we understand eachother, and we're both rather intellectual. He is without question my best friend, and I obviously have strong feelings for him."

"And would those feelings extend to romantic attraction?" Rangiku asked.

"They…they might…" Miyone said slowly, "I cannot deny that I do have some degree of, erm, 'affection' towards Toushiro, but such thought will have to be put off for the time being."

"And why is that?"

"Why do you think? Because Toushiro still hasn't worked out his feelings for Momo," Miyone said, "It would be a betrayal of our friendship to entertain such thoughts while he is still unsure of his feelings, and it would certainly be unfair if I were to put myself between them, especially given the circumstances with Momo. They both care a lot about eachother, and until they figure things out, I can't interfere. I could never even think of entering a relationship with Toushiro unless he has come to terms with his feelings about Momo."

"That's really considerate of you Miyone. I'm a bit surprised to be honest, I thought you didn't like Momo," Rangiku said.

"I'm still not sure about her, but…let's just say we have more in common than we thought," Miyone said, "Besides, I'm not just holding back for Momo, I'm doing it for Toushiro's sake. He has a lot of things to decide, and it's not going to be easy for him."

---

Toushiro stared at the ceiling as he laid in bed. It was too early to go to sleep, but late enough that he wasn't in the mood to leave his room. All he could do was think of Momo and what on earth he could possibly do.

It was difficult to imagine what Momo was going through, and he had no idea what he could do to make things better for her; or indeed, if he even should take actions to help her. The way he saw it, there were several possible ways this could turn out.

One: He do as Momo requested and leave her alone to die peacefully and without internal conflict. Two: Leaving her alone and not reaching out to her causes her life to become miserable and meaningless, resulting in a painful death while full of regret. Three: He insist on befriending her and making her life happy, only for Momo's predictions to come true and result in a stressful death. Four: He support her and make her happy, resulting in her being happy that she was able to truly live a happy life and end with her dying peacefully and without regret. Five: He convince her to accept friendship and to fight against her condition, eventually by some miracle finding a cure. She would then be able to live the rest of her life happily and without the constant fear that dominated her current existence.

All but one of these possibilities would be tragic to some degree, and that one was the least likely. Toushiro had been called a genius at times, but trying to figure out what to do in this case was making him feel stupid and helpless. What could he possibly do to help Momo? How would he convince her to accept his help? And if he could do that, what next? She would likely die within a few years; what would he do after that?

It was a horrible thought, but one that could not be avoided. Momo would, in all likelihood, die, and if he were to become emotionally or romantically attached to her, it would make things very difficult to go back to living a normal life afterwards. Of course, that was irrelevant, as even now he knew he could not go back to living his life as if Momo had never been a part of it. He refused in his thoughts to even consider the 'L-word' in this situation. Even thinking it made him feel strange and awkward. It would be irresponsible on both of their parts to be in such a relationship, and it wasn't like he was actively thinking about it or anything…

He sighed heavily. He had to figure out what to do soon, or he'd never be able to get on with his life.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to nexuswarrior, Hinata-cutie, MoonLightView, naruhinax, Momo-Toushiro, FrozenIceCream, liquid prince, rolf-hitsugaya, Merciless Ruby, JoaNymAr12, AznVKai, cool, lovelyxpeach, Momo21, iLiveInYourCloset, Sonozaki-sama, dee, simplyxcomplicated, and karen c for reviewing! Please review!


	11. Chapter 11

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 11_

Months went by. Most young people spent the summer enjoying themselves, but not Momo. To her, time felt incoherent. Every day was the same as the last. She would wake up, eat, maybe read or paint, and then eat again before going to bed. All of her actions were done in a dazed state.

She did this because thinking was just too mentally taxing and confusing. There were so many things on her mind that if she thought of one, soon they would all pop up. Thus, it was easier to just keep her mind completely clear and live as if she were some sort of zombie. It was better that way. There were way too many things to think about. There was the usual mix of conflicting emotions over her inevitable death, but there were now also the things Toushiro, Rangiku, and Miyone had said to her. They had encouraged her not only to accept comfort and support from her friends, but to fight her condition.

This was the worst conflict for Momo. They were clearly willing to help her, and she didn't exactly have anything to lose by accepting their help, but…she couldn't. Even Miyone, who had once been in a similar situation to her, was unable to compel her to truly fight to survive. This led to guilt, as she was turning away people who truly cared about her.

Thinking about this and everything else brought so many confusing emotions to Momo that she just shut out all coherent thought. She didn't pay any attention to it, she simply detached herself from reality. Every time she received a phone call from a friend, she didn't answer it. Every letter was left unopened. The only people she talked to were a few hospital workers and school staff. She had no interest in interacting with anyone else.

When school started in the fall, Momo did not attend. She didn't want to see her old friends and have to feel pressured and sad. Between that and the bullying that would certainly occur, school would be intolerable. Thus, she opted to take online courses for the final credits needed to graduate. She wondered why she even did that, seeing as she wouldn't live long enough to put a high school diploma to use; she supposed she simply felt obligated to complete school.

It was difficult, but it was the only way. If she allowed herself to become emotionally involved in her life even a little, it would surely cause her to completely break down. She could only shut out the unpleasant thoughts and act as if they didn't exist. That was the only way she could live as she awaited death.

---

Toushiro sighed as he sat in his seat, not listening to the teacher speaking at the front of the class. It was the last day of the first week of school. He had searched all week, but no matter where he looked, he could not find Momo. He had looked throughout all of his classes and searched the cafeteria at lunch every day, but he never saw her. He even asked his friends and walked around the halls during breaks, but this yielded no results either. The only conclusion to be made was that Momo had stopped attending school.

Toushiro felt like cursing. There was simply no way he could contact her. She never answered phone calls and never responded to the letters he sent her. Even when he came to her house directly, she wouldn't answer the door for him. She had completely shut herself off from him. What was he going to do? He couldn't continue to live like this. He wanted to be with Momo; to comfort her and make her happy, but she wouldn't allow him to even come near her. He had told himself that she was just acting under emotional stress, but he was beginning to think that maybe she really didn't want to be with him.

The thought hurt. He really cared for Momo. It was not logical, and there was no reason for him to care about her this much, but…he did. He could not deny it, his feelings for Momo were strong. He tried not to think of just how far his feelings might go; he would have to reestablish his friendship with Momo before he even _thought_ about that. He didn't know how he would do it, or even if he should. The thought of Momo living the rest of her life alone, friendless, and devoid of hope was a horrible one, but he couldn't just force her to be friends with him again. He couldn't even attempt to influence her, as she refused to even be in contact with him

"Hey Toushiro, are you awake?" Rukia said. He looked up, realizing that class was over and the other students were leaving the room. He tiredly stood up, pulling his backpack over his shoulder and walking out of the room. He had nothing to do after school, so he simply wandered slowly into town.

As usual, his thoughts were dominated by Momo. He couldn't get her out of his mind. Her sweet smile and gentle features were permanently etched into his mind. He wanted to see her again. He wanted to share joy with her when she smiled and hold her and comfort her when she was sad. He just wanted to be with her, yet it appeared that he would not get the chance to even speak with her again.

When he passed Momo's run-down house, he could only stare longingly at it. The curtains were pulled across the windows, so he couldn't see inside. There was no sign of Momo, and the yard was messy and covered in weeds. He felt the urge to go knock on the door, but decided against it. She would not answer it, just like all of the times before. As he stared at the house, he was startled to realize that he was subconsciously thinking of ways to sneak in. He nearly smacked himself for this. He wanted to see Momo, but he certainly wasn't going to resort to stalker-style behavior to do it! Then again, he supposed that what he had already been doing might be considered by some to be reminiscent of a stalker.

Sighing, he walked away from the house. He wandered all the way through town until he was at the park on the lake at the north side of town. He watched a pair of ducks squabbling over scraps of food, recalling how a similar incident led to the first time he saw Momo's smile. It was an embarassing moment for him, as he was being attacked by ducks, but it did succeed in making Momo laugh and smile, which made up for it. He wished he could see Momo smile again. When she was happy, it seemed as if nothing in the world could be wrong. Her smile could light up a dark room and bring warmth to the coldest places.

Why wouldn't she let that happen again? She had been so happy when she was with Toushiro and the others, yet she had purposely forced herself to be miserable again. Nothing Toushiro did seemed able to break her out of that prison she built within her mind. Sighing for what seemed like the thousandth time that day, he left the park and began walking back into town.

He had to decide what he would do. There seemed to be nothing he could possibly do to help Momo, and his obsession over her was making him miserable in the process. He couldn't live his life like this, constantly seeking a girl who refused to have anything to do with him. As painful as the idea was, he knew he would have to forget about Momo. It was the only way he could hope for a normal life. He wanted to help her, but he had to take his own life into consideration as well. As long as he continued to long for Momo to return to him, he would never be able to live his life normally.

As he walked along the sidewalk in his deep thought, he bumped into someone.

"Oof! Sorry," Toushiro said.

"Tha-that's okay, I'm… Oh, Toushiro, it's you!"

Toushiro noticed at the same moment who it was: Miyone.

"Oh, hey Miyone," he said awkwardly, "Sorry about that."

"No problem," Miyone said, "I'm just off to work. I was actually just about to put on my 'hat of shame'." She placed a red and white striped hat on her head that completed her silly-looking uniform.

"Well, I guess I'll see you then," she said, walking off to the ice cream parlor where she worked. Toushiro looked after her as she walked away, an idea crossing his mind.

"Hey Miyone, wait a moment," he said before she walked to far away. Miyone turned around to regard him.

"Yeah, is there something you need?" she asked. Toushiro gulped as he prepared to speak.

_Sorry Momo,_ he thought to himself.

---

Momo yawned as she turned off her computer. That was it for her online 'classes' today. It was now late November. She had been doing this for several months. At the rate she was going, she would easily get enough credits for a high school diploma. She wouldn't really need it of course, but it would still be nice to have, just so that she could say to herself that she accomplished _something_, even if it was very basic.

Painting and reading helped calm her, and her life was relatively peaceful, yet…it wasn't complete. She knew perfectly well what it was that was missing of course, and she was quite adamant that she would keep her mind off it. The more she thought about Toushiro, the more likely it was that she would lose this peaceful state she had finally achieved. He was an amazing person, there was no doubting that, but he simply wasn't for her.

Toushiro had a life ahead of him, he didn't need her to slow him down. It would be better for both of them if they just forgot about eachother. Despite all of her efforts though, Momo could not forget about him. Toushiro was too amazing a person to just forget. His unusual, rather attractive, appearance was only part of what made him memorable. He acted cold, yet deep down he was so sweet and considerate. No other person had ever tried as hard as him to help her, and despite the stress it was causing her, Momo could not help but be grateful. He was noble, kind, and trustworthy, and had Momo's circumstances been different, she would love to be with him.

She could not though. Her time on earth was too limited to form relationships. The memories of the happiness she felt when she was with him tempted her, but she resisted. It was too difficult. The same went for her other friends. They had all treated her well, but she couldn't be with them. It wasn't fair, but it was the way things were and she had to accept that.

There was one thing that did cause her much conflict however: The things Miyone had said to her. That caused her to question herself more than anything else. Miyone had lived through a deadly disease, and experienced much suffering, yet she didn't give up. She persevered, and ended up surviving. Momo on the other hand had just given up, and she felt guilty because of it. She had thought about what Miyone said about fighting for life and accepting the support of others, and it made perfect sense…but Momo could not do it. Maybe she was too weak or too sick, but she could not bring herself to fight the way Miyone did.

She was trapped. She was completely trapped and felt unable to do anything. Miyone had made it clear that it was up to her and only her to fight, but she couldn't do it. She didn't know how she could. Miyone hadn't elaborated on how she had mustered the resolve to fight her disease. She just left it up to Momo to figure it out on her own.

Momo took a deep breath to calm her nerves and looked over to the file cabinet at the other side of the room. That was where she kept all of the letters she received. She hadn't opened them, but she kept them safely stored away. She stood up and walked over. She opened the file cabinet and pulled out a large stack of letters. After taking a letter-opener from another drawer, she went to the couch to look over the letters. Among the many letters was one from Miyone. Momo hadn't thought to open it before, but now could not help but wondering if it contained some tip that she had not told Momo before. Momo opened the letter with shaking hands and read it.

"_To Momo,_

_I hope you took heed to what I said. I'm not very good at writing 'motivational' type letters like this, so I'll simply reiterate what I said before: Don't give up, and be strong. We haven't always been on the best terms, but I know what you are going through, and I know that you can fight this if you are determined enough. That's all I can really say._

_-Miyone"_

Momo stared at the letter for several moments before crumpling it up. That was no more helpful than what she had said before! Sure, she should 'fight' and be 'strong' but she didn't know how! Miyone was probably trying to say that she had to find the answer of how to do this within herself, but Momo had no clue how to do that either!

Realizing that she was becoming stressed out, Momo took a deep breath and cleared her mind. She looked back down at the other letters and felt curiosity overtaking her. She picked out two from Rukia and Rangiku, opening them to read.

"_Dear Momo,_

_I know it's hard for you right now. Well okay, I guess I don't understand completely, but I do know that you're going through a lot of pain. Just remember that your friends will be there for you when you're ready to accept their help. I don't really know what to say to someone in your position, only that I care about you as a friend and hope you don't give up._

_-Love, Rukia"_

"_Dear Momo,_

_This is a tough time for you. You're going through things that nobody should have to go through. You're under a lot of emotional stress and pain, and it is understandable that you're confused about what to do. Let me plead with you however: Don't give up, and don't abandon your friends. We all care about you and will do anything we can to help. Just please remember that. You're a good person, and deserve a happier life than the one you're forcing yourself to live through._

_-From, Rangiku"_

Momo let out another sigh. That was just the sort of thing she would expect Rangiku and Rukia to say. She felt sad that she had to reject their requests, but she couldn't do as they said. She looked down at the rest of the mail, most of which was from Toushiro. She bit her lip, trying to resist the urge to open them. Given the emotions she had towards Toushiro, it wasn't a good idea to read these letters. She couldn't help herself though, and soon found herself opening one letter after another.

"_Dear Momo,_

_I hope you're doing better. I wish that you would let me help you. I don't know what I can do, but I assure you that if you allowed me, I would be there for you. Our other friends would do the same. You're a precious person Momo, I can't let you be miserable like this. I don't know what I should do, and I can only hope that this letter will reach. Please, please, please don't give up. We care about you. I care about you. Don't let yourself be unhappy any longer Momo, let us help you._

_-Toushiro"_

"_Dear Momo,_

_Remember how happy you were before, when you spent time with me and the others. Was that really so bad? I can vaguely understand your reasoning for wanting to be alone, but how can you possibly choose that over the happiness you experienced only a short time ago? Your smile is among the most beautiful things I've seen, and it is a tragedy that you refuse to show it. You deserve happiness Momo, can't you see that? Be happy and enjoy life. What good is life if it's spent in sadness? Please don't live your life like that Momo, you deserve better._

_-Toushiro"_

"_Dear Momo,_

_You haven't responded to my last two letters, so I suppose you must still be avoiding contact with me. I don't know how I can help you, but I really want to. I can't promise that I will cure your condition or make all of your sadness go away, but I can comfort you and be with you. Can't you see how important it is to me to help you? I'll do anything for you. Just please, please, please don't give up. Don't give up on yourself or on me and your other friends. We all care about you too much to let you go like this._

_-Toushiro"_

"_Dear Momo,_

_I know this may seem like a lost cause, but it's not to me. I will continue reaching out to you. I don't know how to say this, nor do I know how you'll react to it. I only just realized it as I sat down to write this, and will probably push it from my mind later, but it must be said. Momo, I love you. This is a sudden declaration, I know, but it is truly sincere. There is nothing I would not do for you Momo. I do not know how it is I fell in love with you or how I did not realize it until now, but it is the truth. I really, truly, love you Momo. I beg you to let me help you. Even if you do not feel the same way about me, at least allow me to do everything I can to help you. Please Momo, I don't know what to do. I love you, yet you've shut yourself off from me and everyone else. I have no way to contact you, and don't even know if I'll ever see you again. I don't know what I will do. It would probably be healthier for me if I just forgot about you, but right now I'm afraid I can't, and until I can, I will still be waiting for you. I care so much about you Momo, so please don't do this to yourself._

_-Love, Toushiro"_

Momo did not remember the exact moment that she began crying. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she read the letter. It was true then…Toushiro really did love her. For a moment she was overcome by many different emotions. Pain from the realization that she had established just the type of relationship that she had long tried to avoid; fear for what would happen in the future, regret that she had not realized this sooner; and a bittersweet sense of happiness at the knowledge that someone really did care about her.

All of this was overshadowed moments later however when she felt herself explode with the most potent emotion of all: love. It hit her without warning. In an instant, all of the happiness she felt around Toushiro and the strange affection she held for him made sense. She loved him; she loved Toushiro Hitsugaya! Tears ran freely down her cheeks. How had she not realized this before? She loved him! She really did love him! Her fears and reservations about forming relationships were blown away by this sense of love. She loved Toushiro and wanted to be with him, even if it was only for the short time that remained in her life.

She looked at the envelope. The letter was sent in mid-August, several months ago. She had ignored this for so long… she had to set things right! She looked at the clock, and saw that it was around lunch period at school. She could make it over there and talk to Toushiro right now!

Without even thinking, Momo put on her shoes and left the house, making a beeline for school. She did not care that she did not officially attend there anymore, she only cared about seeing Toushiro and telling him that she loved him in return. When she arrived at the school, she dashed through the crowded hallways to the cafeteria. Lunch was currently going on, and the place was very busy. Momo looked around, but could see no sign of Toushiro. She did however spot someone else.

"Rangiku!" Momo called. Rangiku turned around in surprise.

"Momo? What are you doing here?!" she asked in astonishment.

"I'll tell you later. Where's Toushiro?" Momo asked hurriedly.

"What?"

"Where's Toushiro?! I need to say something to him!" Momo said.

"Well around this time, he usual walks around the halls in the east wing of school with-"

"Thanks!" Momo interrupted, running off.

"Wait, there's something I need to tell you! Toushiro is-" but before she could finish, Momo was already gone.

Momo ran through the halls of the school's east wing. There were only a few people there, so it wasn't hard to search. She soon spotted Toushiro's bright white hair, and immediately ran forward.

"Toushiro!" she called, a wide smile on her face. This was it…

Toushiro turned around, his eyes wide as he saw who it was.

"M-Momo?!" he said in shock, "Why are you here?"

"I have to tell you something Toushiro," Momo said.

"Momo, this, um, isn't the best time," Toushiro said, looking away nervously.

"Why not?" Momo asked.

It was only then that she noticed that Miyone was standing next to Toushiro. She too was avoiding eye contact with Momo. Momo's gaze went downwards, and she saw that they were holding hands. As the realization of what was going on hit her, Momo felt her heart shatter into a million pieces.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Thank you to rolf-hitsugaya, nexuswarrior, AznVKai, Momo-Toshiro, Merciless Ruby, Sonozaki-sama, DW64, kRyStAlt3aRz, FrozenIceCream, MoonLightView, naruhinax, Animecouplefreak, JoaNymAr12, lovelyxpeach, dee, and lil katie for reviewing! Please review!


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N_: Thank you to kRyStAlt3aRz, AznVKai, Momo21, Momo-Toshiro, JoaNymAr12, Hinata-cutie, Merciless Ruby, music-rox, MoonLightView, SnowFlakeInc, Sonozaki-sama, Kay Hitsugaya, rolf-Hitsugaya, nexuswarrior, liquid prince, DW64, shadowrabbit, lovelyxpeach and naruhinax for reviewing last chapter! I'd like to give a few responses to my reviewers here:

liquid prince: The way I see it, his reaction was due to the shock of seeing her and the fact that he was with Miyone, which made him especially nervous and awkward. Had he been alone, he probably would have handled it a bit better.

shadowrabbit: Thanks for the constructive criticism. I agree that there are some issues with Momo seeming a bit overly 'angsty' but I felt that if I sped things up, it would make things flow to quickly. It was sort of a trade-off. And Momo acting irrationally was sort of the point: what she was doing was unhealthy, and while that's clear to us, the readers, her actions made perfect sense to her. Also, I just thought I'd add that I personally don't consider this to be a 'high-school fanfic' as the story is not really about the school itself, that's just the setting I felt would work best for the plot. (I'd email you like you suggested, but I'm afraid I don't know your email address)

Everyone who was pissed at Toushiro: I can understand your feelings, but try to see things from his point of view. Someone he cared a lot about and did everything he could to help had essentially pushed him away with the intent of never seeing him again. It will be elaborated upon in this chapter, but just try to understand Toushiro's feelings.

Thanks for all of the great reviews! Here's an early chapter as thanks!

* * *

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 12_

Momo cried into Rangiku's shoulder. Rangiku held the sobbing girl close, trying to comfort her. They were at Momo's house, where Rangiku had gone after school to find Momo crying about the revelation of Toushiro's relationship with Miyone.

"It's okay Momo, it's okay…" she said soothingly.

"No it's not!" Momo wailed, "I finally…I finally realize that I love him, and he goes off with Miyone! It's not fair! I…I can't go back to living like before now! I don't know what to do! It's just not fair!"

"I'm sorry Momo," Rangiku said, patting her on the back.

"W-why did he decide to be with Miyone? He…he said in the letter that he loved me!" Momo said.

"Well, I suppose Toushiro just decided that he couldn't wait anymore. He worried about you constantly and was always calling you and sending you letters, but you never responded. Every time he went to your house, you wouldn't answer the door. It was frustrating for him. He really did care about you, and you were basically rejecting him. I guess he just ended up feeling that there was no point to attempting to reach out to you further, and went out with somebody else to make himself forget about you."

"So it's my own fault then…" Momo said sadly.

"No no, it's not your fault," Rangiku quickly reassured her, "Toushiro was just confused about what to do. He wanted to be with you but at the time it seemed that he'd never be able to see you again, so for his own sake he began dating Miyone, probably in the hope that he might get over his feelings for you if he were with someone else. I don't think that happened though; I'm sure he still has feelings for you if you gave him a chance. You two could still end up together."

"No…he was probably right in his decision," Momo said, "At the time, I had no intention of ever seeing Toushiro again. I was the one who rejected him, and now I'm just paying the price for it. Besides, he's with Miyone now. I wouldn't want to get between them."

"What are you going to do then?" Rangiku asked.

"I don't know," Momo sighed, "I don't think I can go back to living a solitary and secluded life again. It was foolish of me to try after I met you and Toushiro and the others. Too much has happened now. I guess I'll just try to live as normal a life as possible until my time comes. I can only hope that Toushiro will still want to be friends with me."

"It's not completely hopeless," Rangiku said.

"No…it probably is. Let's face it, Toushiro and I were never meant to be romantically involved. Even if I hadn't rejected him for so long, there's still the fact that we'll never be able to engage in a real relationship. I don't have long enough for that, and Toushiro deserves better. Miyone is a much better match for him anyways. She at least will have the potential to make him happy for the rest of his life. Yes, it's better if I just remain friends with him and forget about any romance. I'm not going to go back to moping around like before, so I can still make a good life for myself before I die."

"But you love him, will your life really be complete without him?" Rangiku asked.

"Maybe not, but it's better than trying to pursue a relationship with him when I know it will never happen. It's just…pointless."

Rangiku looked at Momo in silence for several moments.

"I'm taking you to see Toushiro," she said.

"What?! Rangiku, no, I can't talk to him so soon! It's…it's just too awkward now! I'll work things out with him later, but now isn't a good time," Momo hastily said.

"No," Rangiku said, "It's better that you get this out of the way. The sooner you and Toushiro at the very least are able to come to terms with things, the better."

---

"I, uh, I have some food in the refrigerator if you're hungry," Toushiro said awkwardly to Miyone. They were at his house, where they normally went after school to talk and spend time together, but today there was a great deal of tension in the air.

"I…think we should talk," Miyone said quietly.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Toushiro said, sighing and walking over to the couch. He sat down and rubbed his forehead as Miyone sat down next to her.

"It…it was quite a surprise today, wasn't it?" she said quietly.

"Yeah… it was…" Toushiro responded slowly.

"Were you happy to see her again?" Miyone asked.

"I don't know…" Toushiro responded wearily.

"I think you were," Miyone noted calmly, "You were embarrassed, awkward, and a bit scared, but I think you were definitely happy to see her."

"Look Miyone, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean-"

"It's okay Toushiro. I understand," Miyone said, "You still need time to work out your feelings. I completely understand. If you wish, we could separate for a while so you have time to sort things out."

"No Miyone, that's not happening," Toushiro said firmly, "Anything that might have been between Momo and me is now over. I'm not interesting in ending our relationship. I'm not the type of person who would do something like that. Regardless of what may have happened between Momo and I in the past, I'm with you now, and I don't intend to change that."

"Do you really mean that Toushiro?" Miyone asked skeptically. Before Toushiro could answer, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Toushiro said, standing up. He went over to the door, but froze when he looked through the peep-hole. He rapidly turned to Miyone.

"It's Momo," he said.

"Good, this will give you and her a chance to talk and work things out," Miyone said. Toushiro shook his head.

"No…no I can't talk to her right now!" he said, "I'll just tell her that now is not a good time and she should come back later.

"No, you should probably talk to her now," Miyone said, "I'll go over to the other room so you two can talk alone."

"No, wait Miyone, I-" before he could finish, Miyone had left. Toushiro sighed and took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Hello Toushiro," Momo said softly.

"Hello Momo," Toushiro replied.

"Could…could we talk?" Momo asked.

"Yeah…we probably should," Toushiro said, standing to the side and ushering her in. He guided her over to the couch where they both sat down.

There was an awkward silence for a minute, as neither of them knew what to say. Eventually, Toushiro spoke nervously.

"It's, um, it's good to see you again Momo," he said. Momo nodded without speaking. Toushiro cleared his throat and spoke again. "I…I imagine you have a lot of questions about what happened while you were gone."

"Not really, I think I understand perfectly well what's going on," Momo said, "I'm too weak and stupid for you so you're going out with Miyone instead."

"No! That's not it!" Toushiro said in shock.

"You…you're right, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me to make me say that," Momo said, "I'm happy for you. I'm glad you were able to get over me so quickly."

"Momo, you don't know what you're saying…" Toushiro said, "I still care about you and you're still my friend."

"But you don't love me anymore, do you?" Momo asked.

"I…" Toushiro trailed off.

"I understand. What benefit is there for you to be with me? It's perfectly understandable," Momo said, "There's just one question I have to ask: Why did you need to lead me to believe that we could be together and then turn and break my heart? You even wrote a letter saying that you loved me. It…it was for that that I managed to pull myself out of my despair! I felt like I could start over again, but then… but then you and Miyone…"

"I'm sorry Momo, I really am. I never meant to hurt you like this, but…"

"But what?"

"But I just didn't see any other choice!" Toushiro finally said, "I didn't see any alternative. I know I hurt you, but don't you realize that you hurt me? I did everything I could to help you when others had just given up on you. I tried to make you happy and nurture friendship with you, but you turned around and rejected it all. I did everything I could to contact you; I was practically obsessive about you! It's true, I did love you, but it seemed that you didn't love me back and were determined to close yourself off. I loved you so much, yet you didn't want anything to do with me! I ended up with Miyone because I thought that I'd never even see you again, let alone actually have you return my feelings! Now that I'm with Miyone though, I can't just abandon her for you! I'm sorry, but it just can't work out! I…a part of me still loves you, but after you just abandoned me and refused to even speak with me, I just couldn't bring myself to invest the trust and emotion in a romantic relationship! I'm sorry! I just…I don't know what I was thinking, but I just couldn't live normally while I was constantly thinking of you. By being with Miyone, I was able to take my mind off of how much I missed you."

"I see…so it's my fault," Momo said.

"No Momo, that's not what I meant-"

"It's fine Toushiro, you were right," Momo said through tears, "Until I read your letter, I was planning on living the rest of my life alone with no contact with you. Despite everything you had done for me, I was just rejecting you. You were probably frustrated and upset by what I was putting you through. You cared about me and I was pushing you away so I could wallow in my misery. It was my own fault. You were completely within your rights to go out with Miyone. You don't have any obligation to me, I'm just a stupid dying girl who was too dumb to realize what I had until it was too late. You deserve someone like Miyone over me."

"Momo please, don't say that!" Toushiro said, "I…I really do care about you, I just didn't know what to do. I still don't! I don't want you to be sad or suffer because of something I did, and I'm sorry for everything I've done that's hurt you. Just please don't go back to suffering alone! I still want to be your friend, even if we can't be involved in a romantic relationship."

"I'd like to be your friend too, and I don't intend to go back to isolating myself in misery, but things between us can't be the same as they were before," Momo said, "I'm not sure I can be around you without feeling sad now. Besides, I wouldn't want to come between you and Miyone."

"Momo, please…" Toushiro said quietly.

"I'm sorry Toushiro, but I…have to go. Rangiku is waiting for me outside. She drove me here, and I can't keep her waiting. Goodbye, Toushiro," she said, tears coming from her eyes as she walked away. After she left, Toushiro groaned in frustration and gripped his forehead. What was he going to do?

"So is that it?"

Toushiro turned around to see Miyone standing behind the couch.

"Oh, hey Miyone. Sorry, I forgot you were here," he said.

"Yes, I can see that," she said, her voice wavering a little bit, "Is it true? What you said just now that is?"

"What do you mean?" Toushiro said nervously, "What part of what I said just now?"

"The part where you basically said that you only decided to be with me because you missed Momo and wanted to forget about her!" Miyone said, tears beginning to come to her eyes.

"Miyone, I didn't mean-"

"Please don't lie to me Toushiro, I know what you meant," Miyone said, "I knew that you still had some issues to work out regarding Momo, but when I agreed to go out with you, I thought you had at least made up your mind one whether you loved her or not! If you still had romantic feelings for her, I would have told you to wait before we actually began dating!"

"Miyone, I'm sorry! I never meant for something like this to happen! I was really confused and frustrated when I first asked you out, and maybe I was hoping to forget about Momo, but I still like you!"

"Toushiro, I love you!" Miyone said, "I mean it, I love you, but I feel like to you I'm just a replacement for Momo."

"Miyone, that's not it," Toushiro tried to assure her.

"Fine, then say that you love me," Miyone said. Toushiro hesitated for a moment.

"Miyone, I lo…I…I really, really like you," he said, "You're smart and I enjoy spending time with you. You're a good, caring friend who's always been there for me. You are attractive and everything I could possibly want in a partner. I like you a lot and I do want to be with you."

"I see…so you don't love me then? I really am just a substitute for Momo…" Miyone said sadly.

"I…I don't…" Toushiro stuttered.

"It's okay, I understand," Miyone said, "I'm sorry for being harsh just now, I just…I think I'd better go." Miyone walked away, leaving Toushiro behind.

Toushiro lowered his head and buried his face in his hands.

"I'm such an idiot…" he muttered to himself.


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N__:_ Thank you to Hinata-cutie, MoonLightView, naruhinax, Sexy-Hitsuhina-forever, Esulol, SnowFlakeInc, simplyxcomplicated, AznVKai, nexuswarrior, Merciless Ruby, rolf-hitsugaya, halliegirl, liquid prince, Momo21, DW64, Kay Hitsugaya, musix-rox12, lovelyxpeach, dee, Sonozaki-sama, and chococat450 for reviewing! I'll now respond to a few reviews.

Sonozaki-sama: Miyone is a character that you are supposed to have mixed feelings for. She really does want to be with Toushiro, so even though she no longer harbors ill will towards Momo, she is technically something of a romantic rival. It's natural for there to be times when such a character comes off as a bit annoying.

Nexuswarrior: Toushiro is having mixed feelings because he feels rather betrayed by Momo due to her rejecting him for so long. Also, Miyone is his friend and he probably feels that he has some sort of commitment to stay with her. Deep down, he really does love Momo, but due to circumstances he's having trouble coming to terms with that.

Sexy-Hitsuhina-Forever: I actually sort of agree with you. I wasn't completely satisfied with the latest few chapters either, but they were the best I could do without abandoning already established plot points. Also, it was either make Momo seem a bit angsty or have things progress way too quickly, so I chose the option that I felt was less harmful to the story overall. As for the HitsuHina, don't worry, it's getting there! It takes a bit of time, but it will be HitsuHina!

Please read and review!

* * *

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 13_

"And so that's what's really going on. I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you guys," Momo said.

Orihime, Tatsuki, Chizuru, Mahana, and Michiru stared at her in shock. She had just told them the truth about her condition and why she had acted the way she did in the past.

"You…you're dying?" Michiru said in shock. Momo nodded sadly.

"That…you have to be kidding, right?" Chizuru said.

"I'm afraid not," Momo said. Her friends looked like they were about to cry.

"Oh Momo… Oh Momo, I'm so sorry," Orihime cried, suddenly hugging her.

"It…it's okay…" Momo said. Orihime cried as she hugged her friend tightly.

"I'm sorry Momo, I had no idea! When you swatted away the birthday cupcakes for you, I was even a little mad. If you had told us about this…" she cried.

"Yeah Momo, why didn't you say something?" Tatsuki asked.

"I…I didn't want other people to know…" Momo said.

"But…but we could have helped you!" Orihime said, "At the very least we would have tried to cheer you up. Rukia, why didn't' you tell us about this?"

"I promised her that I would keep it secret," Rukia explained.

"But…but why are you telling us this now?" Mahana asked.

"I don't know," Momo admitted, "For so long, I just kept myself isolated from everyone out of fear of having to say goodbye to a happy life with friends. When Toushiro came along and tried to get me to be happy and make friends, which I did for a while. In reality though, I was just pushing my condition out of my mind, and when doing that began to fail, I broke down. After having a heart attack, I was reminded of my mortality and just tried to go back to the way it was before. No matter how hard I tried however, things could not go back to the way they were before. I knew how happy life could be if I gave it a chance. On top of that, I also realized something."

"What?" Tatsuki asked.

"I realized I love Toushiro," Momo said.

"I knew it!" Orihime said loudly, "I knew you and Toushiro were made for eachother!"

"Well actually, I'm afraid not," Momo sighed, "You all must know that he's going out with Miyone, don't you? He doesn't have any romantic feelings for me anymore. That's not the point of what I'm saying however. After realizing that I loved Toushiro, I knew that there was no way I could go back to being the introverted asocial person I used to be. Even without Toushiro, I don't want to go back to being alone. I want to live the best life possible alongside my friends right up until the day that I die."

"You might not necessarily die you know, there are plenty of new treatments out there," Tatsuki said.

"Maybe, but I'd rather not think about that," Momo said, "No treatment I know of will help me, so I figure that the best way to fight against my heart condition is to be happy and not let it control my life anymore. I just want to live my life to the fullest and enjoy these last few years I have left. Will you guys help me?"

"Of course we will, we'll always be there for you!" Orihime said.

"We'll be there to support you right to the end," Tatsuki said.

"I for one will make sure to do everything in my power to make things as good as possible for you!" Mahana said.

"I'll be there for you too," Michiru said.

"As your friends, we'll stick with you!" Mahana said.

"You don't need to be alone anymore Momo, we'll be there for you," Rukia said.

Momo smiled, tears coming to her eyes.

"Thank you so much," she said, "I know that since I've met all of you, I've been really emotionally unpredictable, but I promise that I won't betray your friendship this time!"

"Things will work out Momo," Rukia said assuringly, "Now, who wants to work on a puzzle? That will be a great activity for friends to do together!"

---

"Codi, stop playing videogames and do your homework!" Miyone said.

"Fine, whatever…" Codi said grudgingly, turning off his handheld videogame. Miyone then turned to a young girl sitting on the floor eating chocolate.

"Yahane, don't eat so much candy. You'll make yourself sick!" she said.

"Yes Miyone…" Yahane said.

Miyone sighed and walked over to the couch, collapsing onto it. Her younger siblings were tiring her out. Since her parents were divorced and rarely around, it was her who took care of them. Between that, her jobs, and schoolwork, she had a very stressful lifestyle. Now, on top of that, she had the added stress of the bump in her relationship with Toushiro.

When Momo first came back, Miyone couldn't believe it. She had thought that Momo had ignored her advice and went back to living her life as she had before meeting Toushiro. To see her suddenly appearing again was highly unexpected, and Miyone wasn't sure how to feel.

There was no denying that Momo and Miyone had a very complex, rather tense relationship. Miyone had early on taken a dislike to Momo. From her perspective, she was a self-pitying girl who would never stand up for herself to make her life better. Miyone, having experienced an exceptionally harsh life, could not stand that type of person. When Toushiro, someone she had developed a close friendship with, became closer to her, she became even more bitter towards Momo. Perhaps a part of it was that she was jealous off Momo for attracting Toushiro's attention, but it was mostly due to worry that she would end up hurting Toushiro, a prediction that ended up coming true.

Learning of the true circumstances of Momo's life completely changed Miyone's opinion of her however. It wasn't that she disapproved any less of the way Momo handled her life, but… she understood her. She knew the pain that Momo was going through. Miyone clearly remembered how terrifying it was when she was ill with leukemia. She remembered the depression and sense of hopelessness when she thought she was going to die. Despite everything about Momo that annoyed Miyone, she felt an odd sense of kinship with her. She didn't blame her for acting the way she did. It would be better if she behaved differently, but she understood how the pressure caused her to act that way. It might seem strange for someone who had never been in the situation of Momo or Miyone, but she could not blame Momo for acting in such a way. Miyone was well-aware that she was a rather judgmental person, but she couldn't be as harsh with Momo now that she knew the truth of her condition. She sincerely wanted Momo to find the strength to stand up and fight her condition.

Now that Momo had done just that of course, everything seemed to go downhill for Miyone. Momo clearly loved Toushiro, and Toushiro very likely loved her in return. Miyone was left not knowing what to do. Would she still pursue Toushiro and attempt to win his favor, or would she stand aside and sacrifice her own love for the sake of him and Momo?

When Miyone first entered a relationship with Toushiro, she thought that he had resolved his feelings for Momo. In retrospect, it was obvious that he was not at all over her, and was dating Miyone as a replacement for her. That he used her like that hurt Miyone greatly. She really did have strong feelings for Toushiro. He was a very good friend to her, and soon after meeting him she had developed romantic feelings. Whether or not he returned those feelings was another question however.

Miyone wanted to think that Toushiro really did care for her to at least some extent. He always treated her well, and at the very least were very close friends. Did he love her though? Certainly not as much as she loved him, but surely he must have felt at least some romantic attraction for her. If he had no attraction at all to her, he wouldn't have considered her as a replacement for Momo.

Miyone sighed and rubbed her forehead. She was letting herself become way too emotional here. The simple fact of the matter was that Toushiro had used her to help himself forget about Momo. He didn't love her the same way she loved him. And yet… Miyone could not give up on him. She just couldn't. Her feelings for Toushiro were too strong. Now that Momo had apparently gained the will to live and the desire to be with Toushiro, it seemed almost inevitable that Momo and Toushiro would end up with eachother. Miyone wanted to be fair to Momo, and was certainly above using tricks to win Toushiro's affection, but she really did want to be the one to end up with Toushiro. If Toushiro ended up choosing Momo, she would grudgingly accept it, but she would also do everything she could to persuade Toushiro to choose her.

"Hey…hey Miyone, um, Miyone I'd…Could we have dinner now?" a shaky, stuttering voice said behind her.

"Couldn't you make your own dinner, Tam?" she said. Her older brother, Tamahone, nicknamed Tam, walked around the couch. He was fairly tall and rather heavyset. His gaze was constantly shifting, and he fidgeted with his hands.

"I…I would, but we ran out of the canned food and cereals that I like. The only things that we have right now that I like are pieroghis and ground meat. We…could um… could um, could um, could um… use the meat for hamburgers or beef stroganoff, I think we have the mix, uh, right?" he said. He spoke quickly with frequent pausing and stuttering.

"Fine, I suppose I could make something…" Miyone said.

"Thanks; I'm, um, sorry I can't be more help around the house. I'll fold the towels next time though!" he said.

"Thanks Tam," Miyone said. Her brother was always like this. He had extreme social difficulties, and had difficulty performing basic tasks. It wasn't that he was physically or mentally incapable of it, it was more that he had such an aversion to it that he literally couldn't do it. Certain textures, sounds, and smells greatly bothered him, and there were certain patterns he always followed. He wouldn't eat different types of food on the same plate, his books had to be arranged in a certain way, and he hated when familiar things were moved without his knowledge. He was much smarter than he appeared, but due to his behavior it was impossible for him to live independently.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"Oh… it's nothing," Miyone said, "Just a guy that I'm interested in."

"Is he that, uh, that one guy you were going out with?" Tamahone asked.

"Yeah, I guess you probably saw us together at some point," Miyone said, "The problem is that there's this other girl that I can tell he really likes. She's rather, uh, asocial, and he went out of his way early on in hopes of helping her. He did for a while, but then she turned her back on him. She had a…compelling reason for doing that, but now she's come back, and I can tell that he at least partially wants to be with her. I really love him though, and I don't know what to do!"

"Does he love you or this other girl?" Tamahone asked.

"I don't know. I want to believe that he loves me somewhat, but he definitely also loves that other girl. It's really complicated, and I don't know how I could even begin to explain all the details…" Miyone said.

"I'm not an expert at emotions or interaction, but I do… I do know a couple things about true love," Tamahone said, "True love is highly variable. It entirely possible that he is your true love, but that you are not his true love. If it is indeed true love that you feel for him and not just a crush, you must understand that it is no guarantee that you two will end up together."

"Well then what will I do?" Miyone asked, "I really want to be with him, but I can't just pressure or strong-arm him into being with me!"

"Well, that's…that's your prob… your problem," Tamahone said, "I'm afraid that there's only so much I know on this subject. Remember, I have one and only one love, and that didn't provide me with a ton of courtship experience. Brianna and I knew we loved eachother even when we were just kids. I cannot tell you what to do, only that, uh… I forgot what I was going to say…"

"That's okay Tam, thanks anyways," Miyone said with a sincere smile, "I think I get what you're saying. I guess I'll go make you something to eat now…"

Just then however the phone rang. Miyone promptly went and picked it up.

"_Miyone?"_

"Toushiro?"

"_Listen Miyone, I'm really sorry if I hurt you. I just wanted you to know that you're still a very important person to me."_

"You really mean that?"

"_Yes Miyone, and to show it, I'd like to invite you to the Winter Semi-Formal Dance."_

"So…so you still want to be with me then? Me and not Momo?"

"_Momo is… a special person to me, but I don't think I could be in a relationship with her. I want to be with you Miyone. What do you say, will you go with me?"_

"Oh Toushiro… of course I will!"

"_Great! I guess I'll see you at school then. Bye."_

"Bye Toushiro!" Miyone said before hanging up the phone.

Miyone nearly jumped with joy. Toushiro still wanted to be with her. She thought that he might break up with her to be with Momo, but he stayed with her. A nagging doubt in the back of her mind told her that he might still just be using her to push Momo from his mind, but she tried to ignore that thought. She just needed the opportunity to show Toushiro how much she loved him in hopes of convincing him to stay with her.

---

Toushiro sighed as he hung up the phone. He had done what he had to do. He told Miyone that he still wanted to be with her, and implied that he had no romantic feelings for Momo. This was, of course, an outright lie, but he didn't feel he had any other choice. Despite his strong feelings for Momo, he couldn't be with her in a romantic relationship.

When Momo had shut herself off and refused to even speak with Toushiro, she had really hurt him. He had done so much for her and tried so hard to help her, yet she had turned her back on him. Though he was glad she finally came to her senses, he couldn't bring himself to admit his feelings for her. She had hurt him too badly for him to let himself become involved with her, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit upset with her. He really would have liked to be with her, but he gave her plenty of chances and she turned him down. He couldn't bring himself to trust her and risk heartbreak again if she went back to her old ways.

Then there was Miyone. Toushiro felt horrible for using her the way he did, but he rationalized it as the only way. Miyone was in love with him, and he considered her to be a very close friend. She was fairly attractive and they got along well, so some day perhaps he would develop the same sort of feelings for her that he held for Momo. He just had to wait.

Despite his self-assurances of the necessity of these actions, he felt extremely guilty. Because of his follies, he had hurt both Momo and Miyone. He really wasn't sure if what he was doing now was right or not. Things were getting way too confusing.

---

As Momo and her friends worked on a puzzle, the door was suddenly thrown open and Rangiku ran in.

"Momo, I've got bad news!" she said, "I was at Toushiro's place and I listened in on a phone call, and Toushiro is still going out with Miyone! He even asked her out to the Winter Semi-Formal!"

"I suspected he'd still be with her," Momo said, "It's okay Rangiku, I…I understand that Toushiro and I won't end up together. I'm not going to sulk over it, I don't have enough time for that."

"But Momo, you two belong together!" Orihime said.

"It's okay, really!" Momo said, "I'm content just to spend my remaining time with friends like you, I don't need to be involved in romance."

"No, you shouldn't give up on Toushiro," Tatsuki said, "I know that you can win his love if you try."

"It's my own fault I'm not with him. I closed myself off and pushed him away for so long that he really had no choice but to end up with someone else. I don't blame Miyone for being with Toushiro, and I don't blame Toushiro for being with someone other than me. If that's what they want, I'll let them be together," Momo said.

"But Momo, Toushiro wants to be with you! I know it! He loves you Momo, he's just confused about his feelings!" Rangiku said, "He likes Miyone and all, but she won't make him happy the way you would."

"Rangiku…"

"What do you say guys? There's three weeks until the Winter Semi-Formal. We have to get Momo and Toushiro back together in that time. Will you help make it happen?"

"Sure," Mahana said.

"I'll do whatever it takes," Orihime said.

"I don't normally promote het relationships, but since you're a friend I'll make an exception," Chizuru said.

"I'll help," Michiru said.

"I wouldn't turn my back on you Momo," Tatsuki said.

"I'll help you too!" Rukia said.

Momo looked at her friends in shock. She had never realized just how dedicated they were to helping her. She smiled, with tears of happiness coming from her eyes.

"Thank you…thank you so much…"


	14. Chapter 14

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 14_

"Okay, it's time for some serious strategizing," Rangiku said, "We're going to find a way to get Momo and Toushiro back together by the time of the winter semi-formal."

"Rangiku, I've been thinking. I'm really happy that you're trying to help me, I really am. I really appreciate the sentiment, but I want you to know that you guys don't _need_ to get involved in this mess," Momo said.

"Oh yes we do! We're your friends and we want you to be happy. It's clear as day that you won't be happy unless you are with Toushiro," Rangiku said.

"I've resolved to make the most of my life now," Momo said, "I can be happy just involving myself in non-romantic activities. In fact, I think I might prefer it if I just spent time with you guys as friends rather than chasing after Toushiro."

"You obviously love him too much to be completely happy without him," Rukia said, "We're not going to let you and Toushiro give up on eachother. I know that you want to be with Toushiro more than anything else. Isn't that right?"

"Yes, it's true," Momo said quietly, "I want to be with Toushiro so badly, but I just don't see much hope in convincing Toushiro. He's chosen Miyone over me, and I think it might be better to respect that choice."

"Toushiro's just being an idiot," Rangiku said, "He loves you, not Miyone; we just have to remind him of that. That can actually be our first topic for discussion: Why is Toushiro with Miyone right now?"

"Because I waited too long and didn't respond to his offers of help until it was too late," Momo said sadly.

"Yes, that's true. Toushiro was really messed up over you not responding to him," Rangiku said, "He was often depressed and was always talking about you. He was more withdrawn and less sociable. I suspect that he began going out with Miyone in an attempt to push you out of his mind."

"He couldn't live his life normally without constantly thinking about you," Orihime said, "It wasn't entirely unreasonable for him to begin dating Miyone. It was to maintain his sanity. As far as he knew, Momo would never even speak to him again, so he felt he had little choice but to make himself forget. It wasn't really him giving up on Momo, it was more of… a coping method, I guess. Now that you're back though, he should hopefully be returning to you soon."

"It's not quite that simple," Rukia said, "Toushiro is probably feeling really conflicted right now. On one hand, he really does seem to truly love you. On the other, he's probably rather upset by the fact that you left him waiting for so long despite his earnest efforts to help you. It's probably a bit difficult for him to get emotionally attached to you again after that. He probably worries that at some point you might end up leaving him again."

"I won't!" Momo said loudly, "I'd never abandon him again the way I did before! I've been stupid in the past, thinking that by pushing away people that cared about me was for the best, but I've changed!"

"I know you have Momo, and on a certain level, Toushiro does too. Still, you have to understand how hard it is to become emotionally invested in someone who turned you away and hurt you for many months. It won't be easy for him to open up and really connect with you again. He's such a private person to begin with, and with your past mistakes on top of that, it won't be easy for him to establish a trusting bond with you again."

"You're right," Momo said, "If I were in his position, I'm not sure how I would act either. I'd probably be scared to reach out and risk being hurt again."

"He loves you though, so he'll eventually overcome it!" Orihime said encouragingly.

"That's not all though," Tatsuki said, "There's also Miyone. Even if we acknowledge that Toushiro doesn't love her in the same way he loves Momo, she's still a close friend to him, and he won't be quick to break up with her. Toushiro's probably believes he's honor-bound to stay with her now that he's asked her out. He's not the kind of guy who would break up with a girlfriend to run off with another girl."

"I guess that leaves us with two main issues then," Rangiku said, "How to get Toushiro to be able to become emotionally involved with Momo again and how to get him to choose Momo over Miyone."

"This doesn't feel right. We can't just break them up," Momo said, "I really want to be with Toushiro, but if he were to just dump Miyone to be with me, I don't think I'd really want to be with him. Likewise, if we manipulated things so that they broke up, I'm not sure I'd really deserve him."

"You and Toushiro love eachother. The longer Miyone stays with Toushiro, the more she's going to get hurt. We won't just take a hatchet to their relationship, we'll just make them realize that they're not right for eachother, and they'll break up naturally," Rangiku said, "It will sting for a while, but it will end up for the best."

"But is it really right for us to split them up?" Momo said, "I'm no longer going to obsess and pity myself over it, but the cold hard truth is that I _will_ die. I only have two or three years to live at best; any longer than that would be nothing short of miraculous. Is it really right to convince Toushiro to leave Miyone for me when I'm going to end up dying soon? It doesn't seem fair to Toushiro. Regardless of whether he loves her or not, Toushiro still cares about Miyone, and they could probably live on to have a long, stable relationship. They get along well and have similar interests and personalities. Is it fair to Toushiro to ruin that relationship for someone who will die within a few years? If Toushiro and I end up together, he's inevitably going to have to deal with the grief following my death. We have no real future together, and he might never be able to be in a romantic relationship again after I die. With Miyone, he might eventually get married and maybe even have children, but with me, that would be impossible. Even if he and Miyone did end up breaking up at some point in the future, at least he'd have the chance to find love with another woman some day."

"Don't take such a defeatist attitude; you don't know for sure that you're going to die," Rangiku said.

"Anything's possible I suppose, but realistically, yes I will die. There's no cure or treatment that I'm aware of, and if there was, all it could do is extend my life a bit further. Remember, I don't have some disease that can be beaten; it's my heart itself that's the problem. It's too weak to beat for a normal person's lifespan."

"Well… Don't think about that right now!" Rangiku said, "I'm certain that Toushiro would rather be with you for a short time period than not be with you at all. Trust me on this one Momo, Toushiro truly loves you, and he'll be far more miserable if you do end up dying and he never had the chance to let you know he loved you."

"She's right. Don't give up, Momo," Orihime said.

"I… I suppose that we could try. If he really wants to stay with Miyone though, we'll just have to accept it," Momo said, "If that does happens, I want you guys to promise me that you won't keep pushing the issue after it becomes hopeless. It's not worth ruining a potential friendship with Toushiro for a hopeless romance with him."

"Well then how about this for a plan," Rangiku said, "We invite Toushiro to spend time with you. It could be a trip to the mall, a movie, a walk in the park, or just hanging out around the house, it doesn't matter; what matters is that you and Toushiro will be able to re-establish your bond. Some of us will come with you, so it won't exactly be a date, but establishing emotional connections is the first step. We'll act as 'moderators' for you two and keep things running smooth. We can repeat this method as necessary. If no romance comes out of it, then at least you'll still be friends with him."

"That's actually a pretty good idea. We'll need to be careful to set it up in a way that looks like a friendly group outing and not an actual date, but it could definitely work. Establishing the emotional ties is an excellent start," Rukia said in agreement.

"I have an idea! What if we set Momo up with someone else so that Toushiro get's jealous and realizes he loves her?" Orihime said.

"Like who? With the reputation she has, I don't think it would be easy to just ask a guy to the Semi-Formal. If she had time, she might be able to, but minus Chizuru I doubt we could find anyone interested in going out with her on short notice," Tatsuki said.

"Hmmmmmm, now that you mention it, Chizuru might work…" Orihime said.

"I was joking," Tatsuki said.

"Oh… I see…"

"That won't work, I'm afraid," Rangiku said, "To Toushiro, seeing Momo with someone else will just make him think that she's over him. Even if he became jealous, I doubt that he'd act upon those jealousies. He's not the type of person to do that."

"Okay then, scratch that idea, though I still think she should go to the Semi-Formal," Orihime said.

"Yeah, that does seem like a decent enough idea," Rukia said, "We could buy a nice dress for you and do your hair up all nice and fancy… If Toushiro saw you like that while you were alone, it might just be enough to knock him into his senses."

"What do you mean?" Momo asked.

"It's an emotional thing. It doesn't make sense now, but when he see's you, beautiful, elegant, and alone, at the Semi-Formal, he'll realize how much he loves you and decide that he wants to be with you," Rukia said.

"I don't know, I don't see how that could happen," Tatsuki said skeptically.

"Me neither," Momo said, "I just don't see how that would work. Besides, by that time it would probably be too late."

"Well just give it consideration," Rukia said, "If nothing else, going there will be a nice experience, right?"

"I suppose…"

"Okay, so far we only have the idea to have group outings to get Momo and Toushiro closer. It's not a bad start, but we'll need more. The Semi-Formal idea is a good one, but we shouldn't rely on it as by that point our chances will be slipping."

"His birthday is in December, isn't it?" Tatsuki said, "Momo could give him a present that shows how much she cares about him."

"That's good! I like that idea," Rangiku said.

"But his birthday is after the Semi-Formal," Rukia said.

"We'll say it's an early present," Rangiku said, "We just need to think of what to get him."

"I suppose I could paint something for him," Momo said.

"That's a great idea! A hand-painted picture made by you just for him! That would definitely send a powerful message to him," Rangiku said, "Will you have enough time?"

"I think so," Momo said.

"Good, so that's two methods to get him to realize he belongs with Momo! We could even throw a party for him to add on to that. We just need to work out the details and put the plans into action!" Rangiku said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, let's do this!" Orihime said.

"This could really work, we should waste no time," Tatsuki said.

"I agree with all of you," Rukia added.

"So what do you say Momo, will you go along with this?" Rangiku asked. Momo hesitated before nodding.

"Yes. It may be a bit uncomfortable, but I need to show Toushiro that I really do care," she said, "I love him, and if this shows him that, then it will be worth it."

---

Somebody loudly knocked on the door, causing Toushiro to awaken from his resting place on the couch. They knocked again, and he reluctantly stood up to answer it. He walked over and opened the door. There were two people standing there, a young woman with brown hair and freckles, and a rather large man who looked several years older than Toushiro who wore glasses and an old newsboy cap that seemed too small for his head.

"Can I help you?" Toushiro asked apprehensively, not sure who these people were.

"Are- are you…Toushiro Hitsu- um, Hitsugaya?" the man stammered.

"I am," Toushiro said.

"Then I'm ah… um… I'm uh, _afraid_ that we have a problem," he said, his speech pattern jerky and unsteady.

"What kind of problem?" Toushiro asked.

"You're… you're hurting my si-sister!" he said.

"Look, I don't even know who you are-"

"Miyone! You're hurting Miyone!" he said, managing to speak clearly this time.

"Miyone? Wait, don't tell me that you're…"

"I- I am T-Tamahone," he said, "I'm Miy-Miyone's brother."

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you, I've never seen you before," Toushiro said quickly. He did not even realize that Miyone had an older brother, he had only seen her younger siblings in the past.

"I don't, uh, don't interact much with… others. I don't interact much with other or- or leave my r-room," he said, "But, but enough… enough about tha-that, we need to have a serious… a serious um… discussion! A serious discussion."

"I suppose…" Toushiro said nervously, unsure what to do, "Who is your… companion here?" he gestured to the young woman.

"I'm Brianna Marii," she said, "We're sorry to intrude, but we thought that we should talk to you. May we come in?"

"I suppose so…" Toushiro said, letting them inside. He guided them over to the couch, where they sat down.

"So what exactly is the problem?" Toushiro asked.

"I told you alread-ready!" Tamahone said, speaking unsteadily, "You're hurting my sister!"

"I don't know what you mean," Toushiro said. Tamahone looked like he would respond angrily, but Brianna put her hand on his arm.

"Calm down Tam," she said to him, "Just explain your concerns to him." Tamahone nodded and cleared his throat.

"I- I know that you're- you're uh, dating my sister, and, and, and I know that you're not really interested in her. That, um, that is to say, you-you're romantically interested in someone else and you're leading Miyone on and set-setting her up to be hurt! You've already hurt her quite a bit. She- she doesn't talk about it, but I can t-tell. You're using her to get over another woman and causing her emotional hardships. I mean… I don't know all of- all of the details, but I- I think I have a good idea of what's… going on!"

Toushiro had a bit of difficulty understanding him with his frequent stuttering and changes in tone and pace of speaking, but he was able to understand the basics of what Tamahone was saying, and knew that he was largely correct in what he said. Brianna looked at Toushiro, apparently trying to read his expression.

"Toushiro, how about you tell us what exactly is happening between you, Miyone, and this other girl," she said. Toushiro sighed and tried to explain.

"Well, I moved here last spring. Miyone was one of the first friends I made, but there was also another girl, Momo, who caught my eye. She was a loner who never interacted with anyone and was frequently bullied. I didn't know why, but I wanted to help her, and always tried to talk to her and be friendly towards her. Miyone spoke unfavorably of her, and it's true that she did reject me for a long time, but eventually I was able to convince her to open up. When that happened, she became really friendly and kind. At the core of her nature was a sweet, gentle, kind person. Shortly after she finally began to open up however, something happened that caused her to go back to the way she was before."

"What happened?" Brianna asked.

"Sorry, I can't tell you that; it's a private matter," Toushiro said, "But trust me when I say that it was big. Anyways, after that, she went back to her old self, staying alone and never interacting with anyone or doing anything but stay at home in depression. It must have been miserable for her, and I tried to help her, but… she wouldn't let me. I called her, I knocked on her door, I sent her letters… but she never even responded. I wanted so badly to help her, yet she just pushed me away. It was then that I began to realize that I loved her. I could't function normally without her. Every day I thought of her constantly and wondered if she would finally respond to my attempt to reach out to her. It wasn't healthy, and began to take its toll. I was becoming a mess. For the entire summer and the beginning of the school year, I waited for her, but she never responded. I didn't think I'd ever see her again, and it felt like she didn't want to see me again. I thought that perhaps the love was one-sided. I'll admit, I wasn't thinking clearly at the time. I knew I wouldn't be able to go on like that, so… I asked Miyone out. I knew that she liked me, and thought that if I was with her, I'd be able to get on with my life."

"So you admit that you used her then?" Tamahone said.

"I never meant it to be that way, I was just so desperate," Toushiro said, "I loved Momo so much but it felt like I'd never even see her again… it ate me up. I felt trapped, with no other way out except through Miyone. I never meant to use her or hurt her, and I really do care about her. She's a great friend, and I thought that I might be able to think of her in a romantic way if we spent enough time together. Although I didn't really love her the way I loved Momo, my life was good when I was with her. I didn't have the same anxiety as when I was obsessing over Momo. But then Momo came back…"

"So- so are you going to le-leave my sister now?" Tamahone asked.

"I don't know," Toushiro admitted, "I feel obligated to stay with her, and I'm having trouble with investing myself in Momo again after I was hurt, but at the same time… I do have strong feelings for Momo. I just don't know what to do. I'll be perfectly honest, I messed up. I messed up big time. I've hurt two of the most important people to me, and I'm bound to hurt them even more. I have no idea what to do."

"If- if you're not committed to my sister, I'll ha-have to ask that you end your, um, relationship before she gets hurt even more," Tamahone said.

"But I don't know if I want to end things with Miyone," Toushiro said, "I asked her out, I can't just dump her! Besides, if I were to be with Momo… I don't know what would happen. Would she leave again? Could I really trust her after she hurt me so badly?"

"You'll just have to ask yourself: Who do you want to be with, Momo or Miyone?" Brianna said.

"I… I don't…" Toushiro tried to find a way around the question, but under the stares of Tamahone and Brianna, he relented, "Momo. I want to be with Momo."

"Well then that- that settles it. You'll have to leave Miyone," Tamahone said, "I d-don't mean to impose on the lives of you and Miyone, but- but I can't let you continue letting her think you love her when your heart be-belongs to someone else."

"You're right…" Toushiro said, lowering his head, "But how do I tell her? I don't want to hurt her!"

"You- you should have, uh, thought of that before you used her the way you did," Tamahone said.

"I'll wait until after the Semi-Formal to tell her this," Toushiro sighed, "I asked her to go with me, I at least have an obligation to go through with it. After that… I don't know, but I'll try as hard as I can not to hurt her. I don't know how I'm going to deal with her or Momo, but trust me when I say that I really want what's best for both of them. I screwed up, but I'll make things right again."

"F-Fine, but just remember that the longer… the longer you w-wait, the more it's going to hurt her!" Tamahone said, "And incidentally, this… this other girl, M…Momo you said her name was… she won't- won't be able to wait forever either. Since I don't know her, I- I have no place to meddle in her and your, uh, affairs, but as a piece of advice: don't miss your chance with her, or you'll spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been."

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to AznVKai, Sonozaki-Sama, Merciless Ruby, nexuswarrior, MoonLightView, rolf-hitsugaya, SnowFlakeInc, Kay. Shirogani, lovelyxpeach, simplyxcomplicated, dee, lil katie, naruhinax, chococat450, liquid prince, music-rox12, halliegirl, and feeeesh for reviewing! The past few chapters have been a bit heavy on dialogue, but next chapter will have a bit more action in it. Please review!


	15. Chapter 15

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 15_

Toushiro straightened out his shirt and combed his hair, checking in the mirror to ensure that it was neat. Tonight he had a date with Miyone. He had resolved that he wouldn't end their relationship until after the Winter Semi-Formal Dance, and until then he would maintain things with Miyone as they had been before. He didn't know how he would actually break up with her and hoped that perhaps he might get an idea from being with Miyone, or at least use the date to begin easing her out of the relationship. It was his hope that after they separated, memories such as tonight would remind her that he truly did care about her and hoped to remain her friend. The thought that this would backfire also occurred to him however. Doing this risked making Miyone even more attached to him, which would make the break-up more painful for her.

Toushiro was well aware of just how horrible a mess he had made. Because of his actions, two girls he cared very dearly for had been hurt, and would probably continue to be hurt in the future. He felt absolutely horrible for what he had done, both to Momo and to Miyone. He had led Momo to believe he loved her and would wait forever, yet he ended up buckling under the pressure and began dating Miyone to help himself get on with his life. In doing so, he had also hurt Miyone by taking advantage of her feelings for him. Both of them had already been hurt by his actions, and no matter what he did in the future, he would probably end up hurting them more.

He felt like scum. He loved Momo, and Miyone was a very dear friend. His actions were indefensible and despicable. He had thought at the time that his actions were the only rational things to do, but he now understood just how horrible his decisions were. He was hesitant to even think of a potential relationship with Momo after what he had done to her. Perhaps she deserved better than him.

He tried to shake away such thoughts. Right now, he had to focus on letting Miyone down as gently as possible. He would use the time they spent together to put some emotional distance between them and ready her for the inevitable break-up. Under normal circumstances, it might have been best to break up with her more promptly so as to get it over with, but Toushiro felt that he at least had to wait until after the dance. He had asked Miyone to it, he had a responsibility to at least stay with her until then.

Beyond that, there was another reason that he would have to be cautious. Even if he didn't love her, Miyone was still a close friend, and Toushiro did not want to hurt her. Of course, his actions had already hurt her, and breaking up would hurt her more, but he wanted to at least minimize the pain she felt. She was still a friend, and he hoped to maintain some degree of friendship with her after they had broken up, but he wasn't sure what that friendship would be like. It probably wouldn't be the way it had been before, a fact that made Toushiro very sad, but hopefully they could at least remain friendly with eachother, if not the best friends they had been before.

As he rinsed his face, the phone rang in the living room. Quickly drying his hands, he ran out to answer it.

"Hello?" he said.

"_Hi Toushiro!"_ a loud voice said.

"Hello Rangiku…" Toushiro said tiredly. He wasn't really in the mood to talk right now.

"_I was talking with some of the girls, and we decided that we would take a trip to the mall tomorrow! Would you like to join us?" _Rangiku asked.

"I don't know," Toushiro said.

"_Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaase! We'd really like you to come!"_

"Okay, fine, I'll meet you at the mall tomorrow," Toushiro said, rubbing his temples.

"_Great! We'll meet you at the food court tomorrow at ten o'clock. We'll be at one of the big tables, 'kay?"_ Rangiku said. Just as she finished talking, the doorbell rang.

"Okay, fine," he said quickly, "Goodbye."

"_Wait, don't you want to talk some more?"_ Rangiku whined.

"Sorry, I'm busy," Toushiro said curtly.

"_Awwww, you're such a meanie. Okay then, bye-bye, I guess…"_ Rangiku sighed heavily. Just as he was about to hang up, a thought struck Toushiro.

"Wait, Rangiku are you still there?" he asked quickly.

"_Yup! You need something?" _Rangiku chirped.

"Is… is Momo going to be there?" Toushiro asked hesitantly. There was a pause on the other end of the line.

"_Why yes… yes she will be," _Rangiku said, _"Bye now!"_

With that, she hung up. Toushiro sighed. He should have expected something like this. The doorbell rang again, snapping Toushiro back into reality. He rushed over to the door, opening it to find Miyone standing in the doorway smiling.

"Hi Toushiro," she said.

"Hey Miyone," Toushiro replied.

Miyone leaned down to give Toushiro a kiss. Without thinking, Toushiro kissed her back. It was only a brief kiss, but as soon as it was over, Toushiro winced internally. He was supposed to be pushing her away and preparing her for when they inevitably broke up, not making her feel even closer to him. He mentally shook himself, reminding himself what his objective was.

"So shall we go off to dinner now?" Miyone asked.

"Yes… I think so…" Toushiro said slowly, taking her hand and leading her out.

---

Toushiro walked down the sidewalk in the chilly December air. He had taken the bus from the village of Brady where he lived up to the average sized city north of them. Now he walked from the bus stop to the mall. He barely even looked ahead, his mind preoccupied by the events of the previous night.

It had been a disaster. For Miyone, it probably seemed like a pleasant enough evening, but to him it was a disaster. He had been unable to do anything that would make the break-up any easier for Miyone; on the contrary, he probably only strengthened Miyone's attachment to him. She was so happy that he couldn't bear to cause her any disappointment. She talked a lot about how excited she was about the dance and how much she looked forward to it, which made Toushiro feel even worse. He couldn't help but hold her hand and accept the occasional kiss and buy her a nice dessert before walking her home.

He began to wonder if he could even manage to break up with her. Could Toushiro really crush Miyone's happiness like that? Could he work up the nerve to actually tell her that he didn't want to be romantically involved anymore? Would the fear of ruining their friendship prevent him from telling her the truth? He didn't know, and the closer they got to the Semi-Formal, the more nervous he became.

Now it seemed that his friends were trying to bring him and Momo back together. Toushiro wasn't sure how to handle this. It was true that he wanted to be with Momo, but he was also nervous about becoming involved with her after she had rejected him before. The feeling wasn't as strong as it had been before, but there was still a nagging doubt in his mind over whether or not he could let himself be with her in a romantic relationship. More importantly however, Toushiro felt like he really didn't deserve her after what he had done. It wasn't on purpose, but he had really hurt her. He didn't know if he could let himself be with her after what he had done.

Soon he was at the front door of the mall. Mentally bracing himself, he walked through the doors. He was greeted by the bright flashy signs of the various restaurants in the food court, and quickly went to work searching for where the others were. It did not take long.

His eyes were immediately attracted to Rangiku, who was standing atop a table waving at him, attracting the stares of quite a few people. Toushiro could not help but grimace a little as the people around him realized that she was waving at him. He walked over in embarrassment towards the table, where Momo, Rukia, Orihime, Tatsuki, Chizuru, Michiru, and Mahana sat. Rangiku jumped off of the table after Toushiro had reached it.

"You didn't have to make a scene," he said.

"Yeah, but I did anyways. Have a seat!" Rangiku said brightly. Toushiro sat down in an empty seat. It was then that he became aware that several of the girls present were staring at him coldly and crossing their arms. Toushiro cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Um, hey guys, it's good to see you," Toushiro said, trying to avoid looking at Momo, whom he could see from the corner of his eye was doing likewise.

"So why weren't you able to talk more last night?" Rangiku asked.

"Oh, I um… Somebody was at the door," Toushiro said.

"Miyone?" Rangiku immediately asked. Toushiro hesitated before nodding.

"Yeah… Miyone…" There was another awkward silence. All eyes seemed to shift between him and Momo. Toushiro gulped. He had a feeling that this was the real reason he had been asked to come here. They were trying to bring him and Momo back together.

"It's great to see you again," Rukia said, breaking the silence, "It's been a while since we were all together like this."

"Yeah, that's true…" Tatsuki said, "Would you like to go get something to eat? A pretzel? Ice cream? Cookies? Fresh fruit… a peach maybe?"

"I'll have… ice cream, I think," Toushiro said. The others immediately stood up. "You don't all have to go with me," he quickly said, "I can get it myself."

"We were planning to get going soon anyways," Mahana said.

"That's right," Orihime nodded, "Most of us have already eaten, in fact."

"Oh, I see," Toushiro said, now noticing several empty food containers on the table. He also noticed that Momo was drinking a large cup of soda pop with a straw, looking away from him as she did so. Toushiro forced himself to look away as well, trying to hold back his feelings at least for the time being.

They began walking away from the table, those with trash throwing it away. They walked across the food court, where they stopped at an ice-cream stand and bought Toushiro blue-moon flavored ice cream in a cone. Rangiku bought sherbet and Michiru bought strawberry ice cream, but the others did not get anything. They ate quickly, and soon began walking further into the mall.

"So… What did you guys want to do first?" Toushiro asked uncomfortably.

"How about going over to the jewelry store? They've got lots of good things there!" Mahana suggested.

"Or maybe the make-up department," Rangiku said.

"How about the shoe store?" Orihime said.

"I don't think that Toushiro would be interested in that stuff guys," Rukia said with a significant look.

"Oh, right," Rangiku said, "Sorry Toushiro. Where would you like to go?"

"I, uh, I'm not really sure…" Toushiro said.

"Um… Could we go to the pet store?" Michiru asked meekly.

"Hey, that's a good idea!" Orihime said, "We can look at all those cute little animals and Momo, Tatsuki, Mahana, and I can get stuff for our pets!"

"That sounds good. What do you think Toushiro?" Rangiku asked.

"Sounds fine to me," Toushiro shrugged. He wasn't really interested in shopping, so going to the pet store was probably the best option right now.

They took the escalator to the bottom floor, where they made a beeline for the pet store. It was a relatively small store, but it had plenty of pets. It had a section for small mammals, several aisles with dog and cat food and toys, and several tanks with fishes against the back wall. Near the front was a cockatiel in a cage. Everyone immediately separated, going off in different directions to look at things. Orihime went off to look at things for her cat and Tatsuki was browsing in the dog section. Toushiro took a brief glance at the small mammals section.

"You wanna see what's on top?" Rangiku asked, "You probably can't see them from your height."

"That's okay, I'm fine," Toushiro said, a bit annoyed at having his height brought up. The top cage began just at his eye level, and he could only barely see the tops of furry things in it.

"No, I insist!" Rangiku said, grabbing him and lifting him up.

"Rangiku! Put me down!" Toushiro nearly yelled, struggling against her.

"Not until you look!" Rangiku said, straining to keep Toushiro held up. Growling, Toushiro looked into the top cage, where he saw several hamsters.

"Okay I see the hamsters; now put me down!"

"Fine you little grumpy-puss!" Rangiku said, setting him down, "They were cute though. That's why they were on top, because they're the cutest! Too bad you're too short to see them completely."

"Cute? Yes. But they don't have very good personalities. The store only puts them on top so more people will notice them," Momo said. Toushiro was taken by surprise. This was the first time Momo had really said anything today.

"What do you mean?" Rangiku asked.

"Well, they put the ones they want people to pay most attention to on top. The hamsters are on top, then guinea pigs, then the gerbils, then the mice, and on the bottom the rats. That way, the 'cute' ones are most noticeable. They don't take into account which ones make the best pets though," Momo said, "Hamsters may be fluffy, but they're really temperamental and tend to bite. They're just not very social creatures, and don't like to be handled. Guinea pigs are more docile, but they're kind of messy, and need their cages cleaned every other day. Gerbils are good pets too, but they're a bit skittish, and you have to spend some time with them before they're really friendly. As Meatloaf from school shows, gerbils can be good pets, but they do have some issues. Mice are skittish and prone to health conditions, but they make okay pets. Rats though, despite being the least liked by most people, are by far the best pets. They're intelligent and social, and make great pets."

"Really? But they're so gross and dirty, and their tails look like worms!" Rangiku said, but Toushiro noticed that she had a slight smile. He knew what she was doing. When Momo talked about something that interested her, she was able to overcome her shyness and become more sociable. Rangiku was clearly trying to get Momo to talk more, as until now she had been silent.

"I know it's strange, but rats really do make great pets," Momo said, "They're surprisingly clean, and they are extremely sociable and love contact with people. They are considered to be as intelligent as dogs, and are probably the best small animals as pets. Gerbils and some other types of small rodents make good pets too, but rats are by far the most friendly."

"How fascinating! You sure know a lot about animals, Momo," Rangiku said, now wearing a wide grin.

"Thanks," Momo said a bit bashfully. Toushiro almost stayed with her, but he forced himself away. He couldn't talk to her right now. He needed to wait until he had ended things with Miyone before he could even think of such things.

He walked away, and was looking at the fish section when Rangiku called him back over.

"Hey Toushiro, come look at this!" she called. Toushiro walked back over to see what she wanted to show him.

"Look," she whispered, pointing to two rats at the bottom. One was white and one was brown. They were curled up together and sleeping peacefully. "Aren't they cute?"

Despite being rats, Toushiro could not deny that they were rather cute, especially with their eyes closed as they were. Toushiro glanced over at Momo, who was looking at the two rats with a small smile.

"S'cuse me!" a man said from behind them. They got out of the way as a store employee pulled out the bottom cage and pulled out the two rats and put them in a box.

"Thank you sir!" Mahana said, taking the box after he closed it.

"Mahana? What are you doing?" Toushiro asked.

"Buying food for my snake. It's the time of month that he feeds!" Mahana said brightly, "I'll be off then. I've gotta get these guys to my snake before he gets too hungry. Bye!" Mahana paid for the rats and left the shop, leaving Momo and Toushiro looking rather green.

They promptly left the shop after that. Rangiku led them through several other shops, though nothing that particularly interested Toushiro. He and Momo were both silent, while the others tried to spark conversation. While they were in a book store, Michiru's cell phone went off. She quickly went outside to answer it.

"Hello? Oh… Yeah, okay. I'll get back as quick as I can. See you Mom," she said, closing it when she was done before turning to the others, "My mom wants me back home."

"I'll drive you back," Rukia offered.

"Really? You don't mind?" Michiru asked.

"Sure. You don't have a car of your own and I'd hate to make you walk all the way to the bus station. It's no problem for me to drive you," Rukia assured her.

"Okay… Thanks," Michiru said. They said goodbye to Rukia and Michiru as they left. Now only Rangiku, Momo, Orihime, Tatsuki, Chizuru, and Toushiro remained.

"What now?" Orihime asked.

"Ooh! I know!" Chizuru said excitedly, "Let's go to that new Victoria's Secret they just opened!"

"No," Tatsuki and Toushiro said simultaneously.

"Awwwwww! Come on, you're no fun!" Chizuru whined.

"How about we go over there," Rangiku said, pointing to a store that sold dresses.

"That's fine I guess," Tatsuki said.

"Sounds like a great idea to me!" Orihime said.

"I suppose…" Chizuru said disappointedly.

"Uh… I'm not sure I'd really find anything there that I would be interested in wearing…" Toushiro said awkwardly.

"You don't have to! You just have to tell us what looks good!" Rangiku said, "We need a male opinion on whatever we get. Momo and Orihime haven't even gotten their dresses for the Semi-Formal yet, and I could always use a better one!"

"Oh… are you guys going?" Toushiro asked, "Does that mean… you found partners?" His eyes darted to Momo before going back.

"No, we're just going as a group of friends," Orihime said. Toushiro internally breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, if that's settled, let's get going!" Rangiku said, grabbing Toushiro's arm and pulling him after them.

The next half hour was rather unpleasant for Toushiro. The others made him watch as they tried on different dresses, which he found to be very boring and dull. He didn't care what dresses they wore, they all looked the same to him. Except for when Momo wore them, that was. Whenever she wore one, she always looked radiant and beautiful. He didn't give her any more praise than the others, but it was always her that caught his eye. It was probably just his imagination, he told himself. Just a result of the anxiety he felt.

"What do you think of this dress?" Orihime asked, showing off a rather revealing purple dress. Toushiro began to answer, but Chizuru beat him to it.

"You look adorable!" she squealed. She rushed up to Orihime and pulled herself against her, groping at her lustfully. "You look so hot, I feel like I could rip that dress off right now and="

Tatsuki interrupted her with a punch to the face.

"Quit molesting Orihime!" she said, her face red with anger.

"I wasn't molesting her, I was trying feel her boobs!" Chizuru protested.

"Why you…" Tatsuki said, an eye twitching in rage.

"Hey, calm down guys!" Rangiku said, trying to defuse the situation.

"Don't be jealous, Tatsuki, just because you're not pretty enough for me doesn't mean you have to come between me and Orihime," Chizuru said. Toushiro could have sworn he saw steam coming from Tatsuki's ears.

"You die now!" she growled. With a squeak, Chizuru ran off, still wearing the red dress she had been trying on. Tatsuki ran after her as she bolted out of the store.

"Hey, you have to pay for that!" an employee yelled after them, "You too!" he added as Orihime chased after them.

"Wait guys, calm down!" she said. The employee pulled out a handheld radio and turned it on.

"Security, we have two dress thieves on floor B1, we're going to need you to come down here right now," he said.

"Oh boy…" Rangiku sighed, "Toushiro, Momo, you two wait by the fountain. I'm gonna have to sort this out…" She went in the direction of Orihime, Tatsuki, and Chizuru, leaving Momo and Toushiro alone together.

They went over to the fountain nearby as Rangiku instructed. They sat down on a bench, looking away at anything that could take their minds off the awkwardness of the moment. They glanced over the coins beneath the water of the fountain, the tiles on the floor, and the various people reaction to the commotion the others were making.

"I'm sorry," Momo suddenly said.

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Toushiro asked.

"This whole trip was just something the others did in hopes of getting us back together," Momo said.

"Yeah, I know," Toushiro said.

"Why did you come then?" Momo asked.

"I… I don't…" As Toushiro thought about it, he realized he really didn't know why he agreed to come. He didn't like shopping malls, and he had no interest in anything they would be doing. He had told himself repeatedly that he would have to wait until things with Miyone were over before he even contemplated starting anything with Momo. Yet here he was, sitting on a bench with Momo, feeling the attraction towards her as strongly as he had before.

"It was wrong of us to try to pressure you," Momo said, "I knew that, and I shouldn't have gone along with it. Yet… I just wanted so badly to… I'm sorry. I should have respected your relationship with Miyone and accepted my loss."

Toushiro remained silent. He couldn't exactly tell her that he planned to break up with Miyone and that they might have another chance together. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to be with Momo again, as he felt that perhaps he didn't deserve her after what he did.

"You're not the one who was wrong. I was wrong," Toushiro said quietly. Momo looked at him in surprise.

"B-but it was me who rejected you and caused you to end up with Miyone! You had every right to do that after I pushed you away and rejected all of your help. I'm at fault for what happened!" Momo said, tears forming in her eyes.

"No… I'm the one who's wrong," Toushiro said, "You made a mistake, but given your circumstances, it's understandable. I, on the other hand, have little excuse. My actions have hurt two very dear friends, and I don't even know how I could have messed up so badly. So please don't shed tears on my account, I'm really not worth them."

This statement only seemed to make Momo cry more, and Toushiro placed a hand on her cheek, wiping away a tear with his finger. Momo moved closer to him, putting her hands on his shoulder.

"Toushiro… you were always so kind to me…" she whispered.

"Momo, I…" Toushiro moved his head forward, feeling as if he was being pulled in by a magnet. Without even realize what had happened, he had kissed Momo. They both stared at eachother in shock, but neither pulled away. They merely stared into eachother's eyes, their mouths pressed together.

They were in an almost surreal state. Reality seemed to warp around them. They didn't notice their bodies moving closer together, nor did they realize that they had wrapped their arms around one another and were now beginning to kiss much more passionately. All they were able to feel was the happiness that filled them. They held eachother closely and kissed lovingly for what seemed like an eternity. Suddenly however, Toushiro pulled away.

He stared at her with shock. What had he done. He had just kissed Momo. He hadn't asked her, and she had said nothing to indicate she wanted to be kissed, yet he did it anyways. He felt more disgusted with himself than ever before. He was still in a relationship with Miyone, and despite planning to end it soon, had no business in kissing other girls, especially not one who he had already hurt as much as he had. This was why he was so hesitant about considering a relationship with Momo: more and more, he felt like he wasn't worthy of her.

"Momo, I'm so sorry," he said quickly, "I… I don't know what… I'm sorry, that was wrong of me. I… I feel horrible."

"T-Toushiro, it's-"

"I... I should go now," Toushiro said, walking away hurriedly. Momo lowered her head sadly.

"Toushiro…"

* * *

Thanks for reading. Thank you to nexuswarrior, kRyStAlt3aRz, AznVKai, Merciless Ruby, FOREVERxHEARTSxPERCABETHxD, MoonLightView, Hinata-cutie, Momo21, OrigamiPearl, KnowledgeandImagination, lovelyxpeach, SunsetRainbow, DW64, Sonozaki-sama, Snowy Peach Tsubasa, Dee, Esuslol, naruhinax, Saara Cullen, liquid prince, rolf-hitsugaya, imaginator317, iCrystal, simplyxcomplicated, and Rachel 321 for reviewing! The chapters a little late, but I hope you all enjoyed it! Please review!


	16. Chapter 16

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 16_

"Hold still Momo," Rangiku said as Momo shifted a little.

"Oh, sorry!" Momo said quickly, taking care to stay still.

Tonight was the night of the Winter Semi-Formal. She wore the dress she had recently purchased as Rangiku helped her with her hair. As she sat still, she thought of what had happened earlier that week. Toushiro had kissed her. It wasn't just a peck on the cheek, but a real kiss. Did this mean that he really loved her? Her and not Miyone? She had hoped with all her heart that he loved her, and there were certainly plenty of signs that he still felt love towards her, but until now, it had never been so… _direct_. Yet even with this seemingly sound proof that he loved her, Momo still had doubts.

"Rangiku?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really think that just seeing me at the Semi-Formal will make Toushiro… want to be with me again?" Momo asked.

"He already wants to be with you, didn't you see the way he was looking at you the other day?" Rangiku said, "It's obvious that you two were made for eachother. We just need to remind him of that."

"Will seeing me at the dance accomplish that?" Momo asked.

"Maybe not entirely, but I think it will at least keep you in his mind, which hopefully will lead to him making up his mind once and for all. Romance is a tricky thing. It makes smart people act stupid. That's why it's so hard to predict what will happen. Between this and your gift though, I'm sure that Toushiro will be thinking about you so much that he will end up realizing that he belongs with you. You finished your gift, right?" Rangiku said.

"Yeah, I just finished with a painting last night. I was having trouble finding the right design, and ended up going through five canvases, but I finally found just the right one. It's perfect, I just know he'll love it!" Momo said.

"That's great," Rangiku smiled, "I actually have an idea: what if we go to his house and put it up so that when he comes home he'll see it! Then it will be an extra special birthday present!"

"I don't know about that. Won't he be home? Besides, how would we get in?" Momo asked. Rangiku smiled deviously.

"You're forgetting that I'm Toushiro's maid," she said, "I know all about his schedule and have keys to his house. He's not going to be at home this afternoon. At two o'clock, Miyone will pick him up and go to dinner with him at a fancy restaurant about forty minutes away from here. After they're done, they'll go straight to the Semi-Formal. We have the time between when they leave and the Semi-Formal to put up the painting."

"I see…" Momo said.

"Something wrong?"

"Oh… just the usual," Momo sighed, "Anxiety, wondering if it's right to interfere in Toushiro's current relationship like this, worrying that it might not work, not knowing what Toushiro is really thinking…"

"Don't worry yourself over those things. Everything will turn out alright in the end, I'm sure of it."

"You-you're right," Momo said, "It's just that I was thinking, and I began to worry that… that…" Momo began to breathe quickly and grabbed onto her chest in pain. Rangiku reacted in panic.

"Momo? Momo! Calm down Momo! Take a deep breath!" she hurriedly said. After a few moments, Momo's breathing returned to normal.

"S-Sorry Rangiku," she said, still clutching her chest.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah... It was just stress," Momo assured her.

"What were you saying before?"

"Well… I was thinking, what if Toushiro is really just some kind of 'playboy' or something? What if he's leading on both me and Miyone so he can take advantage of us?" Momo said quietly.

"Oh Momo, you know that Toushiro's not like that! You've just… lost a bit of faith in him, I guess. After you're back together, you two will be able to trust eachother like you did before."

"I suppose…"

"Your hair is just about done," Rangiku informed her, "Now it's your turn to help me!"

"Oh, okay Rangiku," Momo said, looking at herself in the mirror with a smile before going to help Rangiku.

---

Toushiro carefully combed his hair, checking in the mirror to make sure that the suit he wore was smoothed out and not wrinkled anywhere. He was preparing to go out for dinner with Miyone. He felt the need to treat her to a happy night before he ended up breaking her heart. The kiss he shared with Momo confirmed to himself that he loved Momo, not Miyone, but he still didn't want to hurt Miyone any more than he had to. She was the first friend he had made when he arrived in this town, and was a very important person to him. He felt ashamed for using her in his foolish attempt to get over Momo, and could only hope that their friendship would remain intact after they had broken up.

Perhaps this was too much to hope for. Tomorrow, or maybe even tonight after the Semi-Formal, Toushiro would have to inform Miyone that he couldn't be with her anymore. It would be painful to her, and it was quite possible that she would be angry at him, but it had to be done. If he didn't break up with her soon, he might never be able to. Miyone deserved the truth. Toushiro didn't feel the way about her that she felt about him. If he couldn't tell her that, then he didn't even deserve to be her friend.

What he would do after things with Miyone were over was another problem that lurked in the back of his mind. Aside from trying to salvage a by-then broken friendship with Miyone, he would have to decide once and for all what to do with Momo.

Toushiro's true feelings were painfully obvious. He loved her. He wanted to hold her and kiss her and make her feel safe and happy. The love he felt for her was too strong to ignore, and he was a fool to have ever tried. Yet despite this, he didn't know if it was right for him to become romantically involved with Momo. He honestly did not believe that he was worthy of being with Momo after what he had done to her and Miyone. He was so ashamed of himself, that he hesitated to even think of the possibility. He had already hurt her; did he really deserve her love? She seemed to still love him the way she had before, but could he risk hurting her again? He didn't know.

The kiss they shared seemed to confirm the mutual attraction they felt, yet it also reminded Toushiro how irresponsible he had been. Despite having hurt Momo in the past, being in a relationship with another girl, and not being sure if he would really end up with her after that was over, he had kissed her. It was the wrong thing to do for someone in his situation. He was still with Miyone and he had not definitely decided whether he could trust himself enough to be with Momo in a relationship. That kiss highlighted just how messed up Toushiro was.

Despite this, Toushiro truly wanted in his heart to be with Momo. The love he felt for her was too strong to ignore, and despite the pain he had caused her, it seemed that she wanted to be with him too. He really did want to be with Momo in spite of everything that had happened between them. He loved her, there was simply no way around that fact. And yet he still couldn't be with her, at least not in the immediate future.

After he and Miyone separated, he didn't think it a good idea to begin a relationship with Momo too soon afterwards. It would be a slap in the face to Miyone, and would send the wrong signal to Momo. He had to be tactful with how he acted. One wrong move could be a disaster.

The doorbell rang. Toushiro sighed and took a deep breath. He would have to go through dinner with Miyone, watching her be happy with the knowledge that he would soon be taking away that happiness. He stiffly walked out to the front door and opened it. Miyone stood in a silky blue dress, smiling at Toushiro.

"Are you ready Toushiro?" she said, "You certainly look nice in your dress clothes!"

"Thanks Miyone. You look nice too," Toushiro said. The compliment wasn't completely fake; Miyone did look quite attractive in the elegant dress, but… she wasn't Momo. He couldn't look at her the same way.

"I arranged a, ah, 'chauffer' to drive us up to the restaurant," she said, taking hold of his hand and leading him outside to the car.

"Chauffer?" Toushiro asked skeptically as Miyone opened the back door of the car to let him inside. As soon as she closed the door to walk around to the other side, the driver turned around. Toushiro jumped a little. It was Tamahone.

"Hello again… T-Toushiro," he said quietly. Miyone got in on the other side of the car, sitting next to Toushiro and taking hold of his hand after putting on her seatbelt.

"Toushiro, I'd like you to meet my brother, Tamahone. That's his fiancé, Brianna," Miyone gestured to the front passenger seat, where he just noticed Brianna Marii was sitting, "He offered to drive us to the restaurant and the dance. It's a good thing too; I doubt I could drive properly with this dress on. They'll be double-dating with us at the restaurant, but they're just going to drop us off at the Semi-Formal."

"I-I see…" Toushiro said with a gulp. Tamahone's presence here was no coincidence. He was clearly here as a reminder of what they had talked about before.

"It's no problem at… at all," Tamahone said. Toushiro gulped again, and subtly let go of Miyone's hand to put on his seatbelt, careful to fold his hands together in his lap so that Miyone would not take hold of him again. With Tamahone present to watch him, he would have to be extra careful with how he conducted himself tonight.

---

"Momo, it's beautiful!" Rangiku squealed with delight.

"You really think so?" Momo asked.

"I do! It's amazing! You have such artistic talent!" Rangiku replied.

Momo smiled as she held the painting she had made for Toushiro. It had taken a lot of work to get it just right, but she was sure that Toushiro would love it. She felt more hopeful than she had ever been before. She felt like she had a real chance of being with Toushiro, and making the remainder of her life happy. The kiss they had shared the other day had reinvigorated her hopes. Though she was sad that Toushiro stopped and left, the kiss showed that he really did care about her, and probably loved her the way she loved him. Things were still a little confusing, but she at least had hope, which was one of the most important things one could have.

"Let's get this out to the car. It's five thirty, we've only got half an hour to drop this off and get to the dance," Rangiku said.

"Hey, you're the one who took so long to get ready!" Momo said playfully.

"And you were the one who spent twenty minutes making dinner!" Rangiku laughed.

"Hey, we can't exactly do this on an empty stomach," Momo pointed out.

"I guess you're right. Let's just hurry up and get there now that we are ready," Rangiku said.

"I suppose you're right. Just let me get a plastic bag to cover the painting," Momo said.

"Oh, don't worry about that! It will be fine!" Rangiku said dismissively.

"But…"

"Momo, if we don't hurry we might miss the start of the Semi-Formal!" Rangiku said, walking to the front of the house and opening the door.

"Oh, right," Momo said a bit apprehensively. She followed Rangiku outside to the car, wincing as some of the snow on the ground got into her shoes and shivering in the cold air.

They put the painting in the back seat before driving off. They had to drive slowly, as the roads were icy. Momo fidgeted anxiously as Rangiku drove, wishing that they could get there faster. After about fifteen minutes of cautious driving, they arrived at Toushiro's house. Getting out, Momo went to get her painting.

"Do you know a good place to put it?" Momo asked.

"Yeah, there's this unused picture hook in the living room that is perfect for this," Rangiku said.

Just as Momo was about to respond, she stepped on a slick patch of slushy ice. She tried to catch her balance, but was unable to regain her footing and let out a frightened cry as she fell to the ground. Her knees hurt as they landed on the icy ground, and she twisted her ankle as she fell.

"Momo, are you alright?" Rangiku said worriedly, trying to help her up. Momo did not respond however. She was staring down at the painting she had made, which was now lying face-down in slush and ice. She shakily reached forward and picked it up. The front was covered in the dirty snow from the driveway, and there was a small tear in the canvas from a chunk of ice on the ground where it landed. Momo's eyes filled with tears.

"It's ruined…" she whispered.

"No it's not!" Rangiku said quickly, taking hold of the painting, "We can dry it off and it will be just as good!" She hurriedly went back to the car and reached into the back seat, where an old sweater lay folded on the floor. She grabbed it, and began wiping at the painting. Unfortunately, the only recently dried paint began to smear as she did so, messing up the painting even more. Momo began to cry more.

"There's no way we can give it to Toushiro now…" she said.

"Momo, I'm so sorry. Is… is it possible for us to go get one of your other paintings for him?" Rangiku asked. Momo shook her head.

"No, the others I made either aren't finished or aren't good enough to give to him. Besides, we don't have enough time to go back and get them," she said. She shakily stood up, wincing a little as she put weight on her ankle.

"Well… Let's go to the Semi-Formal then," Rangiku said, "Don't worry, the painting wasn't everything! Things will work out in the end, I'm sure of it."

"O-okay, Rangiku," Momo sniffled, walking back to the car with Rangiku.

---

Toushiro and Miyone danced on the floor of the school gymnasium to the music that played throughout the place. The Winter Semi-Formal was underway, and most of the people attending were already there. After an awkward dinner, Tamahone had driven Toushiro and Miyone to the Semi-Formal. Miyone had quickly taken him to the dance floor where they now were.

Though he didn't show it, Toushiro was deep in thought. He would have to break up with Miyone soon, he might even end up doing it tonight. He didn't know how he would work up the nerve to do it, despite the necessity of it. Miyone was so happy right now, he didn't know how he would be able to destroy that happiness.

That was not all that was weighing on his mind. Thoughts of Momo still crept into his head. He scanned the room several times searching for her, but could not find her. He had thought that she was coming, even though she didn't have a date, and was unsure what to make of her absence. Maybe she was too afraid to come after he had kissed her and run off. Toushiro hoped that this was not the case; he didn't need to feel any guiltier than he already did.

He danced somewhat awkwardly with Miyone, who was apparently enjoying this much more than him. His dancing wasn't that great, and he found the music and crowd rather annoying. Nevertheless, he kept up with it. Miyone wanted to do this, and he'd might as well give her what she wanted before he ended up hurting her.

As they danced, Miyone leaned forward for a kiss. Toushiro turned away, pretending to look at something across the room. He couldn't kiss Miyone with the knowledge that he would soon be leaving her. As he stared across the room, he noticed two people walk in. Upon closer inspection, he realized that they were Momo and Rangiku. Toushiro's heart skipped a beat, and despite the situation was honestly happy to see Momo.

As he stared at her, he saw that she was dressed rather attractively. Her hair was done up in an elegant bun that was much more classy than her usual one, and she wore a lovely peach-colored dress. He also noticed that the bottom of the dress was a bit dirty, and that she walked with a slight limp. He wondered what had happened to her.

He quickly turned his gaze back to Miyone, not wanting her to see him staring at Momo right now. As he continued to dance however, he kept glancing over at Momo, who was idly standing on the other side of the room by the table with a punch fountain and cookies. She leaned on the wall, apparently trying not to put weight on her foot. Rangiku stood nearby, watching Momo while turning down dance requests from numerous male students. Momo stared back at him, a look of great sadness on her face.

Toushiro wished that he could go over to her, but he kept dancing with Miyone, who gave no indication that she saw Toushiro looking at Momo. Things stayed this way for a while. Toushiro and Miyone danced while Momo watched morosely from the side. Then, after a while, Momo stood up and hobbled over to the table, where she put a cookie on a plate. She leaned on the table as she did this so that she did not have to stand on her hurt foot. As she got herself some punch however, she had to let go of the table, and began to wobble. Toushiro winced as he saw what happened next. Momo reflexively reached out to grab the nearest thing she could, which unfortunately was the edge of the punch fountain. As she fell, the fountain was pulled to its side, causing much of the red drink to splash on Momo.

The room went silent for a minute before being filled with noise. Some people laughed, others whispered, and some gasped in astonishment. Toushiro felt the urge to immediately go to Momo as she shakily stood up, her dress ruined, and ran out of the gymnasium crying. Rangiku began to follow after her, but then she stopped and looked directly at Toushiro. Her message to him was clearly understood, and Toushiro knew at that moment what he had to do.

Before he could do that though, he had to take care of something else. He tapped Miyone on the arm.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.

"Sure Toushiro," Miyone said. They walked out to the hallway, where Toushiro took a deep breath.

"Miyone… I'm really glad that I met you. You're a great friend and you've really helped me in the past. These past few months have been great too. You're a beautiful, smart girl and any guy would be lucky to be with you," Toushiro said, "I really mean it when I say that I've enjoyed our time together."

"Thanks Toushiro. Is there anything else you wanted to say?" Miyone asked, her expression not betraying any emotion. Toushiro faltered.

"I… We... I wanted to say… I have to… It's difficult, but…" Toushiro stuttered, losing his nerve.

"Well I have something to say," Miyone said.

"Y-you do?" Toushiro asked.

"Yes. Toushiro, I'm afraid it's just not working out," Miyone said bluntly. Toushiro stared at her in stunned silence.

"Wha…what?" he said in shock.

"I'm sorry, but I just feel like we're not meant to be together. It was a lot of fun while it lasted, but… I can't keep on going out with you anymore. You don't feel the same way about me that I feel about you. I… I really wanted to be with you, but I know now that it was just wishful thinking on my part," Miyone said, tears beginning to come to her eyes. Toushiro didn't know what to say.

"Miyone… are you serious?" he asked. Miyone nodded.

"I… I want what's best for you, and I know now that that's not me," she said, wiping away tears, "I'm glad to be your friend, but it would be foolish of me to attempt to continue any romance between us. We were never meant to be together like this, we should have just stayed friends."

"Miyone… I'm sorry I put you through this," Toushiro said, "This is my fault."

"No Toushiro, I share plenty of the blame too," Miyone said, "I wanted so badly to be with you that I ignored the reality of what was going on. It…it's better that we go back to being friends. Besides… there's someone who needs you right now…"

---

Momo sat on a bench near Rangiku's parked car crying. She did not care about the cold or the snow, they made no difference to her. In her sadness, she did not notice approaching footsteps.

"Momo?"

Momo jumped a bit, and looked up to see Toushiro standing above her.

"T-Toushiro?"

"Do you mind if I sit down?" he asked.

"O-okay," Momo sniffled. Toushiro sat down next to her and looked at her silently for a minute before speaking.

"I like the way you did your hair," he said quietly.

"Thanks…" Momo said quietly.

"I liked your dress too."

"Thanks…"

"You're really beautiful Momo," Toushiro said.

"Stop it Toushiro. You don't need to say these things just to make me feel better," Momo said.

"I meant what I said."

"I… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even come! Everything is completely messed up! I don't even know what I was thinking!" Momo said tearily.

"What are you talking about?" Toushiro asked.

"I… I came here because Rangiku thought that I might get you to like me again if I appeared here. I even made a painting for you as a birthday present. I messed everything up though! I dropped the painting in a bunch of slush and my dress is ruined from falling down and from the punch! I was supposed to get you to like me, but I ended up just making you pity me!" Momo cried, "I shouldn't have done this in the first place. You'd be happier with Miyone than with me anyways. All I can do is force you to take care of me and watch as I die. There's no reason you should want to be with me instead of Miyone!"

"But I do not love Miyone," Toushiro said.

"I… You really… No, you're just saying that to make me feel better," Momo sniffled.

"I mean it Momo. Miyone is a good friend, but I never loved her. There is only one person I want to be with, and she doesn't need to get me a present or attend a dance to get me to love her; I already love her as she is," Toushiro said.

"T-Toushiro…" Momo said, looking into his turquoise eyes.

"Momo, I've been the biggest idiot on earth to even think of giving up on you. You probably hate me for what I've done, and I can never forgive myself, but… could you find it in your heart to forgive me?" Toushiro asked.

"Oh… Oh Toushiro, I could never hate you or refuse to forgive you! I love you!" Momo said, embracing Toushiro as tears flowed down her cheeks, "I love you more than I ever thought possible."

"I love you too, Momo," Toushiro said, "Words cannot express how much I love you. I can only offer you this." With that, he gently pressed his lips to hers and they engaged in a loving kiss.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Thank you to BLEACHISAWESOME, naruhinax, AznVKai, Merciless Ruby, simplyxcomplicated, DW64, lovelyxpeach, KnowledgeandImagination, Ophianara Blade, nexuswarrior, dee, Sonozaki-sama, Momo21, the eville pie, Snowy Peach Tsubasa, emily, lil katie, liquid prince, mistpool32132, and MoonLightView for reviewing last chapter! Please review!


	17. Chapter 17

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 17_

"Charles Fust," the voice called through the loudspeaker. Momo watched as Charles Fust got up from his seat and approached the podium at the front, where he was handed his high school diploma. The audience cheered loudly.

They were at their graduation ceremony. Rows of graduating students sat in the middle of the school's sports field as the audience watched from the bleachers. Students were called up in alphabetical order to receive their diplomas.

"Orin Gareman," the loudspeaker blared. Momo glanced at Toushiro sitting next to her. He offered her a smile and gave her hand a small squeeze. Momo was extremely happy. Ever since she and Toushiro had become a couple, life had changed for her. The world was a brighter place for her, and she was able to enjoy life much more than before. Her grades had vastly improved, allowing her enough credits to graduate, something she wasn't sure she could accomplish before. For her, graduation was even more of a milestone than it was for most students. It wasn't just that she had made it through school to this point, she had made it through life to this point. She had survived. She had lived long enough to see herself graduate from high school, which in the past was something she was unsure about.

"Heppi Hanaka," the loudspeaker said, and the girl sitting next to Momo stood up to receive her diploma. It would be her turn next. Momo nearly cried with happiness. She never thought that she would graduate under such happy circumstances, with good friends and the person who she had no doubt was her true love. She had lived most of her life under the idea that she could not have true happiness, that the only thing for her was the wait for death. She now knew how wrong she had been. The happiness she felt now gave her life more meaning than she could ever imagine. She would still die young, but what was left of her life would be filled with happiness and love for Toushiro. She really owed Toushiro everything. He had saved her from despair, and had given her life meaning.

"Momo Hinamori," her name was announced. Taking a deep breath, Momo stood up and walked to the podium, where she was handed her diploma. She smiled as the audience clapped their hands, and returned to her seat with a large smile on her face. Almost as soon as she had returned to her seat, Toushiro was called, and he went up to receive his diploma. After returning to his seat, he and Momo smiled at eachother, and it was only the fact that hundreds of people were watching that stopped them from sharing a kiss at that exact moment.

One after another, the remaining students from their graduating class were called up to receive their diplomas. There were over a hundred in total, each of them beaming with pride as they returned to their seats. When it was over, everyone cheered and the graduates threw their hats into the air in celebration. After it was over, both the graduates and the audience members mingled in the parking lot and the field. There was laughter, congratulations, and friendly chatter.

"Momo! Toushiro!" A voice loudly squealed. Momo and Toushiro turned, only to have Rangiku barrel into them and pull them into a crushing hug. "We did it! We all did it! Even me! I thought I was going to be held back again, but I did it!" she said happily as she smothered the two smaller graduates, "Oh I'm so excited!"

"Take it easy Rangiku, don't kill them," Rukia said from nearby, causing Rangiku to let go.

"Sorry, it's just so awesome!" Rangiku said, jumping up and down.

"I'm happy too," Orihime said as she approached, Tatsuki following her, "We've been in school for so long, and we've finally graduated! This will be one of the greatest moments of our lives! I'm going to go home and cook a special meal to celebrate!"

"You are? But I was planning on going to a restaurant with you guys in celebration!" Rangiku whined, "I even had reservations set up!"

"Then why didn't you tell us?" Tatsuki asked.

"I… I don't know, but you've just gotta come!" Rangiku begged, "It's a really nice place with great food!"

"Sorry, I'm eating with my parents tonight," Tatsuki said.

"What about you guys?" Rangiku said, turning to Momo and Toushiro, "I'm sure you two would love to come with me!"

"Sorry Rangiku, Toushiro and I were going to have dinner together at his place," Momo explained.

"Come on! You'd love this place! It's got a great romantic atmosphere!" Rangiku said.

"Really? Then I'm in!" Chizuru said from behind her.

"You will? That's great!" Rangiku said happily.

"Yeah, but only on one condition," Chizuru said with a wide grin, "You have to wear that new outfit I bought you for your birthday! The one that hugs your body tightly and shows your legs and holds up your boobs nicely…" Chizuru looked like she was about to drool.

"Okie-dokie! Sounds fine to me!" Rangiku said, oblivious to Chizuru's intentions, "You see guys? Chizuru will come with me?"

"So we can see," Tatsuki said with a chuckle. The others also began laughing, with even Toushiro allowing himself to laugh.

---

"Mmmmm… Toushiro, that was delicious," Momo said as she pushed her plate away, "I didn't think you'd be such a good cook."

"Well, I cook for myself a lot, so I get quite a bit of practice," Toushiro said. Momo stretched her arms and yawned.

"Is it okay with you if I go over to the couch to rest for a minute?" she asked.

"Sure, go ahead. I'll join you in a minute," Toushiro answered, picking up the dishes to take to the sink. Momo went over to the couch, and Toushiro joined her several minutes later.

Leaning against Toushiro, Momo let out a happy sigh, gently nuzzling against him. He responded to the gesture by putting an arm around Momo and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"It's sort of hard to believe," Toushiro said, "Graduation always seemed so far off…"

"Yeah… just think about what life has in store for you," Momo said.

"The same is true for you," Toushiro said. Momo sighed, this time sadly.

"Toushiro, please don't do this again," Momo pleaded, "I don't want to worry about that; let's just enjoy the time we have together."

"We will, and that time will last longer than you think," Toushiro said. They'd had this same discussion in the past. Though Momo no longer obsessed or lived in fear of death, she also accepted the inevitable. Toushiro, however, did not. No matter how many times she told him that she had accepted her fate and that she just wanted to live as happily as she could, he insisted that she would live. When he applied to college, he wanted her to do the same, but she refused on the grounds that with only a year or two left of life, there was little point to it. When he tried to help her achieve a driver's license, she insisted that it was unnecessary and that she would just be a danger to others if she were to drive. It was frustrating for Toushiro to see the girl he loved resign herself to death, when he hoped to live a long life with her. Logically, he knew that the probability that she would live more than a few more years was extremely low, yet he would not allow himself to believe that Momo would die. To him, there was no question that she would live. He would make sure of that.

"Fine…" Momo said, wanting to avoid the subject.

"I'm glad to have met you, Momo," Toushiro said quietly, "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can't begin to repay the happiness you've given me."

"I feel the same," Momo said, "You've given meaning to my life, and no matter what happens, I know I'll always love you."

"I'm not going to let you die," Toushiro whispered.

"Oh… Oh Toushiro… please don't do this to yourself," Momo said, "I just told you, I'm happy. I don't need false hopes to be happy with you, everything is perfect just the way it is. Don't torment yourself like this."

"I'm not talking about false hopes. I love you, and I won't lose you. There are treatments out there for you, I research them every day. Someday, we'll find a way to treat you," Toushiro said.

Momo didn't answer him, instead burying her face into his shoulder and closing her eyes to rest. He wouldn't give this issue up, and she saw no point in continuing it. She could only offer him as much love as she could until the day she died. Everything that had happened between them had forged their relationship into something beautiful, and Momo didn't need a long life to enjoy that, so long as she was with Toushiro.

Toushiro held her close to him, stroking her arm and looking down as she rested against him. She looked so beautiful and gentle. The idea of her dying hurt to think about. He kept telling himself that he would save her, but he didn't know how. His grip on her tightened a little as he thought about it. He didn't want to lose Momo. He would gladly give his own life to save hers. If only he could find a solution, he would do anything to make it happen.

They stayed cuddled together for a long time, perhaps hours. It was approaching nine o'clock when Toushiro shifted, causing Momo to get up.

"Do you want me to take you home now?" he asked quietly.

"Do you think… that maybe I could sleep here, with you?" Momo asked.

"If you really want to," Toushiro responded, "I could get a sheet and pillows to put on the couch for you."

"That's not what I meant," Momo said, "Could I sleep… _with_ you?" Toushiro looked at her in confusion for a moment before reality suddenly dawned on him.

"M-Momo!"

"Just for tonight Toushiro," Momo whispered, "I love you so much. Just let me be with you… let me love you."

Toushiro looked into her eyes for a moment and nodded, leaning forward to kiss her.

---

Miyone looked at her mother in shock, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"You… you weren't there?" she asked.

"Sorry, something came up," her mother answered.

"But… but it was my _graduation_!" Miyone said indignantly, "How could you not attend your own daughter's graduation? I thought you'd be proud of me! I was even the Salutatorian!"

"Like I said, something came up," her mother repeated.

"You can't even come up with a better excuse? Do you even care at all?" Miyone said angrily, "I worked myself to death to get that honor, and you didn't even show up! I should have known better than to think that you gave a rat's ass about me! It's always the same! In fact, if it hadn't been for Dad and the doctors overruling you, I wouldn't be here right now!"

"Miyone, of course I care, I just-"

"You just don't care enough to be there at one of the most important days of my life! You just don't care enough to give me vital medical care without your ex-husband and doctors forcing you to! You just don't care enough to actually raise me like an actual mother! I know the type of 'care' you feel for me, and I don't need it!" Miyone yelled.

She angrily turned away and marched straight to her room. She slammed the door behind her and kicked the side of the bed in anger, wincing at the pain in her foot. She sat down and angrily punched a pillow, breathing heavily, before breaking down in tears. She had worked so hard in the hopes that her mother would actually be proud, or at least acknowledge her hard work, but she hadn't even been at the ceremony today.

Miyone felt sick. She worked so hard, yet nothing seemed to come of it. Even with a job, schoolwork, and taking care of her siblings, nothing she did made her mother acknowledge her. She would act like she didn't care around others, but in truth, she desperately wanted her parents' approval. It was something it seemed that she would never have, however. She would just have to live with the fact that they didn't care enough to ever acknowledge her hard work.

Miyone wished there was someone whom she could talk to, but the only people who she was able to have a regular conversation with were Tamahone and Brianna, and as her brother and his fiance, they weren't the same as normal friends. Ever since she and Toushiro had broken up, Miyone's social life had essentially ended.

Never a particularly social person, Miyone nevertheless found that she greatly enjoyed her conversations with Toushiro, and he was one of the few people she could truly call a friend. She had ruined that friendship by becoming romantically involved with Toushiro, however. Because she had developed that stupid crush on him, their friendship had all but withered and died after they broke up. They still talked to eachother at times, and they weren't hostile, but it just wasn't the same as before. Her other friendships faltered after that too, as Miyone became increasingly involved in studies and work to take her mind off of Toushiro. She did not hold a grudge against him or Momo, but she could not help but feel sad that it was over. She really did care for him, and even if they couldn't be lovers, she wished that they could still be friends.

Wishful thinking, perhaps. Things were much too awkward now for them to be friends the way they used to be. It was unfortunate. Miyone could really use someone like Toushiro now. Sighing heavily, she looked over to her bulletin board, where several pictures of Toushiro were pinned. Curling up in bed, she closed her eyes, thinking back to happier times.

---

"Hello?" Toushiro answered the phone.

"_Hello Toushiro!"_ the voice on the other end of the line said.

"Hello Rangiku," Toushiro said, rolling his eyes slightly.

"_Listen Toushiro, Rukia asked me to go to the park with her. Orihime overheard it and wanted to come along too, and then Tatsuki joined in. Do you and Momo want to go with us?"_

"Sure, just let me get out of bed and I'll be happy to go," Toushiro said.

"_You're still in bed?! It's nearly eleven o'clock!" _Rangiku said in surprise.

"Yeah, well I had a late night," Toushiro said with a smirk.

"_Whatever you say. Meet us at the waterfront area of town in an hour. We'll take a walk to the park from there,"_ Rangiku said.

"Sounds good. Bye then," Toushiro said, hanging up the phone.

"So we're going to the park, huh?" Momo said. Toushiro looked down at her as they lay in bed, their clothes from the previous night in a messy pile on the floor.

"Yeah, we're meeting them in about an hour," Toushiro said.

"That sounds fine. We can still sleep in a bit more," Momo said as she cuddled up against Toushiro.

"Yeah, we still have some time," Toushiro answered, stroking her hair, let down from its usual bun. He breathed in Momo's wonderful scent, the smell bringing back memories of their magical night together.

Toushiro felt completely relaxed as Momo's warm body lay pressed against him. Her soft, smooth skin was warm to the touch, and he loved the feeling of it on his own skin. Their arms were around eachother and their legs in a tangled mess as their naked bodies lay together in a loving embrace. The smile on Momo's face made Toushiro feel warm and happy inside.

Momo held on to Toushiro, snuggling against him as his small arms embraced her. He made her feel safe, and though she was completely naked from head to toe, felt no embarrassment. She trusted Toushiro and felt secure with him. The memories of the previous night played over and over in her head as she cuddled against Toushiro, love binding them together.

After resting a little longer, Toushiro cleared his throat and looked into Momo's eyes with a smile.

"I think we'd better get up soon if we want to make it there in time," he said.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," Momo replied, getting up to retrieve her clothes.

---

"There you guys are! We've been waiting for you!" Rukia said.

"Sorry. We- er, I needed to take a shower," Momo said with a slight blush and a sideways glance at Toushiro.

"Well, now that we're here, I suppose we should go to the park, right?" Toushiro asked.

"Nope, first we're getting ice-cream!" Rangiku said. Toushiro sighed as he followed her and the others to a nearby ice-cream shack.

They each picked out a flavor of ice cream cone. Toushiro got blue moon, Momo got peach sherbet, Rangiku got strawberry, Rukia got vanilla, Tatsuki got chocolate, and Orihime got rum raisin with skittles. As they ate their ice-cream and began walking towards the park, someone walked out from around the corner of the store, bumping into Toushiro.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't not-" Toushiro broke off when he saw who it was, "Miyone? What are you doing here?"

"Toushiro… I… I work here, remember? I just got done with my shift," Miyone said, pointing to a folded set of clothes that she carried. Everyone looked away nervously, including Miyone and Toushiro. There was an awkward silence.

"Well, um, it was nice to see you," Miyone said hesitantly, looking away from her old friend.

"Yeah… you to," Toushiro said, awkwardly avoiding eye contact. He and the others began to walk away, but Momo stared back at Miyone.

"Wait, Miyone!" she called out, running back to her, "We were going to the park. Would you like to join us?"

"What? You… you really… I… I don't… I…" Miyone stuttered, seemingly unsure of what to say.

"You don't have to, but we'd love to have you come along with us," Momo said. Miyone hesitated before responding.

"Are… are you sure you want me to go with you? Even after… you know…" Miyone said, looking up at Toushiro and the others, whose eyes were filled with surprise as they looked at her and Momo.

"I'm sure," Momo said with a smile, "You're Toushiro's friend after all, which means you're my friend too." Miyone's eyes filled with tears, which she promptly wiped away.

"I… I'm not sure what to say. I guess… I guess I'll just say… thank you," she said.

"No problem," Momo said, "Now come on. The sooner we go, the more time we'll have to stay! Just watch out for the ducks!"

"So I've heard," Miyone said, glancing at Toushiro who offered a small smile. Nearly all of them burst into laughter, and began walking over to the park.

* * *

Thanks for Reading. Thank you to Momo21, AznVKai, KnowledgeandImagination, Sonozaki-sama, MoonLightView, BLEACHISAWESOME, DW64, halliegirl, Merciless Ruby, lovelyxpeach, dee, nexuswarrior, liquid prince, feeeesh, and naruhinax for reviewing! As you could probably tell, I decided to utilize a timeskip. I hope it wasn't too jarring. Please review!


	18. Chapter 18

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 18_

"Slow down, Ginger!" Momo said, holding onto the leash of the apricot poodle as it attempted to run after a squirrel.

"She really likes this place," Rangiku noted, looking around at the small park by the side of the lake where she, Momo, Orihime, Rukia, and Miyone walked leisurely.

"No matter how many times we come here, I always love this place," Orihime said with a smile.

"Yes, the atmosphere is very relaxing," Rukia agreed.

They walked silently for several minutes, taking in the natural beauty of the place. They listened to the chirping birds and the leaves rustling in the wind. Occasionally, Ginger would try to chase after a squirrel or toad, though she never caught them.

"So why didn't Toushiro come? Didn't you invite him?" Orihime asked.

"Um, Toushiro is… busy," Momo said blandly, glancing away awkwardly.

"What's he busy with?" Rangiku asked.

"Oh… nothing…" Momo said nervously, "Hey, I'm getting kind of tired, do you mind if I sit down for a minute?"

"Sure okay, there's a bench right over there," Rukia said. They walked over to a nearby bench where Momo sat down.

"So what's Toushiro up to?" Orihime asked.

"I told you, it's nothing," Momo repeated, "Besides, I don't know the details."

"But you two are always together! Surely you must know what he's been doing! He's been acting preoccupied lately and I'm sure you know what's up with him! Doesn't he talk to you when you go out on dates or spend time together?" Rangiku said.

"Hey… I, uh, just remembered there's something I need to do back at my house," Miyone said suddenly.

"Are you sure?" Rukia asked.

"Y-yes, I'm sure. Thanks for inviting me, but I've really got to go. Bye," Miyone said quickly, turning and walking away at a swift pace.

The others were silent for a minute, the only sound being Ginger growling at a large beetle on the ground. It wasn't until Miyone was out of sight that Momo spoke.

"You shouldn't have brought Toushiro up like that," she said, "You know it's a sensitive subject for Miyone. She and Toushiro are starting to re-establish their friendship, but it's still delicate. You don't need to bring up the relationship between Toushiro and I when you're around her."

"But she's already fully aware of it, so there's not much of a point to trying to avoid the topic, is there?" Rangiku said.

"Yes, but as I said it's a delicate issue, and Miyone probably feels uncomfortable when it's brought up. I can tell that she's really happy to have been accepted into our little circle of friends, but she's still not quite used to it, and we need to allow her time to become adjusted before we can openly discuss things like that," Momo explained.

"She's been hanging out with us for a month, she's going to have to get over it soon…" Rukia said.

"Be patient with her. She has a lot of issues going on at home and is in a really stressful situation," Momo said, "She needs our friendship and support. In the future, I'm sure we'll be able to talk about this sort of thing more normally."

"I suppose you're right," Rangiku said, "So… what is Toushiro doing?" Momo hesitated.

"Oh, just… stuff…"

---

"Are you sure? That doesn't sound right," Toushiro spoke into the telephone, "No wait, I'm not talking about that, I mean conditions that were present since birth… Oh, I see. Very well, I'll contact them. Thank you for your time." He hung up the phone with a sigh. Yet another place that was unable to help him. He scribbled down the name and number of the clinic that had been recommended to him, though he doubted that it would be able to offer anything useful.

He bit down on the end of his pen nervously. In front of him was a long list of doctors, researchers, professors, and consultants from a number of medical establishments, research institutes, and universities. Thus far, none had been able to help him, and despite a few promising leads, he was no closer to his objective than when he started.

He couldn't really blame them for the difficulty though. He didn't have Momo's medical record and didn't know the specific details of her condition. All he knew was that she was born with a defective heart that was unable to function normally. With just that information, it was little wonder that no one had been able to help him. He had asked Momo for her medical records, but she had refused. She didn't want to focus on saving her life. She was finally happy, no longer fearing friendship or joy, and didn't want to focus on what she viewed as a vain effort to save her life. Toushiro understood her reasoning, but it frustrated him. Momo may be satisfied with just living the rest of her days happy, but Toushiro wasn't. He wanted her to live a long, full life, and would do anything to make that happen.

They didn't discuss this openly. Toushiro knew that Momo did not want to deal with such stressful actions right now, and thus did his research for a cure in private. She was perfectly aware of it though, and there was an unspoken understanding between them that his actions would not be brought up, and that whenever they spent time together they would just be happy and not worry about such things.

As Toushiro was about to dial the phone again, there was a knock on the door. That was probably Momo, she had said that she would come over some time that day. Sighing, he put the phone down and went to answer the door.

---

"Miyone! Miyone, wait up!" Rangiku called running after Miyone as she walked down along the sidewalk.

"Oh, hi Rangiku. What are you doing here?" she asked.

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here? Your shift at your job is at this time! Are you skipping work?" Rangiku said playfully.

"Um, actually I was fired," Miyone said awkwardly.

"Ooh, sorry," Rangiku said, regretting her joke, "What did they fire you for?"

"Nothing really, they were just cutting back on employees and I was one of the younger ones, so…"

"I understand," Rangiku assured her, "Why didn't you tell us though? Just the other day you told us that you couldn't make one of our outings because of your job."

"I didn't want you guys to know," Miyone admitted.

"Why? It wasn't your fault. It's nothing to be ashamed of, we would have understood," Rangiku said.

"I know, but still… I didn't want to draw attention to myself." They stopped, looking into eachother's eyes for a moment as they stood on the sidewalk.

"What do you mean?" Rangiku finally said.

"Well… You guys invited me to be your friend. No, actually I should say that Momo invited me into your circle of friends. I'm grateful for it, and it's really made me happy, but I feel that I shouldn't say do anything that might stand out too much," Miyone explained.

"This is about Toushiro, isn't it?" Rangiku asked. Miyone let out a hollow laugh.

"You're really good at figuring people out, aren't you?" she said with a grim smile.

"Not me, Momo. She said that Toushiro is a sensitive subject for you, which is why you act weird sometimes," Rangiku said.

"I see," Miyone sighed, "It's true, part of the reason that I try not to stand out is because I don't want to interrupt Toushiro and Momo's relationship. Momo invited me into your group, and I owe it to her and Toushiro not to get in their way by being too… I don't know. I just think that it's better if I keep my head low. I really have been a lot happier after you guys invited me into your group, and I'm actually having real conversations with Toushiro again, but I worry that if I become too involved, I might end up accidentally stepping upon Momo and Toushiro's relationship."

"What makes you think that?" Rangiku asked.

"I don't know. It's just that when I think of my friendship with Toushiro before… it just wouldn't work now. I can't spend hours of time alone with him in a room, I couldn't go swimming with him or go to a movie with him. All of the things we did back then were innocent enough, but because I was foolish enough to get romantically involved with him, all of that type of stuff is out of the question. I'm not just talking about those things of course, those are just examples. What I mean is… I worry that if I become too involved in the group, or if I become too close to Toushiro, I might end up getting between him and Momo. I really don't want to do that. Despite everything that has happened, I want to respect Toushiro and Momo's relationship, and even the possibility that I might cause them harm is unacceptable to me."

"That's very considerate of you, but I don't think it's really necessary," Rangiku said, "Momo's not the jealous type, and Toushiro still wants to be your friend. These past few weeks, you and he have had plenty of nice conversations. You don't have to constantly keep yourself reserved out of worry. Toushiro and Momo both consider you a friend now, and they wouldn't want you feeling like you couldn't act normally around them."

"That's true, but…"

"Tell you what, I'll take you over right now! Momo is at Toushiro's place, and I'm sure they wouldn't mind are company," Rangiku said.

"I don't know. Wouldn't it be rude to interrupt their privacy?" Miyone asked.

"Oh don't worry about that," Rangiku assured her, "They weren't expecting privacy when they planned the day. I was supposed to go over to clean Toushiro's house an hour ago."

---

"Toushiro, somebody's at the door!" Momo called. Toushiro walked out from the other room towards the door, grumbling that if it was Rangiku he was making her work overtime for being late.

"Hellooooooo Toushiro!" Rangiku said cheerily, "Look, I brought a guest!" She gestured at Miyone behind her.

"Hello Miyone," Toushiro said with a slight nod, "So Rangiku, not only were you late, you decided to bring a guest without invitation. Oh don't worry Miyone, you can stay," he quickly added, noticing the look on her face when he said that, "However, I think that Rangiku here is going to have to work extra hard today for being late. Rangiku, go make tea and cookies."

"What? But that's not fair! We were hoping to have a nice chat and-"

"Get in the kitchen and make tea and cookies now, maid!" Toushiro said with a satisfied smirk on his face as Rangiku went off to the kitchen grumbling and dragging her feet. He turned to Miyone, saying "Please sit down."

"Thanks," Miyone said, sitting down in a chair while Toushiro sat down next to Momo. She cleared her throat nervously. "Um… I'm sorry to have intruded like this. It was Rangiku's idea."

"It's no problem, we enjoy your company," Toushiro said.

"I… I'm glad. I don't want this to be awkward or anything, but I really am grateful for still being willing to talk to me," Miyone said.

"Why wouldn't I want to talk to you? Toushiro asked.

"Well… you know…" Miyone mumbled. Momo suddenly smiled.

"Don't worry about that," she said, "That's all in the past, you don't have to worry about it. You're a very special person to Toushiro, and I don't want you to think that you have to avoid him or tiptoe around us just because of what happened before."

"Are you sure?" Miyone asked skeptically.

"Miyone, you were one of my first friends in this town," Toushiro said, "We both made some mistakes, but I wouldn't want to stop being friends with you just because of that. You're a good friend, and I certainly don't want that to change."

"I… you really mean… but… th-that is…" Miyone stuttered, unable to come up with the right words before finally clearing her throat and settling on an answer, "Thank you."

"No problem," Momo smiled, "I think I'll go help Rangiku make tea now."

When Momo stood up however, she suddenly froze and began swaying in place. Her breathing became heavy and she began sweating visibly.

"Momo! Momo, what's wrong?" Toushiro said, standing up in alarm.

"I- I'm okay! I just… stood up too quickly…" Momo said as she gasped for breath, "I just…" She collapsed back onto the couch, her face pale as she began clutching her chest.

"We've got to get her to a hospital," Miyone said.

"Toushiro, no, I'm fine, I just-" Momo broke off and winced, clutching her chest tighter.

"I'm calling an ambulance," Toushiro said, running across the room to the phone.

"Y-yes…" Momo conceded, "That…that's probably a good idea…"

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to MoonLightView, Sonozaki-sama, AznVKai, BLEACHISAWESOME, KnowledgeandImagination, lovelyxpeach, DW64, nexuswarrior, Merciless Ruby, dee, OrigamiPearl, moonlightgabriel, Hanahan Hinamori, chococat450, naruhinax, Momo21, Arborea, and jazflower for reviewing! Please review!


	19. Chapter 19

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 19_

Toushiro paced around the hospital waiting room tensely. Others there avoided eye contact with the brooding young man. He was never the impatient type, but in this situation, it was impossible not to feel anxiety over the wait.

After taking Momo to the hospital, she had been quickly taken in for medical examination. Since Toushiro was not related to her however, hospital policy would not allow him to accompany her. He imagined that she was quite scared, and could only hope that she was okay. A nurse had come out earlier to tell him that she was in no immediate danger, and while this gave him some comfort, the nurse also said that they would be running more tests on Momo, meaning that it would be even longer before he could see her.

Had he not been in a hospital, Toushiro would have cursed under his breath. Momo's condition brought pain to both of their lives, even if they acted as though everything was okay now. It loomed like a dark cloud over everything they did. Toushiro had looked into treatment, but without Momo's medical records, he couldn't go very far in that search. Furthermore, he was not sure that they would have enough money to afford any treatment that he did find. Momo's family left a pool of money to pay for her medication and treatment, but that fund was rapidly dwindling, and wouldn't be able to pay for a major operation. Toushiro had plenty of money himself courtesy of his wealthy parents, but they had outright told him that they didn't want him transferring any of his money to Momo. They had already put his money into a complex set of bank accounts and mutual funds to ensure that he would not spend freely, and the only money he had that could be readily accessed was not nearly enough.

He would not give up however. For Momo, he wouldn't give up. He would keep fighting to save her life.

"Toushiro Hitsugaya?" a voice said from behind him. He looked over to see a young nurse standing just outside the waiting room. He immediately went to her.

"Yes, what is it?" he said, hoping for news about Momo.

"Miss Hinamori's examination is over. She would like to meet with you to discuss something," the nurse said. Toushiro nodded and followed as she began walking down the hall.

"Why are you letting me see her now and not earlier?" Toushiro asked.

"The examination is over, and the doctor had already explained to her the results and given his assessment," the nurse explained, "She insists that you come to discuss it with her and the doctor as well, however, and we decided that it would be best to grant that request."

"I see…" Toushiro said. He followed her through the maze of halls, carefully avoiding other doctors and patients as they walked by. After what felt like a long time but in reality only a few minutes, the nurse stopped at the door.

"This is her room," the nurse said, "Miss Hinamori and the doctor are inside." She opened the door to let Toushiro in.

The first thing Toushiro saw was Momo. The second was her red face and teary eyes. He immediately went to her and put his hand on her shoulder in concern.

"Momo, are you okay?" he said, keeping his voice soft and hiding the worry he felt. Momo sniffled and nodded slightly. "What happened? Why are you crying?" Toushiro asked.

"I… I don't know what to say," she said, "Ha-have the doctor explain." Toushiro turned, and the doctor who stood nearby cleared his throat.

"We gave her an examination to make sure that her heart was functioning normally. After a while, we determined that what she experienced earlier was nothing to be alarmed about. To be sure however, we gave her an overall examination. We were about to let her go when we noticed something else," the doctor said calmly.

"What?" Toushiro asked nervously.

"It would appear that Momo is five weeks pregnant."

There was a silence. Toushiro's voice stuck in his throat, and he found himself unable to speak. He looked at Momo, who turned her eyes away to stare at the floor.

"Pregnant?" he finally managed to say. The doctor nodded.

"Yes, is it safe to assume that you are the father?" the doctor asked. Toushiro nodded numbly, upon which the doctor spoke again, "Unfortunately, due to Momo's condition, going through with the pregnancy will be extremely dangerous."

"What do you mean?"

"Pregnancy puts a large amount of stress on a woman's body," the doctor explained, "For most women, this is uncomfortable and inconvenient, but in Momo's case it could be deadly. The volume of blood increases by nearly forty percent. Heart rate and the volume of blood being pumped when the heart beats also increase. This naturally puts a lot more stress on the heart, which Momo's may not be able to handle. Metabolistic, respiratory, and hormonal changes may also be damaging to her, and it's doubtful that she'll be able to put on the necessary weight for a healthy pregnancy. I'll be honest. If she goes through with the pregnancy, it is extremely likely that she won't survive. The chances of a miscarriage are equally high. The odds of both her and the baby surviving are less than ten percent. I can't dictate what you do, but I would strongly recommend that you consider terminating this pregnancy before it goes any further."

"I…I see…" Toushiro said, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Would you like me to give you a more thorough description of your options, or would you prefer to talk with Momo for now?" the doctor asked.

"I think I'd like to talk to her for now…" Toushiro said quietly. The doctor nodded and left the room.

When he was gone, Toushiro stared at Momo quietly for several minutes. Neither of them said a word, though both clearly understood the seriousness of the situation. This changed everything. Momo was pregnant. She and Toushiro had conceived a child that now grew in her. Had their circumstances been different, this might have been a happy moment. Not in their case however. The prospect of Momo dying in the near future was very real. They had known that she didn't have long to live, but the idea that within nine months she would very likely die was just too horrible to think about.

"I'm sorry," Momo whispered, still staring at the floor.

"For what?" Toushiro asked, "This isn't your fault."

"Yes it is," Momo said, a tear rolling down her cheek, "I seduced you, remember? It was my idea for us to…"

"Enough of that nonsense," Toushiro said, "I bear just as much responsibility as you in this. We may have been foolish not to take precautions, but now isn't the time to think of that. The only thing that matters now is figuring out what to do." They were once again silent for a moment.

"The-the doctor said that we should probably… terminate it…" Momo said quietly. Toushiro looked at her, trying to analyze her expression.

"Is that what you want?" he asked calmly.

"I… I don't know," Momo admitted, "I see the logic in his words. My body is too weak to carry a child. The baby will likely die in my womb anyways due to my weakness. I may end up dying with it. I was ready for death, but to take another being with me isn't fair. Even if I survive giving birth, I'll probably die not long after that, as I would have anyways, and then the baby would be left without a mother. It's…definitely the logical choice to terminate it now."

"If that's what you want, then I will support you," Toushiro said, "But judging from your voice, I'm not entirely sure it is what you want." Momo gave him a half-hearted smile.

"You're right. I don't think I could go through with that. It might be the smart choice, but I just can't do it," she said, "Even if I end up dying, I want to at least give it a chance. I remember… I remember in the past wishing that I would become a mother some day. I thought it was one of those things that I'd never be able to experience. I guess I probably still won't, but even so, the chance… You probably don't understand."

"No, I understand," Toushiro said, "I understand that you want to live, despite anything you say otherwise."

"Toushiro…" Momo whispered.

"Momo, give me access to your medical records," Toushiro said, "I know they have them here, and you can sign a form giving me access to them. If you just gave them to me, I know I'd be able to find a cure for you."

"But-but Toushiro…"

"It's not just you anymore that I have to save. Please Momo. Let me save you," Toushiro said softly but with great emotion behind the words. Momo slowly nodded.

"Okay Toushiro, I agree," she said. Toushiro immediately embraced her, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"I promise you Momo, I'll save you," he whispered, "The baby too. Both of you will survive, and we'll live together as a family." Momo was once again teary eyed, but this time she was smiling.

"Thank you, Toushiro," she said as she hugged him.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to AznVKai, Silent Star of Silent Night, MoonLightView, nexuswarrior, OrigamiPearl, Momo21, BLEACHISAWESOME, DW64, music-rox12, KnowledgeandImagination, dee, moonlightgabriel, Sonozaki-sama, Merciless Ruby, and naruhinax for reviewing last chapter. Please review!


	20. Chapter 20

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 20_

* * *

"Oh Momo… I can barely believe it," Rangiku gasped. They were in Momo's house, and she had just finished explaining the situation

"It's true," Momo said, "I'm about six weeks pregnant." Rangiku, Rukia, Orihime, and Miyone stared at her in a combination of shock, worry, sympathy, and surprise.

"I had no idea that you and Toushiro… Well, you know…" Rangiku said awkwardly.

"We were reckless," Momo said sadly, "We should have been more careful."

"Is there any chance of delivering the baby safely?" Orihime asked. Momo shook her head.

"The doctors don't think so. The chances of it dying while still inside me are high. I might end up dying too. I… I feel so ashamed. I could handle dying on my own, but now I've brought another life into this. An innocent life that will die because my body is too weak to carry it…" Momo said, nearly in tears.

"There's still hope though, isn't there?" Rukia asked, "You said that Toushiro was trying to find a way to cure your condition. If he succeeds, both you and the baby will end up living."

"There have already been several attempts to cure me. None of them did anything more than delay the inevitable. I've had surgeries, taken medications, and gone through all sorts of physical therapy, but nothing has worked," Momo explained, "Even if Toushiro were somehow successful, they couldn't operate on me while pregnant, and by the time they could, it would be too late for both me and the baby. Besides, we wouldn't have the money to pay for an expensive procedure. Toushiro's parents have taken steps to ensure that his money is not used on me, and I only have enough money to pay for my most basic needs. I… I guess I shouldn't worry about that though, seeing as there's no way a cure will be found anyways…"

"Momo," Miyone said sternly, "Do you remember what once told you? About not giving up? That is true now more than ever. You're not just fighting to live for yourself anymore. Toushiro, your unborn child, even us, your friends, all need you. You have a responsibility to fight your hardest to live, for the sake of the people who rely on you and care about you."

"But with something like this, it doesn't matter how hard you fight against it," Momo said, "I've stopped living in fear of death and letting my condition control my life, but how can you expect me to make myself live through it? I can't just tell my heart 'Hey, could you get better so that I'll live past 20?' can I?"

"You're forgetting something crucial: Toushiro is doing everything he can to help you," Miyone said.

"I'm grateful for what he's doing, but be realistic. What are the chances of him stumbling upon a treatment unknown to all of the doctors I've been to in the past?" Momo said.

"Toushiro loves you," Miyone said quietly, "He will do anything to help you. He'd sooner give you his own heart than let you die. He'd travel to the ends of the Earth searching for a cure. He won't give up until he's convinced that you will live. That's the type of person Toushiro is."

"But…" Momo said, trailing off.

"Trust him. Believe in him," Miyone said, putting a hand on Momo's shoulder, "Believe that he will save you. I do." Momo hesitated before nodding.

"Yes… You're right, I know. I just… I'm just so scared…" Momo said quietly, "I'm scared that I'll lose the baby, and I'm scared about what will happen after that. I thought I had come to terms with what would happen to me, but now things are different. If I die, the baby inside of me will die too. It relies on me, its mother, to provide a safe place for it to grow, and I don't know that I can provide that."

"Put aside your fears and trust in Toushiro," Miyone repeated. Momo nodded slowly.

During the brief pause in conversation, the doorbell rang, and all present looked up.

"Is it Toushiro?" Orihime asked.

"No, he said that he wouldn't be back until much later," Momo said, standing up to answer the door. She walked over to the front door and opened it.

A thin man wearing a bright purple suit, a top hat, and orange-striped pants stood in the doorway. He carried a cane in one hand and was using the other to twirl his rust-colored moustache.

"Um, can I help you?" Momo asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I'ma here to look'a at the art!" he said in a high, flutey voice.

"Excuse me?" Momo asked in confusion.

"I'ma sorry, let'a me introduce myself," he said, "I'ma Giorgos! I'ma from Italy!"

"You don't sound Italian," Orihime noted.

"Yeah, you sound like a guy who played Mario a few too many times," Rangiku said.

"No no, I'ma Italian! I'ma art scout searching for paintings for my wealthy client!" he said, his voice taking on a rather bouncy tone.

"Voi don' la t dice una parola di italiano, fate?" Miyone said, arms crossed as she looked him over.

"Sorry, I don't speak'a Austrian!" Giorgos said.

"Okay, I think it's time for you to go now," Miyone said, rolling her eyes and beginning to close the door.

"Wait wait! What'a about the art?" he said, sticking a boot in the door to prevent it from closing.

"What art?" Miyone asked irritably.

"I was'a recommended to come here in search of art for my client! He's in a bad mood because his'a brother was just arrested in Moscow Airport with 37 pounds of has in his bag! It'sa very important that I get'a him some nice works to improve his mood!"

"37 _pounds_? If you were Italian, wouldn't you be using metric measurements?" Miyone said.

"Never mind'a that! I'ma told that'a a master artist lives here!" Giorgos said, "Now which one of you might it'a be?"

"I… I'm an artist, but I only paint for leisure, I'm not a professional," Momo said meekly.

"That'sa okay, great art comes from all places!" Giorgos said enthusiastically, "Now let's go in and take a look'a at your works!"

"Wait a minute, how do you know that Momo paints?" Rukia said suspiciously.

"I was'a referred by a nice young couple. They asked to be identified only as 'T & B' when they came to me. They say'a that you're a masterful artist, and I'a absolutely must see your work!" Giorgos said.

"T & B, who do we know with those initials?" Rangiku thought to herself.

"Tuberculosis? That's called TB," Orihime suggested.

"Yes, but tuberculosis can't send a crazy faux-Italian after you…" Rukia muttered, "He said they were a couple, right? Just think of all the couples we know and we should be able to figure it out." Miyone's eyes suddenly widened.

"Wait… was the man in this couple a big guy who stutters a lot?" she asked, a hint of dread in her voice.

"Why'a yes he is! You must know him!" Giorgos said as Miyone covered her face and let out a groan, "So can I'a come in?"

Momo glanced at her friends, who had mixed expressions. She thought about it for a moment before finally nodding.

"Okay, come in," she sighed, "I don't have a lot of stuff though, so don't get your hopes up."

"That'sa fine. Where's your art studio?" he asked.

"Well the room I keep my paintings in is down the hall…" Momo said hesitantly, leading the man through her house awkwardly, her friends looking on with doubt.

When they got to the room with Momo's artwork, they were all beginning to feel that it may have been a mistake to let the eccentric man into the house. When she flipped the light switch on though, he let out a joyful cry, and ran up to the nearest painting. They watched as he moved his head to look over it from every angle, moving forward and stepping back occasionally. He grinned widely, and immediately went to the next one and repeated the process. He was now chuckling to himself, practically skipping from one painting to the next.

"Yes… yes this is wonderful!" he said ecstatically, "The color blending, the brush strokes, the details, they're all fantastic! My client will be very pleased to obtain paintings such as these! In fact, not just him, there will be many more who will seek out such fabulous works of art!"

"You really like them that much?" Momo asked.

"Oh indeed I do! I would be most interested in purchasing several of these right now, and more later! Let's see… this one, this one, and this one should be good to start with!" Giorgos said, picking out three paintings, "What do you say?"

"I… I don't know what to say," Momo said, "I… think I'll talk to my friends for a moment."

Momo, Rukia, Rangiku, Orihime, and Miyone quickly exited to the hall, where they spent the next several moments staring blankly at eachother.

"Is this guy for real?" Rukia finally said.

"I don't know. He _seemed_ to be serious about wanting to buy them," Rangiku said.

"But the guy is clearly crazy," Miyone said, "Chances are he'll pay you the equivalent of a few days worth of salary and then give the paintings to a pet skink or something stupid like that. Do you really want to part with something you put so much work into for a little extra spending cash?"

"A bit of extra money is always nice, but those paintings are nicer," Orihime said.

"Yeah, you're right," Momo said, "We'd better tell him that they aren't for sale." The others nodded and went back in with her.

"We, uh, talked it over, and we decided that these paintings are more of a personal hobby, and really aren't for sale," Momo said.

"Are you sure? I can pay you right away," Giorgos said.

"Thanks for the offer, but I already have enough money for my day-to-day life," Momo said gently.

"I'll give you twenty thousand Euros cash," Giorgos said, pulling a large amount of bound Euro notes from his pocket. Momo and the others took a sudden intake of breath.

"T-T-T-T-Twen-Twenty th-thou-thousand… Twenty thousand…" Momo sputtered, her eyes wide.

"What, that's not enough? Fine, twenty-five thousand! And there's more where that comes from!" Giorgos said. Momo had a sort of twisted smile on her face and was beginning to hyperventilate as she stood there.

"Momo, calm down!" Rangiku quickly said, putting a hand on her shoulder, "Remember your condition. Take slow, easy breaths!" Momo's breathing slowed down, and she began to giggle childishly with a dazed look on her face.

"Twenty-five thousand…" she said breathlessly, "Twenty-five _thousand_…"

"Momo, do you realize what this means?" Miyone said, "You'll surely be able to afford any treatment that Toushiro finds! Money isn't an issue anymore!

"So what do you say? Will you accept my offer?" Giorgos asked. Momo looked up with a big smile.

"Yes, it would be my honor," she said, still laughing a bit to herself, her friends beginning to join in on the laughter.

---

Toushiro strode through the halls of the university, checking each door he passed as he searched to find the correct one. The building was massive, far larger than any school he had attended, and it was difficult to find what he was looking for. There were some students in the halls, but it seemed that most classes were already in session. After searching multiple floors and halls, Toushiro finally found the room he was looking for. Taking a deep breath and tightly clutching the file containing a copy of Momo's medical records, he knocked on the door.

"Come in," a voice said from the other side. Toushiro opened the door and walked into the office.

A grey haired man with a discolored nose sat at a desk. Toushiro looked over him carefully, making sure he was the right person. He had seen the man's picture on the internet, and there was no doubt that this was him. The discolored bulbous nose – a result of rosacea – made him unmistakable.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"Are you Professor Morgan?" Toushiro asked.

"Indeed I am," Professor Morgan said.

"The famous researcher of cardiac and coronary disease?"

"Yes, I specialize in diseases relating to the heart," the professor said, "Is there something I can help you with?"

"I need to talk to you about something," Toushiro said, "You're an expert on this topic, and I'm sure you can help."

"Are you a student here? If not then I'm afraid that I can't have meetings without proper appointments. Normally there is a nominal fee involved as well…"

"Please, you may be the only one who can help me," Toushiro pleaded, "My situation is dire. Every second counts. I can't afford to wait and make an appointment, I need to speak to you _now_."

"Well… I suppose that I have some time to spare before I'm needed for my next appointment," Professor Morgan said, "Very well, I'll hear you out. Please take a seat."

"Thank you sir," Toushiro said, taking a seat across from the professor.

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to nexuswarrior, AznInvasionGirl, AznVKai, Sonozaki-sama, naruhinax, KnowledgeandImagination, Merciless Ruby, MoonLightView, DW64, Xuco, lovelyxpeach, dee, ScienceAngel, and moonlight gabriel for reviewing! Please review!


	21. Chapter 21

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 21_

Momo watched the headlights of yet another car go past her house and into the night.

"I guess that one wasn't him either…" Momo sighed.

"You should go inside before it gets too cold," Rangiku said, shivering a little as she sat next to Momo on the doorsteps.

"No, I'm staying out here to wait for him," Momo said insistently, "I have to tell him the good news."

"How do you know that he'll come here tonight? Maybe he went to a place too far away for a one day trip and rented a room at an inn for the night, or maybe he decided that it was too late to stop by here and planned to come in the morning instead," Rangiku said.

"No, I'm certain that he'll come. He almost always visits to say goodnight, and when he doesn't he at least gives me a phone call," Momo replied.

"If you say so, but I'll have to go soon and I don't want you sitting out here all night," Rangiku said.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine," Momo assured her, "You can go home if you like, I'm perfectly fine on my own."

"Well if you say so…" Rangiku said, standing up to go to her car, "If you need anything else though, call me, okay?"

"Sure Rangiku, have a nice night," Momo said. Rangiku nodded and went off to her car, driving off into the night moments later.

Momo sighed. She had been waiting for Toushiro all evening, eager to tell him the good news. If there was a treatment out there, she would now almost certainly be able to afford it. Even if they couldn't find a treatment for her, they would at least be able to afford the best doctors possible so that she would at least live long enough to deliver her baby.

Momo reflexively put a hand over her belly at the thought of her and Toushiro's unborn child. She had to survive just a bit longer, for the sake of the baby. Her body was weak, but she was determined to go through with the pregnancy. Even if she didn't make it, she hoped that she would at least be able to give birth to the baby before she died. Hopefully she would now be able to afford treatments that could least extend her life long enough to deliver her child.

"Hey Momo, I-"

"Waaaaaaaaah!" Momo shouted throwing her arms up in the air and jumping in surprise at the sudden voice. She only then realized that Toushiro was standing right next to her.

"What was that about?" he asked. Momo took several deep breaths before responding.

"T-Toushiro, don't sneak up on me like that! You're going to give me a heart attack, and- hey, why are you smiling?" She said in indignation as Toushiro looked at her with a rare smile. He suddenly embraced her.

"Momo, I have wonderful news," he whispered, "I found a person who knows a way to treat you!" Momo stared at him in shock.

"Treat me? But… but all these years, no one has ever-"

"He can do it," Momo said, "I've scheduled an appointment with his colleague two days from now who will explain the types of procedures that could be used to cure you. You're going to live Momo. Both you and the baby are going to live." Momo stared at Toushiro in shock for a moment. Her face was at first frozen in place, but then tears began to flow from her eyes. She buried her head in Toushiro's shoulder and cried loudly.

"Momo, I said that there was a way to treat you! That's a good thing! Why are you crying?" Toushiro said in alarm. Momo sniffled and looked up at him with a smile.

"I'm just so happy," she said softly.

"You're weird," Toushiro said, rolling his eyes. Momo giggled a little bit.

"Well at least I don't sneak up on people and scare them. How did you get here without me noticing?" Momo said.

"I parked my car at my house and then walked over here. It was a nice night for it. Speaking of which, I should probably go back now," he said. Momo grabbed onto his arm before he could move though.

"Don't go Toushiro. I… I have good news too. I met a man today… he's an art dealer. He bought some of my paintings and he's going to buy more!" Momo said.

"That's great Momo, but if you need money for food and stuff, I can always-"

"Not for food! The treatment! Even if you found the treatment, it wouldn't do any good if we couldn't afford it! This guy paid me 25,000 Euros and there's more where that came from!" Momo said excitedly. Toushiro's eyes widened.

"_Thousand_? Are you sure he didn't just say 25 Euros?" he asked in disbelief.

"See for yourself," Momo said with a grin, pulling out a wad of purple bills. Toushiro shakily took one of them and looked at it. It was just as he had seen in pictures, a 500-Euro banknote.

"This means…" he said slowly, trailing off.

"We don't just have the treatment, we have a way to pay for it! And after my condition is cured, we'll have enough money to properly raise a family. Toushiro… I don't know how to express how happy I am right now!" Momo said, tears again flowing down her cheeks as she smiled.

"I do," Toushiro said. With that, he kissed her. He put his hands on the side of her head, stroking her hair as their lips lovingly met. When they separated, Momo looked deeply into Toushiro's eyes.

"Could you stay over here tonight? I… I really want to be with you…" she said.

"I suppose I could stay here for a while," Toushiro said.

"Thanks Toushiro. Are you fine sleeping in my bed?" Momo said.

"Sure," Toushiro replied.

Momo smiled and took Toushiro's hand, leading him inside the house. She didn't care about doing anything else that evening, she just wanted to be in Toushiro's loving embrace. When they arrived in her room, she quickly began pulling her clothes off. Once she was undressed, she quickly got under the blankets, waiting for Toushiro.

"Momo…" Toushiro said slowly.

"Don't worry Toushiro, I'm not planning on doing anything tonight, I'm just comfortable this way," Momo explained.

After a moment of thought, Toushiro nodded and stripped down to his boxers before getting into bed with her. Momo quickly cuddled up against him.

"I love you Toushiro," she said, giving him a kiss.

"I love you too, Momo," Toushiro replied, putting his arm around her and pulling her close. Momo smiled.

"I feel so safe and secure when I'm with you," she said, "I know that you'll take care of me and the baby. Thanks to you, I'm more hopeful than I've ever been before. I can barely even imagine going back to the way I was just last year."

"You've grown since then, Momo," Toushiro said, "I can tell that you're a much stronger woman now than then." Momo giggled a little bit at Toushiro's reference to her as a woman, not a girl.

"It's amazing, isn't it Toushiro?" Momo said, "I have a little person growing inside of me. In a few months, I'm going to give birth, and we'll be parents!"

"Yeah, that's normally how pregnancy works," Toushiro said wryly.

"Oh Toushiro, don't be like that!" Momo scolded, "Surely you must feel excited about this too?" Toushiro's immediate response was to put his hand on Momo's bare tummy, causing her to blush.

"Of course I do," he said, "I love you Momo, and the idea of you giving birth to our child is an exciting thought. I'm very worried of course, but the prospect of us living together as a family is a wonderful one. I know you'll be a wonderful mother, and hopefully I'll be a satisfactory father."

"Oh Toushiro," Momo giggled as Toushiro began rubbing her tummy, "You'll definitely be a wonderful father." She put her hand over Toushiro's so that their hands were both positioned over where the baby grew inside of her.

"I love you, Momo," Toushiro said.

"And I love you, Toushiro," Momo said, closing her eyes and resting her head against Toushiro. Soon, they were both fast asleep.

---

"I see… so you're Miss Hinamori then?" a man in a doctor's coat said, eyeing Momo and Toushiro from across his desk.

"Yes Dr. Bernard," Momo said, "Thank you for seeing me."

"My old colleague, Professor Morgan, spoke to you about the basics of the situation and procedure, correct?" Dr. Bernard asked.

"He explained it briefly, but if you could provide a more detailed description…" Toushiro said slowly.

"Of course," the doctor said, "Basically, Momo's heart is about 30% smaller than normal for a girl her age, and the right atrium – that is, the part of the heart that pumps oxygenated blood through the body – is particularly underdeveloped. The hearts muscles are weak and are prone to irregular heartbeat, or even slowing to a near stop at times. A defect in the interventricular septum reduces the efficiency of the already weak heart and several narrow arteries and valves make it even more difficult for the heart to pump blood. It's… a very grave condition."

"We know that, but what about the treatment?" Toushiro said insistently, "That Morgan guy said that you and him developed ways to treat this sort of thing."

"Indeed, we have crafted several experimental treatments for such individuals. They are revolutionary; most doctors wouldn't even be familiar with them, let alone be able to perform them. However, I am confident in my methodology, and there are three distinct procedures that could potentially help you," Bernard said.

"Well what are they?" Toushiro asked anxiously.

"First, let me ask you something," Bernard said, "I know that Momo here is pregnant. Do you plan to have the procedure done before she gives birth?"

"Yes," Momo and Toushiro said together.

"I see," Bernard said, "In that case, you should know that the procedure must be done as soon as possible. The further your pregnancy progresses, the more dangerous the procedure will become. I believe that I will be able to perform it so that both you and the fetus will emerge unharmed, but it will certainly be more risky than if it were done while you weren't pregnant. Ordinarily, I'd have to refuse to perform it on you until after the baby has been delivered, but give the circumstances, that's not really an option."

"How soon?" Momo asked.

"As soon as possible. Within a month, ideally. Every day that goes by, the danger to you and the fetus will increase," Bernard explained, "Now, it's possible that you'll need blood transfusions during the surgery, so we'll need a donor of the same blood-type as-"

"I'll do it," Toushiro said immediately, "Both Momo and I have type O-negative blood. I know it's one of the rarest types, and is the only type compatible with other O-negative individuals."

"That's very noble of you, but we already stockpile plenty of blood of all types," Bernard said, "Unfortunately, we don't have a matching donor whose heart we would be able to use."

"A heart transplant? I've already talked to doctors about that, they said that it wouldn't work with me," Momo said.

"That would be true under normal circumstances. It's not just your heart that needs replacing, it's several major arteries, veins, and valves. That's beyond the imagination of most doctors, and they wouldn't dare even try a heart transplant on someone like you. If they did, they would end up causing more harm than good. However, with my methodology, I believe I have a way to successfully transplant another heart with yours. By using a young heart and transplanting not only the heart itself, but the entire system of arteries around it, the process would be much more effective. Over time, the young heart would 'grow into' Momo's body in a way that a normal heart transplant wouldn't."

"But you said that you didn't have a donor," Momo said.

"Yes, unfortunately there are very few heart donors of the proper age and size that we are looking for. Younger people who die in accidents aren't as likely to have organs their organs donated. The only type of person whose heart would be able to work on you is someone who has a healthy heart around the same size as your defective heart. Eventually, that smaller heart would grow into a heart suitable for your body size, but if we tried implanting a heart from someone just a little older or bigger than you, your body wouldn't be able to handle it well," Bernard said with a sigh, "We did locate one donor who had a heart of the proper size and age, but she's brain-dead and on life support with another person expected to receive the heart, and unless something comes up, it's unlikely that we'll receive it."

"So there's nothing to do except wait and hope for dumb luck then?" Toushiro asked with a hint of anger.

"No, of course not! Didn't I say that I had three procedures that would work?" Bernard said, "Professor Morgan favored the transplant procedure, but I'm personally somewhat glad that it won't work out. That procedure is hideously difficult to perform, and requires that you be under anesthesia for a very long time. A somewhat simpler procedure involves injections to widen the arteries and increase the strength of the heart. The injections to the arteries will work by expanding them to allow more blood flow, and the injections to the heart will strengthen the muscles in several key areas. Think of them as a type of steroids for your heart as a crude metaphor. Eventually, the hope is that the heart will grow stronger and gain more resemblance to a normal heart. This would have a lower estimated success rate, but it would also be the safest procedure to perform."

"What about the other procedure?" Toushiro asked.

"Well, that one is a bit of a middle ground," Bernard said, "We would use surgery to artificially expand the arteries around the heart, and insert grafted muscle tissue into the heart to help it run stronger. It wouldn't be the same as a heart transplant, but we would have a bit more freedom with donor tissue, as we wouldn't need an entire heart, and it wouldn't need to be as immediate. We could also use synthetic materials to strengthen the heart's structure. This is the procedure that I would personally recommend. It has a lower chance of curing your condition in the long-term, but in the short-term it will be the most effective, and we can always try further procedures in the future."

Momo and Toushiro were silent for a minute, thinking over what had been said.

"What would we need to do to go through with one of these procedures?" Toushiro finally said.

"Well, there is a great deal of paperwork of course, and you'll need work out the payments, but hopefully that shouldn't take too long, at least not so long as to delay the procedure," Bernard said, "We'll need to schedule the time to go through with it too. I'll be the main person working on her, but I'll need to make sure several of my staff and colleagues will be present as well. Oh, and I'd like you to find a family member who will be able to make medical decisions for you while you're unable to do so yourself. According to the information, your mother is-"

"No!" Momo practically yelled, "No, I want nothing to do with her! She abandoned me because of my condition! I don't even want to look at a picture of her! I have no mother as far as I'm concerned!"

"Okay then, how about your aunt? According to your records you lived with her for some time," Bernard suggested.

"No, she has enough problems," Momo said, "She lost her husband, and she has to work multiple jobs to take care of her kids. She's already given me more than enough; I don't want to trouble her further. Besides, she lives too far away."

"You're going to have to choose somebody to fulfill the role…"

"I'll do it," Toushiro said.

"That's very generous of you, but it's usually preferred that such a person be a family member, spouse, or guardian. Since you don't occupy any such role, I can't let you serve as her medical representative at your age," Bernard said.

"Fine, then I'll enter into such a role!" Toushiro said firmly, "Momo, will you marry me?"

Momo stared at him in shock for a moment as his words sunk in.

"M-Marry you?" she asked quietly. Toushiro nodded.

"Yes. If we're married, I can legally make medical decisions for you, not to mention the fact that I'd be able to transfer funds to you that my parents have been blocking. There are plenty of other benefits too, but the most important is that it shows you how much I care about you," Toushiro said. Momo still looked a little dazed.

"Marriage…" she whispered, "We're… so young… and we can't afford a ceremony, can we?"

"We're old enough. I love you Momo, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm old enough to know that. As for a ceremony, as long as we're together, I don't care about an expensive ceremony. A marriage license doesn't require anything fancy to be granted, and I don't need a fancy wedding to confirm the fact that I love you. What do you say Momo?" Toushiro said, looking into her eyes. Her eyes glistened with tears of joy as she suddenly embraced him.

"Oh Toushiro… Yes! Yes I will marry you! I want to be with you for the rest of my life! I love you, Toushiro!" she said, giving him a loving kiss.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Thank you to nexuswarrior, Silent Star of Silent Night, AznVKai, KnowledgeandImagination, MercuryGoddess, Saara Cullen, DW64, Merciless Ruby, lovelyxpeach, MoonLightView, moonlight gabriel, ScienceAngel, Sonozaki-sama, divprince, AznInvasionGirl, and orangepumpkins for reviewing! Please review!


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Thank you to nexuswarrior, AizenVKai, AznInvasionGirl, candyfloss112, divprince, ScienceAngel, Sonozaki-sama, DW64, KnowledgeandImagination, imaginator317, Merciless Ruby, orangepumpkins, lovelyxpeach, QtPi1080, darklover, dee, fanpire101bella, feeeesh, Saara Cullen, and Ziya Hitsugaya for reviewing last chapter! Remember to review after finishing this chapter! Thank you!

* * *

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 22_

"You're getting married! You're getting married! You're getting married!" Rangiku sang cheerfully.

"We're already married! Now could you stop singing?" Toushiro said irritably.

"Don't be grumpy Toushiro, you should be happy at your wedding!" Rangiku replied with a smile, "You may have a piece of paper saying 'marriage license' but in my book you're not married until you've had a real wedding with cake and celebrations!"

They were in Toushiro's house, where Rangiku had gone to great lengths to set up a wedding ceremony for them. It was more of an informal wedding, as their official marriage had already taken place without ceremony, but Rangiku had nevertheless completely put her heart into it. Unfortunately, she had never been to an actual wedding, and thus the house was decorated in a fashion more fitting for a birthday party than a wedding. Despite this, it was a happy occasion, with most of their friends there to celebrate with them.

"You're getting married! You're getting married!" Rangiku continued to sing, tossing balloons and ribbons around.

"Rangiku…" Toushiro said slowly, looking as if he were about to snap from irritation. Momo put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't be that way Toushiro, she went to all the trouble of preparing this for us!" Momo said, "We should be grateful."

"I would be if she stopped singing," Toushiro muttered, "She didn't even tell us that she was doing this!"

"Well I thought it was a nice surprise," Momo said, crossing her arms. Toushiro sighed and offered a mild smile.

"You're right. Thank you for the party Rangiku," he said.

"What?" Rangiku asked, having just stuffed her mouth with cake, "Did you say something?"

"Never mind…"

"So, after you get the surgery and have delivered the baby, what do you plan to do?" Miyone asked from the couch, absent-mindedly fiddling with a balloon.

"We don't really know," Momo admitted, "I suppose that since I'll hopefully survive now, it might be a good idea to go to college. Of course, I'll also want to set some time aside for painting, as that Giorgos guy will probably want to buy more art eventually. It could be a good way to generate income, since Toushiro's parents are refusing to send him money anymore."

"How could your parents do that?" Rukia asked.

"They don't care for the idea of me marrying Momo. They don't consider her to be worthy of me," Toushiro said in disgust, "At least they let me keep the house, though I'll probably have to do some extra work to provide for Momo and the baby."

"At least Giorgos will still be willing to pay for paintings," Momo said hopefully, "He might even recommend me to other art collectors."

"I don't want to get too dependent on that Giorgos guy," Toushiro said, "He seems kind of suspicious to me."

"I checked him out," Miyone said, "You don't have to worry about him. He's not a scammer or anything, he's just stupid."

"Well, I suppose that's a good thing," Toushiro said.

"Yeah, I bet- ugh…" Momo groaned, clutching her stomach, "I've… gotta go."

Momo ran off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Everyone went silent as they heard retching sounds coming from behind the door. Toushiro sighed.

"Rangiku…"

"I'll go make sure she's okay," Rangiku said, hurrying off to help Momo.

"What's wrong with her?" Orihime asked in confusion, looking up from the cranberry-covered ice cream she had been eating.

"Morning sickness," Toushiro explained, "Well, I suppose since she gets it throughout the day it's not really 'morning' sickness, but the principle is the same. The hormones from being pregnant make her sick sometimes."

"Shouldn't you be going to help her?" Miyone asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I would, but she get's embarrassed when I'm around to see her sick like that. She prefers Rangiku instead for this sort of thing," Toushiro said.

"Well I suppose if it's what she prefers…" Miyone said.

They were silent for a moment. The silence was broken only by the sound of Momo throwing up in the bathroom and Rangiku's words of encouragement. The rest of the guests went back to what they were doing, though little was said. After a long while, Toushiro spoke.

"Miyone, do you think Momo will live?" he asked. Miyone looked at him in shock.

"Why are you asking me?" she asked.

"Because you're the only one I really trust with the truth," Toushiro sighed, "The truth is… I'm scared. I'm scared to lose Momo. I have nightmares about what might happen. What if the surgery doesn't work? What if she dies while they're operating? I don't want her to die. I tell her that I'm certain she'll live, that I have complete confidence, but in reality I can't stop worrying."

"Toushiro... I don't know what to say," Miyone whispered, "I can only wish the best for you. I can't tell you anything that will make you feel better or do anything to alleviate your worries. I can only tell you that Momo needs your support if she is to get through this. She's come a long ways. I don't believe it will end after you've both come so far."

"I should probably put my faith in the doctors," Toushiro said, "But the surgery is just a week from now. We act normal around each other, but surely she also must be aware of what's going on. In just a week, the event that may save her life or end it will occur. I… I don't know if I can take the stress."

"You'll have to," Miyone said, "Just put your faith in her to survive. If you both truly want it, I don't believe she will die. Now if you're done talking, I think you'd better go over to her."

Toushiro looked over to see that Momo had emerged from the bathroom leaning against Rangiku and wiping her mouth with a towel. After glancing at Miyone one more time, he went over to her, patting her on the back and whispering words of encouragement to her, earning a smile in return.

---

Momo rested her head against Toushiro's bare chest. It rose and fell as he breathed peacefully in her sleep. Her hand covered her lower tummy, where the baby inside of her grew. She took a deep breath. She would survive. She would get the surgery and she would recover. She would live to see her belly grow large before she gave birth. She would live to hold her baby for the first time. She would live to raise the baby with Toushiro. She would live. She had to.

She did not allow the doubt and fear in the back of her mind to take hold. Things were more hopeful now than ever before; why pay attention to such anxieties? A treatment had been found that would hopefully cure her of her condition. She and Toushiro had been officially married, and she even moved in with him. Between the money Toushiro's parents had allowed him (a surprisingly large amount, given their disapproval of his and Momo's relationship) and the money Momo had made from selling her paintings, they were financially secure. They had a bright future together.

Yet the fear at the back of her mind did not go away. What if the surgery went wrong? What if she died on the operating table? What if it didn't work and she died later of complications? What if she lost the baby during the operation? Her mind subconsciously thought of dozens of tragic scenarios that haunted Momo. She tried to ignore them. After all, she had gone from having no hope at all to having enough hope that she was actually able to plan for her future. But this hope only made the fear more intense. In the past, she had more or less accepted her death as inevitable, but now that she had so much to live for the idea of dying was much more terrible.

She shook her head, trying to get the thoughts out of her mind. In doing so however, she bumped against Toushiro, who woke moments later.

"Momo? Are you okay?" he asked groggily.

"Y-Yes! I just… shifted in my sleep a bit!" Momo said hastily.

"Well get back to sleep soon. We have a big day tomorrow, and you'll need your energy," Toushiro replied, closing his eyes and going back to sleep. Momo sighed and relaxed her body against him. She would not give up hope. She would not give up this wonderful life that she had come to know.

---

"Okay, now take a deep breath," the nurse said, pressing a stethoscope to Momo's chest. Momo did as instructed, taking a long, slow breath as the nurse moved the device over her chest. This was the third time that day that they had done this. Doctor Bernard had insisted on several days of observation before performing the surgery, which also allowed him time to make preparations. It was necessary, but rather annoying.

The local hospital that Momo usually went to did not have the necessary facilities to perform the operation. Thus, the surgery would be performed at a special clinic about an hour's drive north of where they lived, which was where Momo was now. The room they put her in was not particularly large, but it did have a window that she was able to look out of (though unfortunately it was raining at the moment). The bed was moderately comfortable, but the room was still rather gloomy. What was most upsetting however was the fact that Toushiro could not be there by her side.

Despite his best efforts, Toushiro had been unable to find a hotel to stay at in the area, and was forced to go back to the house during the night. He had only just left a short while ago at Momo's insistence, as it was nearly night and she didn't want him driving in the dark in the rainy conditions. Fortunately, Rangiku had a cousin in the area whose house she was allowed to stay at, so she was there to keep Momo company, at least until visiting hours were over.

"Now put your arm out so I can take your pulse," the nurse instructed. Momo put out her arm for the nurse to check. When she was done, she left the room, telling her that she'd be back in twenty minutes to check on her.

"Finally! I thought she'd never go!" Rangiku said as soon as the nurse was out of sight, "I always feel so weird around nurses when they're doing things like that. It just makes me want to shiver!"

"It wasn't that bad," Momo said.

"I guess not, but I'd still rather not have to watch that sort of thing," Rangiku said.

"You don't have to be here. You can go over to your cousin's place if you want to," Momo said. Rangiku laughed and patted Momo on the back.

"It's okay, I've already decided that I'll stay here with you for as long as I can. Since Toushiro can't be with you now, I'll be here in his place."

"Thanks Rangiku, I- Oh!" Momo gasped, clutching her chest. Rangiku stood up in alarm.

"Momo? Momo! Are you okay?" she asked in panic.

"I… I'm okay, I-" Momo winced before she could finish, breathing heavily and grabbing her chest in pain. Rangiku immediately hit the button at the side of Momo's bed, alerting the hospital staff to send help up to the room.

"Momo, listen to me. Stay calm, help is coming for you," Rangiku said, taking hold of Momo's hand as she gasped for air, "I'll call Toushiro and tell him to get here as soon as he can."

"N-No Rangiku, it's okay, I-I'm fi… fi… oh…" Momo went limp, her eyes rolling back into her head.

"Momo! Hold on, it's going to be okay!" Rangiku said quickly, trying in vain to reassure the girl.

As hospital workers came into the room however, Momo knew that it was not okay. This wasn't just her imagination, her chest really hurt, and she found herself barely able to breathe. The fears that she had pushed to the back of her mind flooded into her head, and she was overcome with a sense of dread and panic. She felt lightheaded, and was only vaguely aware of being moved to another bed and taken out of the room. She couldn't see the doctors' faces or understand their urgent words, she could only lie there, alone and afraid.

_Toushiro… please hurry back._

---

Toushiro drove as fast as he could through the heavy rain. He had nearly arrived at home when Rangiku called. The moment she told him what happened, he immediately turned around, speeding back towards the hospital. Despite the heavy rain and darkness, he drove as fast as the car would go. Only one thing was on his mind: Momo.

He had to get to Momo. He couldn't let her be alone right now. He had to be there for her. She couldn't die now, not when they were so close to saving her once and for all. She wasn't going to die now. She couldn't, he wouldn't let her.

Toushiro gripped the steering wheel tightly, his eyes wide and near-manic in the darkness as adrenaline surged through his body. Every second felt like days, and the car simply could not go fast enough. He shook with anxiety and tension as he drove. The wipers on the car's windshield worked furiously to wipe away the rain that was constantly obscuring his vision. The headlights could barely penetrate the rainy darkness. The engine seemed to groan in reaction to the high speed at which he was going, but he paid it no mind. All that mattered was Momo.

As he drove however, something caught his eyes. Out of the side of his vision, he saw another pair of headlights approaching from another road that crossed the one he was on. It was on a collision-course with Toushiro's car. Almost in slow motion, Toushiro realized it was too late to stop. In his zeal to get to Momo, he had missed the coming truck in the rain and darkness. Reacting quickly, Toushiro attempted to gun the engine, hoping to get across the intersection before the coming truck. The action came too late, however.

It happened in an instant. The two vehicles collided. The larger, sturdier truck skidded to a stop after skidding on the road for a short distance, receiving only damage to the front. Toushiro's smaller car on the other hand, having been travelling at a much faster speed, was completely devastated. The collision nearly destroyed the front-right side of the car, and the momentum from the high speed caused the vehicle to spin out of control, flipping over and running off the road, moments later crashing into a tree in a mess of twisted metal and broken glass.

Toushiro breathed heavily as he sat slumped over in the wreckage. Broken glass cut him all over his body. His right leg felt as if it had been snapped in two. A stray piece of metal had left a deep gash across his stomach. His perception was blurry. Everything felt surreal. He tried to move, attempting to free himself from the wreckage, but his body wouldn't budge. As he strained to move, he suddenly felt a sharp sensation in his gut, and moments later vomited blood all over himself. He slumped forward, his vision fading.

"Momo…" was all he could say before everything went black.


	23. Chapter 23

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 23_

"No… no, this can't be…" Momo whispered in horror, "It… it can't be true! It can't be true! Toushiro can't… he can't…"

"He's at another hospital right now," Rangiku said, gripping her hand tightly, "The doctor's are doing everything they can for him."

"I… I need to go!" Momo said, getting out of her bed, "I need to go see him!"

Momo wobbled and nearly fell over from fatigue, but Rangiku caught her and helped her back into bed.

"You're in no condition to go anywhere. The doctors said that you had to take it easy and keep your heart rate down," Rangiku said, "It's important that you stay calm."

"How can I stay calm when Toushiro is injured?!" Momo said, tears in her eyes, "Toushiro is hurt, how can you expect me not to go to him? Don't you understand?"

"Of course I understand! Toushiro is my friend too! But working yourself up over this and travelling all the way to the other hospital will just put you in danger. Toushiro wouldn't want that," Rangiku tried to reason with her, "He wants you to live; he wouldn't want you putting yourself at risk just to visit him."

"But… but it's all because of him that I'm even here," Momo cried, "If something happens to him… if I lose him… I don't know what I'd do!"

"You have to keep hoping, Momo," Rangiku said, "Toushiro never gave up hope that you would live. Won't you do the same?"

"I don't know," Momo sniffled, wiping her eyes, "I just… Oh Toushiro, no, no, no…" Momo burst into sobs, causing Rangiku to put an arm around her in an attempt to calm her.

"It's okay Momo," she whispered, "It's going to be okay."

In truth, she didn't know if it would be okay. Only a short time after Momo began feeling faint and having chest pains, she had received news that Toushiro had been in a car accident. His injuries were severe, and the outlook for him was very grim. Rangiku had called Miyone to inform her and ask her to visit the ER, but she and Momo were unable to go to him. It was only her duty to take care of and comfort Momo that prevented her from crying herself. If Toushiro died, a very real possibility, Rangiku didn't know what would happen. Would Momo still have the will to live? Would she be able to go through with the operation? How would she and the baby make it without Toushiro?

Rangiku hoped beyond hope that Toushiro would make it. He had a strong will to live, and a stronger will to protect Momo, something he couldn't do while dead. She had to maintain faith in him and the doctors who would be treating him.

---

Miyone tried in vain to keep tears out of her eyes. She sat in the hospital lobby, gripping the arms of the chair tightly as she fought back sobs. As soon as Rangiku had called her to tell her the bad news, she had rushed to the hospital. She was unable to see Toushiro, however, as the emergency room doctors were too busy trying to save him to allow visitors.

Miyone feared for Toushiro. He was horribly injured, and from what she had heard, might not make it. She tried to push away such thoughts, but they kept creeping back into her mind. The thought of losing him was unbearable. Memories of the time she had known him flashed through her mind.

She remembered every moment that they spent together, from when they met to the school work they did to their growing friendship to when she fell in love with him to when she realized that he did not love her in return. It was a strange relationship, filled with difficulties and misunderstandings, but she was still glad to have met Toushiro. He was her best friend, and despite the one-sidedness of the feelings, she still loved him. She now knew of course that there was no way that they could ever be together, but she could not help it. She loved Toushiro, and wanted what was best for him, even if that meant him being with another woman. She was not bitter towards Toushiro or Momo. Sad, yes, for she really did want to be with Toushiro, but she was not bitter that he had chosen Momo over her. She should have known that Toushiro did not feel the same way about her before she even contemplated a relationship.

She shook away these thoughts. They would do no good right now. Toushiro's life was in danger, and it was no time for silly reminiscing. She didn't know what to do, only that she had to do something. She felt helpless because she didn't know of anything she even could do, however. What could she possibly do to improve Toushiro's situation? His life was in the doctors hands; how could she impact it?

As she sat there, consumed by her thoughts and anxieties, a nurse walked out of the hall and to Miyone. She put a hand to Miyone's arm, causing her to jump slightly and look up.

"He wants to see you," the nurse said.

"He… he does?" Miyone said, her spirits daring to rise slightly. She stood up, and shakily walked after the nurse as she gestured for her to follow.

"He's being transferred to another hospital with better facilities," the nurse explained, "A helicopter is being used to airlift him out, but he requested to speak to you before he goes."

"Is he going to be okay?" Miyone asked anxiously. The nurse was silent for a moment before answering.

"He's in critical condition. There's a lot of organ damage and bleeding. It's likely his leg will have to be amputated. His survival chances look to be about 60% right now, but I'd be lying if I said the situation looks good for him right now," the nurse said, causing Miyone's heart to drop.

"But… but this other hospital will do better, right? They're more advanced and can treat him better?" she said nervously.

"In my personal opinion, he would do just as well here, but the other hospital called to recommend transferring him for some reason. Now come this way, he's just down the hall."

Miyone was probably walking quite fast, but it felt painfully slow as she followed the nurse down the halls of the emergency department. She felt her heart beating loudly, and her limbs were shaking a bit. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they stopped.

"He's in here," the nurse said, guiding her to a nearby door, "Be sure to make it quick, we want to move him as soon as possible."

Miyone walked into the room, her legs feeling like jelly as she looked at Toushiro, lying in a hospital bed in a critically injured state. He was covered in bandages, with his leg and stomach in particularly bad shape. He was deathly pale, and his eyes only barely flickered in her direction when she walked in.

"Miyone…" he said in a hoarse whisper. Miyone shakily reached to take his hand, assuring him of her presence.

"I'm here, Toushiro," she said, tears in her eyes.

"Listen M-Miyone," he gasped, "I don't know what's going to happen. I… I could come out of this disabled, catatonic, or even-"

"Don't say it!" Miyone interrupted, panic in her voice, "Don't say that Toushiro, you're going to be fine!"

"No Miyone, you have to listen. It's very possible that I… won't make it. If that happens, I want… I want you to take care of Momo for me," Toushiro said. Miyone stared at him in shock.

"What…?" she asked.

"Take care of Momo. If something… if anything happens to me… I want you to take care of Momo…" Toushiro said.

"Oh Toushiro… Toushiro, I… Don't worry about that, I won't need to take care of Momo because you're going to be fine! The doctors will patch you up, and you'll be able to take care of Momo yourself!" Miyone said, the attempt at encouragement negated by the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Promise me, Miyone," Toushiro whispered, "Promise me… you'll look after Momo."

"I… I promise, Toushiro!" Miyone finally said, "I promise you, I swear on my life, I will take care of Momo!"

"Thank you, Miyone. You've been a good friend…" Toushiro said.

Miyone shook as she looked down at Toushiro, when she realized someone was behind her.

"We need to move him now," the nurse said. Miyone nodded as several hospital workers took Toushiro's hospital bed and rolled it out the door. Miyone could only watch as they took Toushiro away, hoping beyond hope that he would be okay.

---

Dr. Bernard sat at his desk, going through files on his computer. An aide walked in and cleared his throat.

"Doctor, we received a call. Toushiro Hitsugaya has been taken onto the helicopter and will be here shortly," he said.

"Good… that's good…" Dr. Bernard said absent-mindedly. The aide cleared his throat again, this time rather nervously.

"If I may ask, Doctor, why did you request that he be transferred here? Our facilities are better, yes, but the improvement of his chances will only be small, and it's rather unusual for you to request specific patient transfers. Normally you don't even work on injury cases like this; you've always specialized in advanced surgery. Why are you doing this?"

"I don't really know," Bernard admitted, "Perhaps I feel an obligation to take part in the attempt to save the boy. Maybe I just feel like trying out something I haven't done in a while. Maybe I think I can do better than those other doctors. Maybe I just want to feel like I have some control over the boy's fate. Or maybe…" he clicked a few buttons on his computer, "I feel the need to let two young lovers see each other one last time." The computer screen now displayed the security camera recording from Momo's room, where she was crying and being comforted by Rangiku.

"If word got out that you were doing something like this for such personal reasons, it would be a blotch on your reputation," the aide warned.

"Perhaps," Bernard sighed, "But on the other hand, I find myself unable to do differently."

* * *

Thanks for reading! Thank you to AznInvasionGirl, KnowledgeandImagination, nexuswarrior, Luna drv, MoonLightView, ScienceAngel, AznVKai, fanpire101bella, orangepumpkins, moonlight gabriel, candyfloss112, Sonozaki-sama, muiravatcO, cool, DW64, dee, The Sweet Peach, Saara Cullen, QtPi180, glove, WhitePrincessOfHope, and XxXWolvesInTheNightXxX for reviewing! Please review!


	24. Chapter 24

Fearing Goodbye

_Chapter 24_

"He's here? Toushiro is here?"

"He was just transferred here from South Byrd Hospital," Dr. Bernard said.

"So… so that means you're going to be able to save him?" Momo asked quickly.

"He's undergoing emergency procedures right now. I was just about to go supervise the operations," Bernard said.

"But will he be alright?" Momo asked urgently.

"We'll do everything we can for him," Bernard answered.

"I didn't ask you that, I asked if Toushiro would be alright!" Momo said, greatly upset.

"Please remain calm; you're still in bad condition yourself. If you allow yourself to become too stressed, you could induce further heart problems," Bernard said.

"How can I remain calm when Toushiro could be dying?!" Momo nearly yelled.

"Momo, calm down," Rangiku said, taking her hand in an attempt to comfort her. Momo swatted it away.

"No, I won't calm down! Not until Toushiro is okay!" Momo said tearfully, "At least let me see him!"

"You're being irrational. I can't let you see Toushiro until you are calmed down," Bernard said.

"But I need to be by his side! I can't leave him alone!" Momo nearly shouted.

"He's not alone, he is being worked on by some of our best doctors," Bernard said, "Be concerned about yourself for now. If you stay all excited like this, it will put too much stress on your heart. It's absolutely vital that you calm yourself down. I have to go now, but I'll send someone in to see you in a minute."

"Wait!" Momo said, trying to get out of bed only for Rangiku to stop her.

"Let him go, he's going to do everything he can for Toushiro," Rangiku said, masking her own anxiety with a soothing voice.

"But… but what if something happens? What if I never see Toushiro again?" Momo asked, tears falling from her eyes.

"Don't think about that. Just think happy thoughts, and don't give up hope," Rangiku said.

"I… I don't know if I can do that…" Momo said, "I've gotten so much stronger than I was before, but now I feel like I'm weak and helpless without Toushiro. It's because of him that I was able to lift myself out of depression and manage to enjoy life. He is responsible for my being the way I am today. Without him, how can I go on?"

"He helped you, but it was still you who got stronger. You're not completely reliant on him for existing. Toushiro wouldn't want you being completely dependent upon him, he wants you to be strong on your own, which you are!" Rangiku said. Momo looked down sadly, attempting to hide her fear and anxiety.

Just then, a nurse walked into the room, wheeling in a yellow tank attached to a hose and mask.

"Dr. Bernard asked me to provide Miss Hinamori with an anesthetic to calm her down," the nurse said.

"I… I'd' rather not," Momo said, "I want to be awake in case Dr. Bernard comes back with news about Toushiro."

"Your heart is under a lot of stress. This could help calm you down so as to reduce that stress," the nurse said.

"I… I don't…"

"Momo, I think it would be best to follow his advice," Rangiku said. Momo hesitated a moment before nodding. The nurse wheeled the tank over to her and placed the mask over her mouth and nose. The nurse turned a knob, turning the gas on.

The first thing Momo noticed was a strange, sweet smell. Then she began feeling fuzzy. The world blurred around her, and her limbs felt strangely heavy, only to then began to feel as if they weren't there at all. She blinked, trying to keep herself awake, but things were quickly going dark for her. She vaguely felt a hand on her arm and Rangiku's voice saying "It'll be okay. Think happy thoughts," before completely blacking out.

---

_Momo mumbled in her sleep, shifting a little bit as she rubbed her eyes. She felt tired, and wasn't in the mood to get up right now. Wait, where was she? The last thing she knew, she was at the hospital. What was she there for again? She couldn't remember. Maybe it was just a dream. Oh well, might as well go back to sleep…_

_As she was about to attempt to go back to sleep however, she felt a strange feeling in her belly, an odd movement. She opened her eyes slightly, only for them to shoot open immediately after. She let out a cry of surprise._

"_Momo? What is it?"_

_Toushiro sat up in bed next to her, but Momo did not pay attention to him. Her eyes were focused on her abdomen, which was now very large and round. She felt the strange feeling again, and realized that it was the baby inside of her moving. A small smile crossed her face, remembering that she was pregnant._

"_Are you okay Momo?" Toushiro asked, gently nudging her shoulder. Momo looked up, still smiling._

"_I'm fine Toushiro, the baby's just moving, "she said. Toushiro smiled and place a hand on her round belly, causing her to giggle a little bit._

"_You're right, it is moving," he said, "It probably wants out." Momo laughed at the joke, placing her hands on her tummy as the baby shifted and kicked inside of her. It was a strange, magical feeling._

"_What do you want to name it?" Momo asked._

"_I have no idea," Toushiro admitted._

"_I was thinking that if it was a girl, we could name it after Miyone or Rangiku since they've been so supportive of us," Momo said, "If it's a boy… I don't know, maybe give him a name like Richi or Odimaru?"_

"_I don't know about that. Those names aren't the type I'd want to give a boy, and if we named the baby after Rangiku it would probably go to her head," Toushiro said._

"_Maybe we should have thought about this earlier," Momo giggled, cuddling against Toushiro._

"_Yeah, you're probably right," Toushiro said, laying back down._

_They stayed close to each other, snuggled up lovingly. Momo then looked down at her stomach, frowning slightly._

"_Toushiro, do I look fat?" Momo asked._

"_You're pregnant, of course you do," Toushiro said lazily. Momo immediately sat up and smacked Toushiro on the side._

"_Toushiro, why did you say that?!" she asked indignantly._

"_You asked me!" Toushiro said, confused at her reaction._

"_You didn't have to say I was fat though!"_

"_You're pregnant, I thought it would be obvious! If you didn't put on weight for a pregnancy it would be a problem! You asked me a question and I answered, so don't be mad at me!" Toushiro retorted._

"_But you were supposed to tell me that I'm not fat!" Momo said, pounding her fists on the bed._

"_I didn't say it was a bad thing! You'll go back to your normal weight in no time!"_

"_Don't try to take it back now; I know that you think I'm fat and hideous!" Momo said dramatically, "I'm just going to go spend the rest of my morning sleeping on the couch!"_

_Momo slowly began to get off the bed, only to wobble under the weight of her big belly. She felt tired and sluggish, and her back hurt a bit. The couch seemed way further away than it had moments before. Grumbling to herself, she got back in bed._

"_Okay, I'll stay here, but that doesn't mean you're off the hook!" she said, wagging a finger at Toushiro. Toushiro rolled his eyes and gave her a kiss on the cheek before both of them fell back to sleep._

---

Momo's eyes cracked open. She saw several figures above her, moving quickly. They seemed to be around her, but why? She felt a little bit of pain in her chest, but other than that she felt stiff and numb. She wondered where Rangiku had gone; wasn't she standing by Momo's bedside? What was going on? Before she could even think of possible answers, she felt herself go woozy, and once again blacked out.

---

"_R-Rangiku, stop it!" Momo laughed as Rangiku tickled her._

"_Laughter is good for the baby! I read it in a magazine!" Rangiku said, grinning as she playfully tickled Momo._

"_I-I don't think f-forced laughter counts!" Momo said between laughs, "How- How about this, I'll promise to laugh more often if you stop tickling me."_

"_Aw, that's no fun!"Rangiku pouted._

"_Rangiku, cut it out," Toushiro said, "Didn't I tell you to clean the basement?"_

"_But there are a lot of small spaces to squeeze into in order to clean, and my boobs get in the way!" Rangiku whined._

"_I don't care; you're getting paid to work, not harass Momo! Now get to work or I'm not paying you this week!" Toushiro said._

_Rangiku frowned and reluctantly stood up, dragging her feet as she walked towards the basement stairs. Toushiro sighed._

"_I don't know why I keep employing her at all," he muttered._

"_She only wants to help," Momo said._

"_She can help by starting to do actual work instead of loafing around all day," Toushiro grumbled._

"_You need to lighten up. I don't want the baby to grow up in a house where its daddy is always grumpy. You'll set a bad example," Momo said. Toushiro smiled at this._

"_Don't worry, I won't be in a bad mood as long as you're there for me," he said, giving her a small kiss._

"_I love you Toushiro," Momo said, gazing lovingly into Toushiro's eyes._

"_I feel the same way about you," Toushiro replied._

"_You saved my life, you know," Momo said, "If it weren't for you, I might not be here today, and if I were, it would be a very pathetic existence. I owe so much to you."_

"_What else could I have done? I love you, Momo. I wasn't going to resign myself to losing you," Toushiro said, "Thanks are unnecessary, your being here with me is reward enough."_

"_Well I'm going to thank you anyways," Momo said, leaning forward to give Toushiro a kiss. As she did so however, she lost her balance and stumbled forward. Toushiro was nearly knocked over, but somehow managed to catch her before they both fell._

_Momo looked up at Toushiro with embarrassment, but then began to laugh. Toushiro could not help but laugh as well, helping her to her feet and giving her the kiss she had wanted._

---

Momo couldn't breathe, but she felt air going in and out of her lungs. She didn't understand what was happening. She couldn't see a thing; it was all dark for her. What was going on? She felt as if she were suspended in mid-air, simultaneously weightless as if floating and unable to move as if encased in concrete.

What was happening? Was she dying? Had she lost the battle she had fought so hard to win? She didn't want this to happen. She wanted to live with Toushiro and raise their baby together. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't even do that. She could do nothing but lay helplessly still.

---

"_Open another one! Open another one, Momo!" Rangiku said excitedly._

"_She doesn't have to open them all at once," Rukia said._

"_I know, but it's just so much fun to watch!"Rangiku replied._

"_We should spread them out so that the celebration lasts longer," Tatsuki said._

"_I like watching people open presents," Mahana said._

"_But if she opens them all right now, there won't be any left later," Michiru said._

"_It is a lot of fun to see what everyone got her. I think it's worth being a bit short if it's more enjoyable," Orihime said._

"_Hey, it's Momo's baby shower you know. Why don't we let her choose what she wants to do?" Miyone interjected. Everyone turned to Momo, who was sitting awkwardly in front of a large pile of presents that were on the table where the group was seated._

"_I… I don't really care whether we open the rest now or later," Momo said._

"_Okay, we'll open them now then!" Rangiku said, pushing another present towards Momo, who couldn't help but laugh as she took the present from her friend._

_They opened presents for some time. Soon all sorts of useful baby items were on the table in front of her. Bottles, baby toys, diapers, blankets, and even a crib were scattered around along with the wrapping paper._

"_Okay, now it's time for snacks!" Orihime said brightly, "I prepared it myself!"_

"_Oh dear god…" was Rukia's immediate action. Everyone who had previously eaten Orihime's cooking went pale._

"_Don't worry! Don't worry!" Orihime said, "I made sure to get something that everyone would like: cheese fondue! It's in the kitchen right now! You all thought I was going to the bathroom when I excused myself fifteen minutes ago, but I was preparing fondue!"_

"_Oh, I guess that's okay…" Rukia said as Orihime went to retrieve the fondue pot._

"_Now just for the food we'll be dipping!" Orihime said as she put the pot at the center of the table, "I've brought some real treats to dip: celery, pickles, cherries, Slim Jims, prunes, and oatmeal! I'll be right back!" Orihime ran back to the kitchen, leaving the others staring after her in silence._

"_How do you dip oatmeal in fondue?" was all Rukia managed to say before Orihime came back._

"_Okay everybody, dig in!" Orihime said happily taking a cherry and dipping it into the fondue sauce._

_Everyone watched in horror as Orihime ate non-stop. The ordinary foods she had brought soon became disgusting abominations when dipped in a sauce clearly not intended for them. Rangiku soon joined in, coating Slim Jims in cheese before gobbling it up._

"_How on earth do you eat that?" Tatsuki asked._

"_Easy, you just dip it and put it in your mouth!" Orihime said, mid-way through dipping a prune in the cheese sauce._

_As the other watched Orihime and Rangiku eat with a mix of shock and horror, Momo was staring indecisively at the pot. It was several minutes before she spoke._

"_Um, do you think I could have one of those pickles?" Momo said._

"_Sure, help yourself!" Orihime said. Momo took a pickle and dipped it in the cheese. She took a bite, the others wincing at the crunch. She chewed thoughtfully for a moment before smiling._

"_Hey, this is great!" she said, dipping the other end in. The others watched as she finished the pickle and reached for another one._

"_What on earth has possessed her to eat that stuff?" Rukia whispered to Miyone._

"_Well, you know what they say. Women get weird cravings sometimes when they're pregnant…" Miyone responded, watching as Momo dipped her third pickle in._

_---_

Momo felt numb. She couldn't feel anything but a vague tingling all over her body. She still couldn't move or open her eyes, but she could hear voices. She couldn't understand what they were saying; she only heard them as strange whispers that echoed around her. What was going on? Where was she? What was happening to her?

---

_Momo panted as she lay in a hospital bed. Toushiro was by her side, holding her hand and speaking words of encouragement as she gave birth to their child._

"_You're doing great Momo, just keep taking deep breaths," Toushiro said, wiping at her forehead with a damp cloth._

"_I'm going to need you to give a big push now," The doctor delivering the baby said. Momo closed her eyes tightly and squeezed Toushiro's hand as she did so._

"_You're almost there, just keep it up," the doctor said._

_Momo took deep breaths, focusing all her energy on giving birth to her and Toushiro's baby. Her hand shook as she squeezed Toushiro's hand, and she let out a small cry of pain before collapsing back, panting in exhaustion._

"_You did it Momo," Toushiro said to her as she lay back in an exhausted haze. The meaning of his words was only just dawning on her when the doctor placed a beautiful baby girl in her arms. She stared at it in amazement, tears coming to her eyes. This was her and Toushiro's child, a symbol of their love and commitment to each other. Toushiro put a hand on her shoulder and smiled at her. Momo could only smile back._

"_She's so beautiful," Momo said, cradling their baby in her arm._

"_Yes, she is," Toushiro agreed, "I love you Momo."_

"_I love you too, Toushiro," Momo whispered. They kissed lovingly before going back to gazing at their newborn baby._

---

Momo opened her eyes, finding herself in a brightly lit room. There was a mask over her face, and she was in a sort of gown. Where was she? Was she still in the hospital? Had she been dreaming all this time?

Just then, she caught sight of a young nurse walking by. She was able to whisper a few incoherent words, which caught her attention.

"Are you awake?" she asked gently.

Momo's perception was a bit vague, but she managed to say "Yes" to the nurse.

"I'll get the doctor. Someone will be in to see you soon," she said, leaving the room.

Momo watched after her, waiting for somebody to return so that they could explain what was going on. As her thoughts became less foggy, she began to feel a sense of worry returning to her. Where was Toushiro? Was he okay? Was he still injured? Was he… dead? No, he couldn't be dead! He had to be alive! She and Toushiro both had to survive to live their lives and raise their baby.

Several hospital workers soon came in to do some simple tests. She weakly asked them about Toushiro, but they all told her to remain quiet and wait for the doctor. After a while, they finished their examination. This coincided with Dr. Bernard entering the room. He looked at her, clearly pleased that she was awake.

"It's good to see you awake," he said, "We were worried when you didn't wake up as soon as we hoped. Are you feeling alright?"

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine," Momo said, "What happened? Where's Toushiro?"

"You'll be glad to know that Toushiro is perfectly fine?" Dr. Bernard said, "He was severely injured, and we had to amputate his leg below the knee, but he's not in danger and is recovering nicely. As for what happened to you, let's just say that things didn't go quite as planned."

"What do you mean?" Momo asked.

Before he could answer, the door was thrown open and somebody walked in.

"Momo! You're awake!" Rangiku said, rushing to her side, "I was so worried about you!"

"Don't worry, I'm fine. What were you about to say, Dr. Bernard?" Momo asked.

"I was saying that your heart nearly stopped and we had to perform emergency operations on you," Bernard said.

"You mean the procedure we were planning before?" Momo asked.

"No, we decided that that particular operation wouldn't do much good while you were already undergoing a near-heart attack, so we opted to instead transplant a complete heart, along with several arteries and valves," Bernard said. Momo raised a hand to her chest in shock.

"So… So I've already had the heart transplant? And it worked?" she said in amazement.

"Yes, and you'll be pleased to learn that so far it is working perfectly. If things continue to go as well as they are now, you'll live for at least another thirty years, maybe much more. You've won, Momo. The birth defect that has plagued you your whole life is gone."

Momo nearly shed tears of happiness at the thought. Elation and happiness swelled inside of her, but then she thought of something.

"Wait, didn't you say that the only donor you could find that matched me was already claimed by someone else?" Momo asked, "Whose heart was it that I received?"

"It was mine."

Momo looked over in shock to see Miyone standing in the doorway.

"What… what do you mean?" she said, her mind unable to comprehend what was being said.

"You were on the verge of death, and they had no other way of helping you, so I offered to donate my heart to you," Miyone explained.

"But… but you're here right now!" Momo said, "How can you have donated your heart?"

"We had an experimental artificial heart that I designed personally," Bernard explained, "We operated on both of you at the same time, transplanting Miyone's heart to you and the artificial heart to Miyone." Momo continued to stare at Miyone.

"Miyone… why would you do such a thing?" Momo asked, "You put yourself in horrible danger by doing that! Artificial hearts don't last forever! They're meant to extend a terminally ill person's life a few years, not completely replace a healthy person's heart! You could die because of this! Why would you do such a thing for me of all people?"

"Because Toushiro told me to protect you," Miyone said quietly, "I knew the dangers when I agreed to do this. I did it because I wanted to. Toushiro loves you, and he couldn't live his life happily without you. He was unconscious at the time, but I retained hope that he would survive and live happily after all of this is over."

"But how could you risk your life for such a thing?" Momo asked.

"For Toushiro's happiness and wellbeing, I was willing to risk my life," Miyone said.

"Oh… Oh Miyone…" Momo said, teary eyed. She felt like she could hug Miyone right now, and probably would have were she not so weak.

"If it makes you feel any better, this new artificial heart is very advanced, so she should live a full life with it. I designed myself. I would have used it on you, but your body was so weak that I was afraid what would happen with such an experimental device. It was much safer to transplant a real heart."

"I owe you my life, Miyone…" Momo said quietly.

"And I owe you even more than my life is worth."

Momo looked over, her eyes widening to see Toushiro being pushed through the door in a wheelchair.

"Toushiro!" she cried.

"Momo… I'm so glad you're awake," Toushiro said, "Rangiku, could you help me up?"

Rangiku helped Toushiro out of the wheelchair, putting his arm around her shoulder. Momo saw that he now had only one leg, and he must have noticed her expression as he hurriedly tried to reassure her.

"Don't worry, they're already working on a prosthetic," he said, "More importantly, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm feeling wonderful, Toushiro," Momo said as Rangiku helped lower Toushiro to the side of her bed.

Momo smiled, a tear trickling down her cheek as she and Toushiro kissed. She felt nothing but happiness. She was going to live, Toushiro was going to live. They would be able to live happily together, raising the baby. The dream she had experienced was real, it was going to happen. She and Toushiro would be together, forever. For the first time in her life, the specter of fear was completely gone, leaving only happiness and hope.

_The End_

* * *

Thank you for reading. Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter and every chapter before it. Thanks to everyone who put this story on their favorite and story alert lists. It was fun writing this story, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. There is an alternate ending that I might write up and post at some point, but for all intents, the story is complete. Thanks again to everyone who has read or reviewed this story.


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